Birth Order & Compatibility

This excerpt from Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, The Birth Order Connection, talks about the most compatible birth order pairings when it comes to relationships.

The Best
-only child and youngest
-first-born and youngest

The Potentially Problematic
-oldest to oldest
-oldest to middle

The Worst
-middle child to middle child
-middle child to youngest
-youngest to youngest

The Absolute Worst
-only girl to only boy
-youngest female with no brothers and youngest male with no sisters

I’ve always been fascinated by how much birth order really does affect your personality and relationships. I definitely have the personality of an oldest, my brother definitely has the personality of a youngest. My mom is an oldest, my dad is a youngest.

I get along best with oldests in my friendships, and almost all my friends are first borns. But in relationships, the opposite holds true – I’m most compatible with youngests. Mr. Bee is actually a middle child, but the younger of twins, so there’s a unique kinda dynamic going on there. (Mr. Bee’s brother definitely has the personality of an oldest.)

What are you and your fiance’s birth orders? How much do you think your birth orders affect your compatibility?


Mrs. Bee

New York
Wedding Date:
March 2005
Most Popular
Wedding Registries
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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    K, Guest @ 2:27 pm

    I didn’t see anything for only & only…we’re both only children….

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    C, Guest @ 9:48 am

    yeah, what about oldes to only? 🙂

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    kanipark, Guest @ 11:50 am

    we are oldest oldest… i can totally see why it could be problematic… cuz we both think we’re the BOSS 🙂

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    es, Guest @ 12:07 pm

    i thought I was the only person obsessed with birth order. I’m going to buy that book today.

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    Jane, Guest @ 12:14 pm

    haha…i’m the youngest girl with no brothers and he’s the youngest boy with no sisters, so i guess we’re one of the worst! we get along amazingly well. the only time we have issues is trying to figure out what we want for dinner. we’ll go through 15 minutes of “what-do-you-want-i-don’t-know-whatever-you-want” and finally give up and just go for white castle burgers.

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    snot, Guest @ 5:38 pm

    i am an only. my fi is the youngest… but is from a divorced family who separated the kids so is a little more of an only child than the youngest. hahaha. i wonder how that works. hopefully still well!

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    Laura, Guest @ 5:57 pm

    Jane: I’m in the same situation. I am the youngest with no brothers and he is the youngest with no sisters yet we get along great!

  8. Guest Icon Guest
    ck, Guest @ 8:47 pm

    i always ended up dating the youngest guy – and i am an oldest. says its supposed to be the best, but in retrospect i hated it each time. i guess they say its supposed to work well bc oldest knows how to deal w/ youngest, and they should be compatible, but i always felt that i already had a younger brother, i didnt need two.

    now im dating another oldest, and maybe its “potentially problematic”, its been great so far! =)

  9. Guest Icon Guest
    lindsay, Guest @ 11:35 am

    aaron and i are youngest to oldest. it works for us. :o)

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    OscarQ, Guest @ 11:30 am

    I’m the oldest and he’s the oldest so I guess we’re okay. There’s an age gap in FI’s family so he sometimes seems like an only child. The majority of my friends are oldest or only children. My sis (middle child) was married to the youngest child and only male. While I think their “roles” in their respective families contributed to their issues, it was doomed for other reasons. Youngest sis is now living with (and will probably be soon engaged) an oldest, only male. Watching them interact is like a TV comedy – they are dedicated to their role and carry it out completely.

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