Treely, Madly, Deeply: The One Thing I Would Change & The Cake Cutting

After the speeches, we ate. We had a buffet, hive, and although the food was fabulous, we don’t have any pictures of it. One of my biggest pieces of advice to other brides: know your guests. I work for a catering company that is known for its high quality, “trendy” food…and had we opted to serve this type of food at our wedding, it would have been lost on our guests (Mr. Palm Tree and me included, if we’re being honest). We aren’t foodies and something like a served three-course dinner would have been completely pointless and time-wasting for us—yet an open, full bar was an absolute must. Obviously, this isn’t the case for everybody, but that’s why I stress the importance of knowing your guests.

Our menu was what Mr. Palm Tree and I refer to as typical Western Pennsylvania event fare: seasoned baked chicken, penne pasta in marinara sauce, Italian sausage with peppers and onions, roast beef with au jus, green beans with almonds, rice pilaf, tossed salad, and freshly baked rolls. Seriously, you guys, I think I’ve eaten some version of this at almost every graduation party, wedding, family function, etc.—but it never stops being so damn delicious. Almost everyone in the wedding party commented that they wished they would have gone back through the buffet line because it was so good.

Mr. Palm Tree and I inhaled our food because I was so insistent on visiting all of our guests. I had this vision that we could totally get to everyone while they were eating their dinner, since we ate ours so quickly. I’m just going to say it now: I wish we hadn’t done this. Not so much the inhaling, but placing such a high importance on visiting every table. We barely made it through one half of the room before our DJ came up to us, saying we had to get the rest of the evening started. I remember semi-battling with him, saying we had to finish the tables, and him saying that we needed to cut the cake and do all of the other things, otherwise we’d never have time for dancing—which is what I said to him was the most important part of the evening.

After we cut our cake and had our first dance, we immediately flew to the other side of the room and tried to visit people. Again, I just wish we hadn’t done this. I swear, we spent at least an hour, maybe longer, on this. If I could change one thing, I would have visited some of the family tables, and maybe some of the older guests, and let everyone else come to us on the dance floor. I would have strategically planned: “OK, we have to hit tables 1, 3, 6, and 7 before we do anything else.” I would have made an effort to seek people out when on the dance floor, but not making a point to go to every single table. It took so long, and even after we got the “traditions” out of the way, our DJ was still trying to chase us down and say that people were requesting songs for us and that our dance floor needed us. I hate that I didn’t listen to him, I hate that I was so stubborn and caught up in everything. I’m not saying that it ruined our wedding or even put a damper on the evening, because it didn’t by any means. I didn’t even think about any of this until long after the wedding, when I was reflecting bit-by-bit. It was still an amazing night and it was still everything I could have imagined—maybe even more than I could have imagined—but if I could change anything, that would be it.

Now that that’s been said, moving on: I didn’t really discuss what traditions we would be upholding at our wedding because I didn’t give much thought to any of them. To be honest, I could have done without the ones we did keep, but I didn’t care enough to absolutely eliminate them, if that makes sense. I knew that I did want them to be knocked out in succession, though—no starting and stopping for this bride. Once the dance floor was open, I wanted it to stay open for the entire evening.

Our cake came as part of our package at The Fez. It was created by Brenda McGee, of Wedding Cakes by Brenda, and it was so pretty. True confessions: I didn’t really give a hoot about our wedding cake. I totally gave this one to Mr. Palm Tree. He picked the design as well as the flavors. The bottom two tiers were French vanilla. The bottom tier had strawberry filling and the second tier had Bavarian cream filling. Our top tier was almond with a mix of the strawberry and Bavarian cream filling. (I totally just had to verify all of this with Mr. Palm Tree, because I couldn’t remember anything other than the almond—when I check out, I check out hard.)

*all photos courtesy of Limelight-Images


We chose “Marry You” by Bruno Mars as our cake-cutting song. We went back and forth so many times trying to choose between his version or the Glee version, which is the version with which we originally fell in love. We ended up going with Bruno Mars’s version and I don’t even remember the reasoning why—maybe because we were tired of debating the two.

What I remember about our cake cutting: me having no idea how to actually cut the cake. I remember feeling so lost and confused. Thank God for Jimmy, our photographer, who essentially walked us through the process. #BrideAndGroomFail





Right after the above picture, we both ended up moving our hands and smearing the cake over each other’s noses. Mr. Palm Tree got serious with it and some ended up in my hair.


After we cleaned up (and got a quick refill from the bar), we made our way to the dance floor for our first dance.



Mrs. Palm Tree

March 20
Pittsburgh, PA
Wedding Date:
May 2013
I Carry Your Heart: Ring Bearer Down
Gift Giving in Japan
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  1. Member
    lynnielou33193 767 posts, Busy bee @ 1:14 pm

    We are having Glee songs in our wedding!! We were definitely thinking about using that one too 🙂

  2. rucksack Bee
    rucksack 518 posts, Busy bee @ 1:18 pm

    Our cake cutting was super awkward! And like most of our “traditions” I barely remember it. It was mostly, “Ok let’s do this thing so we can get out of spotlight and eat some cake.” It was good cake. Also, you guys look like cake pros in your pics!

  3. campfire Bee
    campfire 1045 posts, Bumble bee @ 1:24 pm

    I took the lead on the cake cutting and this is how Sparky responded: “Mrs. Campfire, that is the smallest piece of cake ever.” Which I supposed is doubly sad because that one bite of cake was the only one he got at our wedding.

  4. Member
    nowdontletsbesilly 1428 posts, Bumble bee @ 2:13 pm

    I totally totally agree with your idea to prioritize which tables to visit. We were totally dumb and started with our friends, and never even saw probably 1/3 of the guests face to face because they left before we got a chance! If I could do it all over again, I would make an effort to visit the tables with people I didn’t think would dance. Ugh.

  5. Member
    texasaggiemom 595 posts, Busy bee @ 2:57 pm

    Thanks for this timely post! My daughter and I are currently debating whether they should visit tables during dinner, and I was lobbying hard in favor of it, until I read this. Her groom has a huge family, many of whom she’ll be meeting for the first time that day. I was feeling like they should make the time to at least thank people for coming (almost all guests have to travel to our hometown) and acknowledge them, but now I can see both sides of it.

  6. msfilly Bee
    Mrs. Filly 85 posts, Worker bee @ 3:30 pm

    As someone having a relatively big wedding, your post is pretty much my worst nightmare – I still have no idea how to balance greeting all my guests and enjoying the evening. GAHHHH.

    Your menu sounds delicious, by the way!

  7. Member
    cakeyp 2562 posts, Sugar bee @ 6:10 am

    We’re getting married AT our reception venue (literally in the same room – they hide the tables and then once cocktail hour gets underway, they set the reception room up.
    After our ceremony, we walk down the aisle, stand to the right of an interior door, and our receiving line will be funneled right into cocktail hour. I know not many people will linger because A. open bar B. bacon; but we will get the “congrats” and the “thank you for comings” out of the way right there.
    But my mom is still insiting that we should visit every table during the reception and thank everyone. SIGH. I really disagree with this… I should have seen everyone already because they better damn well have not skipped my ceremony (it’s literelly at the same place! There is FOOD there if you get there early! It’s the important part!)

    I am sure we’ll end up doing both though.
    I’m worried it will take up too much time. :/
    Maybe you’re right… get the family out of the way and either skip friends (we can dance our thank you’s with them) or get to them later.

  8. mswaterfall Bee
    Mrs. Waterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:30 pm

    Girllllll, PR-EACH! I was so set on not having a receiving line and decided that we could greet every table instead. Well, we didn’t get to eat AND still didn’t make to every table so that’s something I would do differently for sure.
    @Mrs. Campfire: OMG us too! I had a hard time cutting the cake, so we just had small bites of it and we didn’t get any more cake after that, which is so sad because I loved my cake 🙁

  9. Member
    daniellekira 573 posts, Busy bee @ 2:04 pm

    We ate our dinner, then made our way to each table. My husband told me only a minute or two at each table, and that we would have to move on. At every table, he had to tell me to move to the next one because I was too chatty. Thank god I had him to do that because we made it to every table, took a picture with each table and we were happy we did that. We did have to do the last three (tables 1 -3, family tables) after our father/daughter and mother/son dances, but we did it with ease. But I totally understand taking too much time with those. But it is good that you did some because a wedding we just went to didn’t go to any tables and it seemed awkward and some people never even talked to the bride and groom.

  10. mspalmtree Bee
    Mrs. Palm Tree 1122 posts, Bumble bee @ 3:39 pm

    @lynnielou33193: LOVE love love. I’m a huge Gleek, totally support this. 🙂

    @Mrs. Rucksack: Samesies. I remember thinking, “we should’ve just skipped it” – but I do love the shot of everyone together from the balcony, so at least we got that. Plus, my ladies did gift me an awesome serving set, so at least it got use. 😉

    @Mrs. Campfire: LOL. I think our slice was huge but it was really such a blur. It was also the only bite of cake I had at our wedding, but I’m not sad about it. I had priorities!

    @NowDontLetsBeSilly: EXACTLY. Older people, maybe some of the ‘extended’ family members, but overall, I do wish we had let people come to us. Hopefully people learn from my mistake!

    @TexasAggieMom: I’m so glad that this was even remotely helpful! I read once that no guest expects to have quality time with the Bride and Groom and pre-wedding, I was all “I WILL spend QT with all of my guests,” but obviously, post-wedding, I feel differently. I really think it’s something that should be considered from all factors – guest count, amount of time at rental, ‘flow’ of the evening, etc.

    @Miss Filly: I’m telling you, let people come to you. I really wish that’s what we had done. It’s not like we had MEANINGFUL conversations with anyone and you have to awkwardly cut the conversation short to move to the next table anyway. Sigh. Good luck!

    @CakeyP: Our ceremony was also literally in the same room as our reception (yet another reason I wish we had skipped the visits). I seriously think you should definitely just do a few key tables, that you plan out ahead of time, and then have your DJ announce something like, “the Bride and Groom would now like to invite everyone to join them on the dance floor!” Just my opinion, of course – good luck finding something that works for you!

    @Mrs. Waterfall: Gah, we shoveled our food SO FAST. I wish I had let myself enjoy it, maybe gone up for seconds, and spent more time on the dance floor. Sigh.

    @daniellekira: I can definitely understand this aspect of it. While I don’t think we spent more than two minutes at each table, with 24 tables, that’s still almost an hour – something I wish I had considered prior. I’m glad that it worked for you and your guests, though!

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