When I posted about our wedding bands, you may have sensed some hesitancy on my part about my wedding band. The pair of matching diamond bands were pretty and sparkly and Mr. PB liked them a lot, but they just didn’t sit right with me. Maybe it’s my stubbornness, maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m just a PITA about things. But I had such a vision in my head from the time we bought the engagement ring, and I just couldn’t shake it.
After some hemming and hawing, I asked Mr. PB if it was OK if I looked into exchanging my band. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and it was his money that bought the band, but luckily for me he was on board for whatever I wanted. He said that he was able to convince me to get an engagement ring that was out of my comfort zone, so I could go with my gut about the wedding band.
I looked at Kay’s website and they didn’t have many options for a ring with gemstones and diamonds, but they did have a wide selection of mother’s rings. In my mind, a mother’s ring and a wedding band are pretty much the same concept: a metal with stones put into it. Why not find a mother’s ring that I could customize with the gemstones and call that my wedding band?
Mother’s Ring Customized. This could work”¦ / Screenshot via Kay Jewelers
I called Kay’s to make sure that the person that Mr. PB and I had worked with for my engagement ring and the wedding bands was working that day. He was, so I went after work. I mentally prepared myself to stick my grounds and get what I had my heart set on.
I brought the mother’s ring idea with me to Kay’s, and to say the jeweler didn’t like it would probably be a big understatement. He basically looked at me like I was crazy. He kept trying to convince me the double bands were the way to go. I kept pushing back and trying to suggest other rings, maybe ones with a twist or a design. He told me I couldn’t go for those rings because they didn’t go with my ring. He then pulled out an analogy: “It’s like buying a suit. If you buy a suit jacket, you have to buy the pants to match. But if you get a sport coat, you have more flexibility with the pants.” ***insert cricket noises here*** I don’t know why he thought I knew about buying suits, but his analogy didn’t really do anything for me. Basically he was trying to tell me that had I picked a solitaire engagement ring, I’d have more wedding band options, but because I picked the ring I did, my options were few. Maybe if the pants that I had my heart set on didn’t get discontinued like he told me they wouldn’t, I wouldn’t have been in the predicament that I was: in search of pants, err”¦a wedding band.
My hard-headedness continued on, and I went back to wanting colored stones. He told me that the reason diamonds were in most wedding bands and rings is because they are the hardest stone, and therefore last the longest. He said that the sapphires (both blue and pink) were only one step down from the diamonds, so they should be OK, but the amethysts could get cloudy in about 10 years. I asked him how much it could cost to replace the stones, thinking hundreds of dollars. He said about $15 a stone, so $45. If I have to pay $45 every 10 years to upgrade my dream wedding band, I’ll count that as money well spent.
He then showed me a 15-stone ring and suggested the stones be three diamonds, pink sapphire, sapphire, amethyst, three diamonds, pink sapphire, sapphire, amethyst, three diamonds. With his suggestion, I would end up with six small loose diamonds and was back in the same boat of my center diamond lining up with diamonds in the wedding band. I pushed back once again and said that I wanted it pink sapphire, sapphire, amethyst, three diamonds, pink sapphire, sapphire, amethyst, three diamonds, pink sapphire, sapphire, amethyst. That decision was met with hesitancy from him—he warned me we’d have nine loose diamonds and then he said the thing that really made me dig my heels in the ground: “Are you sure you don’t want a second opinion? Are you sure you don’t want to come back with Mr. PB another time?” Calming the fury that was bubbling up inside of me, I told him no, that it was what I wanted, we’d find something to do with the nine loose diamonds, and I was sure about it. His reaction: “Well, I guess you will have a one-of-a-kind wedding band then.” Thanks?
He took the time to write the order up and even used markers to color code the stones in the order that I wanted. I left feeling aggravated with the last 90 minutes of my life but confident in the decision I had made.
A few weeks later, I received a call that the ring was in, and I quickly scampered off to get it. As I was heading to the jewelry store, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something would be wrong, that the stones wouldn’t be in the right order. I get there, he opens the box, and wouldn’t you know, the colors were in the wrong order. Epic failure. The jeweler apologized and said he would have it fixed. I was sad to have to leave my ring again, but after all the hassle, I wanted it the way I wanted it, dang it! I left the store and began to walk out of the mall. I barely got out of the exit doors before I turned around. There was nothing wrong with the ring itself other than the stones being in the “wrong” order. Who would ever call me out if the stones weren’t in the same order as my bridesmaids? It was still the same stones, still the right color, and still the ring that I wanted. I went back in, took the ring back, and quickly snapped off a photo to Mr. PB.
WHABAM! Love it! (I still have to get it resized.) / Personal photo
In the end, I am super happy with how the wedding band turned out and will look forward to wearing it for many, many years to come. Even if I have to replace a few amethysts.
Did you go against a professional’s advice and follow your heart to get what you wanted? Did you realize a minor mishap didn’t really make too much of a difference and let it be?