No, this post is not about wedding night sex!
This post is about the honeymoon!
Now when I first told people I was getting married during nursing school, I got a mixed bag of reactions: Mostly polite congratulations, some crazy looks, and just a little flat-out-rude discouragement. I think I’m getting a slight idea about why.
My particular nursing program is a 15 month “fast-track” program, which means we pretty much go continuously for three month sessions with one week break in between. Guess which week DOESN’T fall on a break! Of course, the week after our wedding! Since it’s a fairly newish program not particularly known for its communication skills, my desperate pleas for information about this summer’s schedule have been met with a whole bunch of “we’re not really sure yet.” The good news is, this program is online with one to two full days of clinicals (school time spent with real patients) a week. They THINK clinicals that semester “might be on Tuesdays, but don’t count on it” and there are rumors that we have a test every week. Joking, (or am I?) I may need some serious Xanax that week.
Because of this, we’ve decided that IF a honeymoon is gonna go down, it’s going to be a mini-moon!
Here are some worst-case scenarios:
1. In the case that clinicals are ACTUALLY on Tuesdays, either head straight from the hospital to the airport (worst, worst case) or fly out bright and early Wednesday morning (slightly better). Study on the plane there/back for a hopefully non-existant test that next Monday. Damn.
2. Throw caution to the wind and re-schedule/skip clinical. Live in a bubble for the rest of the semester to prevent getting sick ever/having to miss another one.
3. Fake death. Go on mini-moon and never come back.
4. World ends on December 21st, situation becomes null and void.
Best case scenarios (unlikely)
1. No clinical that week. No test either. Best week of my life.
2. The nursing department decides that a mini-moon is a completely acceptable reason to miss three to four days of material and I get off scott-free.
Also, since we’ll have spent pretty much every dime we’ve ever earned on our wedding, we’re largely relying on Mr. Manatee’s Fancy New Job sign-on bonus (which we may not even get in time) and hope that our guests continue to react positively to our Honeyfund.
And yes, we’re doing a Honeyfund.
All these things/stressful roadblocks beg the question…Do we really need to have a honeymoon right away? Besides, we’ve already been—wait for it—cohabitating/living together/LIVING IN SIN (nobody faint!) for over a year now. If honeymoons are traditionally for exploration, that ship has sailed.
The only saving grace to this situation is that the mini-moon in question is firmly in Mr. Manatee’s territory, and once we get the go-ahead on any of the above-mentioned scenarios, he’s going to be planning it.
Like many bees before me, I’m left biting my fanga-nails to the quick and trying to convince myself that its totally okay that we may not have a honeymoon/minimoon…yet.