I have mentioned previously my concern that my 93-year-old grandmother will not be able to make the journey from Florida to Savannah for the wedding. Well, the other day I came home to this:
She included a very sweet note but said her “age and feebleness” would not allow her to make the trip. Although I’ve had this in the back of my mind, seeing it on paper made it too real. I now need to think of a way to include something of hers in my ensemble, but I do not know how to coordinate that with her when she is difficult to speak with on the phone. Maybe I can write her a letter and ask her to send me a piece of lace or a handkerchief. I would love something to wrap around my bouquet if possible.
Gram isn’t the only Bicycle family member who will be absent. A few months ago my aunt mentioned to me that she and my uncle have had a very difficult year financially and that only my uncle (my father’s brother) would be able to travel from Miami to Savannah. She wrote this to me in an email and I didn’t even respond because I thought for sure that wasn’t going to be the case. Well, once invitations went out I got another email from her reiterating that plan. I do not want to be a financial burden on anyone, so I told her I understood and that we could all celebrate together as a family at Thanksgiving and that my uncle did not have to come if it was really such a burden. She quickly accepted and just like that, half of my family will not be at my wedding.
It just seems almost pointless to be throwing this wedding when half of my tiny family won’t even be there. We are throwing a wedding (instead of getting married in a small ceremony or at the courthouse) so we can celebrate with our friends and family. If a lot of my family isn’t even there, what is the point? I recently got a decline from a good friend and I think that’s what threw me over the edge. The whole thing just seems silly.
Even given all of that, I am still excited to celebrate with those who are able to make the journey. I just worry that on my wedding day I will be thinking about the people who aren’t there instead of enjoying those who are.
Have any other brides dealt with this? Any advice for focusing on those who are present instead of those who aren’t?