Don’t Stress When Choosing Your Bridal Party

For some people, you may have had an idea of who would be in your bridal party for some time now. For others, a root canal is probably more pleasant than the thought of deciding who to include as your leading ladies (or men).


“I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree” — Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids / Image via

Then there are some who get so fed up with the whole process of choosing a bridal party that they ultimately decide not to have one. And you know what? That’s totally fine. There are no rules saying you have to have anyone (and there’s no rule saying you can’t have 10 bridesmaids if that’s what you want). Ultimately, you and your fiance need to do what works best for you.

For our wedding party, I decided to have my sister as maid of honor and my six closest friends as bridesmaids. FH has his brother as best man and six of his closest buddies as groomsmen. While I would have loved to include a few more girls (Remember that huge family I told you about? I have A LOT of cousins.), but for us the bridal party would have just been too big. There are also added costs on the bride and groom’s end when you add people to your bridal party (attendant gifts, bouquets, etc.).

There are many factors and reasons as to why people do/do not choose certain people to be in their bridal party, but remember at the end of the day you are not obliged to have anyone in your wedding party just because. The point of a bridal party is to support you through the wedding process and to be your rock the day of the wedding (and provide the booze to calm your nerves!). The best advice I’ve heard regarding who to choose is to think this: When you look at pictures of your bridal party in the future, will you smile at each face staring back at you? Regardless of any petty squabbles that may come up in the months leading up to the wedding, make sure you feel confident enough in your connections with these friends/family members that no matter what, this person will always have your back.


Image via

What criteria did you use to choose your bridal party?


Mrs. Mongoose

New Haven, CT
Wedding Date:
May 2013
Gallery of the Day
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  1. Member
    proverbs131 221 posts, Helper bee @ 1:42 pm

    My definition of being a friend is very similar to Anne of Green Gables, therefore when I chose my bridal party it wasn’t very difficult because although I have several associates that I consider to be friendly with me; I chose my two sisters and 2 friends who have been there for me through the entire journey of our relationship

  2. Member
    missgemini 620 posts, Busy bee @ 1:49 pm

    I’ve seen all sorts of different ways of putting a bridal party together and I love that times have changed and almost anything goes these days!

    Truthfully, I don’t have that many girlfriends…and important girls in my life have moved so far away or have started families so it’s been a tricky decision for me.
    I’m having 3 bridesmaids…but if it wasn’t a little strange to have my mom as maid of honour I would have had 4 😉

  3. msmongoose Bee
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 2:32 pm

    @MissGemini: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having your mom as maid of honor–that would be so special and sweet 🙂

  4. Member
    farinw 38 posts, Newbee @ 7:23 pm

    I’ve been in the bridal party where the bride has included the one girl that no one knew or had anything in common with. I was also in a wedding where I was the youngest by 10 years and where she invited her brother’s girlfriend of 2 months. Well, the girlfriend is now an ex, and is in all the photos. And I had a horrible time when I was around 14 years old and all the other maids were married or 10+ years older.

    I made sure that all my maids would be in the same age range and situation, and would have an awesome with or without me. This whole bridal party is just that- a party! And while I made sure everyone involved would be in my future (have always been there for me for years) I knew I wanted them to be able to chat and have fun together. This was probably one of the hardest decisions I had to make haha.

  5. Member
    brooklyn55 743 posts, Busy bee @ 9:20 pm

    We decided to keep our wedding party as small as possible while still having the support we needed. For me that number ended up being three. Two of them are my best friends who I consider myself equally as close to, one I meet during freshmen orientation at college and we stayed inseparable ever since and the other I met sophomore year of college (she was a freshmen)and we were roommates for 2 years. I have a very different but equally close relationship so I did not want to choose just one to be a MOH, however, my third bridesmaid is my cousin. Her and I used to joke that we “the sister we never had” (I actually have a half sister but SUPER strained relationship) and promised we’d be bridesmaids. We have grown apart a little over the years but I still wanted her to be a part in our day. I decided I couldn’t ask 2 girls to be my maid of honor without hurting my cousins feelings so all my girls all equals which works out great because they are taking on different MOH roles. For example, my old roommate is the only one comfortable with speaking so she will be doing the toast and a reading at our ceremony. My other college friend is the party girl so she is planning and getting my bachelorette party together. My cousin is the only one who lives in the same town as me (and has her mom, my dear aunt to help her) so its easiest for her to plan the wedding showers. It’s working out great!!!

  6. Member
    FutureMrsSpencer 526 posts, Busy bee @ 11:03 am

    I am lucky because my family is kind of small and I don’t have a huge amount of friends. For me it was kind of easy because I have 2 of my sisters, younger cousin which is like a younger sister, my 2 besties and my niece as a Jr. Bridesmaid. We have had some issues with 3 of us being in college and 2 deciding to move to other states last summer, and personal styles BUT I couldn’t imagine getting married without anyone else standing up there with me.

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