So if you’ve been following along for a while, you might have noticed something. I mean, you might not have, either. I’ve never drawn attention to this until now. Let me get you started.
OK, OK. I’ll just say it. I don’t have any bridesmaids. That’s right—none. Even though it’s my third trip down the aisle, it’s definitely not because I’ve worn my friends out. In my first wedding, I had just a maid of honor. In my second wedding, we got married by ourselves, so there was no bridal party (and no guests!). So this, my third time around, would be the ideal time to live it up with my friends, right? I mean, I guess that’s one way of looking at it.
And I did see it that way at first. Although I never intended to have a bridal party, I used to still get wistful over pictures like these.
But really, this is one time when being an encore makes a difference to me. Of the girls I would ask, I have stood in two of their weddings. One of them was my maid of honor lo those many years ago. And all of them have been my friends literally since I was 12 years old. But we are all in our (this is going to hurt) mid-ish thirties now (yep, ouch), and it’s not the same as it was ten years ago. And if my single pal were to take a trip down the aisle, that would be different, too. But this isn’t my first rodeo, and we’re all getting older. If it were my first and only wedding, I wouldn’t hesitate. But when one of these girls can actually say “Hey, I’ve never been to one of your weddings before””¦well, that just changes the story.
Am I being silly? Maybe. Am I going to change my mind? No.
I have chosen to embrace my reality. I don’t have to pay for flowers for my girls. I don’t have to worry about picking a dress, or dress guidelines. I don’t have to mess with a rehearsal. (I know, wedding blasphemy. But think about it. I don’t.) I don’t have to worry that every girl in every size is comfortable and feels beautiful. I don’t have to stress over finding the perfect bridesmaid gifts. I don’t have to explain that I don’t want anyone to plan a shower or a bachelorette party. I never have to utter the words, “You can totally wear that again!”
Am I sad that my girls who have been my chosen family for so long will not be standing beside me? A little. Are they sad? I’m thinking not so much.
Are there any wedding basics that you are bypassing? If so, why?