Late for a Very Important Date

You guys”¦I’m late. For my wedding.

According to this, I was supposed to get married back in December!

Screenshot 2014-02-10 18.35.04

Graph of my Facebook friends via Time

Luckily, we have less than five months to go, so I should be OK.

All kidding aside, I found the article (and the analysis) by TIME Tech really interesting. I’m 33, which depending on where you live is probably really old to get married, or maybe right on target. The under-25 marrieds in my graph above are all my cousins in Texas, and I only have a couple married friends around my age (and no close friends who are younger than I am and married). They talk a little more about the methodology in the article (which I found interesting since I teach AP Statistics), but basically they look at all of your Facebook friends who list an age and a relationship status, and then find the median age of marriage. In my case, half my friends got married later than 33 and half before.

We know that the average age of marriage for women is about 27 (via Census), up from 20.5 in 1950. But facts like that are so tough to interpret. In my major city, most people seem to wait until a little older, whereas all four of my cousins in Texas got married within two months of college graduation. Is it regional? Based on your friend group? I don’t know, but I find it really fascinating.

Every once in a while, someone will post on the boards about being an older bride”¦and then they’re younger than I am. It’s all in the perspective. My mini-me (my student teacher who is so like me it’s scary) got married fresh out of college—but so did plenty of other people; getting engaged in college was just what you did. My college? I knew one person who got engaged. A friend who married her college sweetheart waited four years after she graduated. I definitely don’t feel “late” at 33 (well, most of the time, at least), but there’s only one other Miss blogger over 30 right now, so maybe I am!

MOH Sis (who is 30) and I have talked a lot about this, and how much social circles and region play a part in when people feel like they “should” get married. It’s so easy to assume everyone should be like us and follow the same patterns. I don’t think there’s any “right” time for everyone, and I’m happy to be marrying the right man for me in June (much more so than hitting a target date!). And I know I’m on target with three weddings coming up in May of other friends (in a range of ages, actually)—so good thing I didn’t catch this at the end of May. I bet I’ll be way overdue by then!

How about you? Where do you fall relative to your friends? Are you late? Early?


Mrs. Clover

Wedding Date:
June 2014
Classifieds: February 11, 2014
Work It: Relationships Take Effort

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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    Anna, Guest @ 6:03 am

    The only thing I noticed is I have way more unmarried friends than married

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Carrie, Guest @ 6:32 pm

    In my opinion, finish college first, that puts you at 22, then get an apartment and paint it and make it your own for a year, that puts you at 23. Minimum. You had better get out there and go to clubs and shake your booty and feel single. And I HOPE you’ve gone out to at least Starbucks with a dozen guys. Then I’ll let you get married.

    But, assuming you haven’t met the one yet, then ideally, 26. That gives you 2 years after college to be single and live in your own apartment and date. And focus on your carreer. Then you meet Mr. Right at 24, get engaged after a year at 25 and focus on your wedding for the following year. Ha! It’s perfect. 26. Oh, and that gives you 4 years to be a young, beautiful, skinny married couple and take vacactions and be alone and have thriving careers and fiendships, then you get preggers at 30. Come on, perfecto.

    But if you meet Mr. Right in high school, well, you simply may not be able to wait. I mean, I believe in abstinence before marriage, so, you just may have to be that sweet, glowing, romantic young couple who simply must get married. If he’s the one, it’s pretty impossible to ask to break up so you can date other people, etc, etc. So consider yourself lucky, which you are, to have found your love, and the upside is you’ll be richer than the rest of us since you’ll be money-smarter together. Also more years of skinney, young and beautiful together. He’ll love that. Oh, and more years of love. X0X0

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    Carrie, Guest @ 6:50 pm

    But you are NOT permitted to try to fit yourself into that schedule. If you don’t find Mr. Right until 45, so be it. It’s okay. It’s MUCH better than making a mistake. And you probably have some healing to do somewhere, admit it. But THAT’S OK, TOO! It is what it is. You’re a beautiful person! Focus on the healing that has to happen.

    And no, the AIM is not to get married. The aim is to be happy and live life fully.

    To speed the process up inadvertantly, however, take your growth and happiness seriously. Be happy. Make changes. Take dating seriously. Make sure you’re available to date. Be honest about the whole process. Make a realization about the person you’re dating. Don’t date anyone for more than two years. Ya, you know them.

    And abstain from sex. For a million reasons. But one of them is, it will make you put your best foot forward and make better, faster decisions, because who wants to sleep alone. That’s what the Texans are doing. It’s the natural, romantic way. Don’t worry about the “test drive”. If you can’t live without him, that’s that. And the sex will probably be great because of that.

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    Carrie, Guest @ 1:44 pm


    Apprat said it perfectly and beautifully.

  5. Member
    Carolekins 40 posts, Newbee @ 8:05 am

    I would not worry about getting married at the “right” age. I married at age 16 just in love not pregnant in case you wondered. Many years on I married again at 61. Age really is just a number. If you feel the person and the time is right for you it does not matter what age you are .

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    HJ, Guest @ 5:16 pm

    The median age for me was 26.5! I’ll be getting married 2 weeks after the date they predicted. This was pretty cool!

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