OK, so I have a confession to make: I am most certainly, without a doubt one of the most easily stressed people out there. One thing that makes the top of the “things that stress me out” (and therefore should be avoided) list is not having control over my situations and surroundings. Yes, in my opinion, it is a general character flaw; no, I’m sorry, I cannot control it. Those close to me are used to it, and it only creeps up and bites me in the butt every so often. But jeez, I’m planning a wedding here!! And since there are not 72 hours in a day, and I can’t magically create things (although, my fellow brides will agree, that would make things SO.MUCH.EASIER.), I am finding myself having to relinquish control over more and more things as the planning progresses.
Sadly, this post is not about the fact that I have to relinquish venue-cleaning control to my mother in exchange for leaving for our honeymoon (yes, this stresses me out to a near-crazy extent). This post is instead about something that, while there are varying viewpoints on, I feel that sometimes the viewpoint I have is criticized, and I think it is important to address.
And the topic at hand, my friends, is bachelor parties.
First of all, I don’t really understand the concept: if you’re about to get married, you’re not single, nor have you been for (more than likely) a VERY LONG TIME. Some guys use this opportunity for a welcome break from the chaos of planning (well, the chaos of listening to their bride do all the planning) and a night out with the guys enjoying some completely innocent fun. OTHER guys, use this as an opportunity to basically do whatever they want.
Sadly for Mr. B, I have a major stigma against bachelor parties based on the latter of those two examples. I have always felt this way; however, it was, admittedly, made far worse by my first husband. Granted, this is not Mr. B’s fault, and he should be able to enjoy a good time with his friends based on the innocent-good-time model of bachelor parties. HOWEVER, despite all the trust and faith I have in Mr. B, any mention of a bachelor party and I get anxiety. I literally become a crazy person. Rationally, I know I’m being completely irrational and ridiculous. The problem is: I sincerely can’t help it. I have no control over what they plan or how it happens, which, honestly, knowing my need for control, only perpetuates the problem.
It’s a tough subject because none of my friends share my opinions, and his friends, while they know how I feel, think I’m being ridiculous and basically think it’s a joke. It’s hard to deal with, especially when I’m in the minority. I know there are many brides out there who share my feelings, whether or not they’d like to admit it, and oftentimes it’s hard to deal with. I’m jealous of my friends who can be so calm and collected (and lax) when it comes to such issues—I wish I could just let it all go. But even when I try, it lasts about five seconds and I’m back to being stressed out about, well, nothing.
Are you like me and think that bachelor parties are unnecessary evils you wish you could just take control of? Or are you one of the cool, calm, and collected ones that tells your husband-to-be to just go have fun?