Gone But Not Forgotten

I’ve mentioned before briefly that I was incredibly close to my grandparents on my mother’s side. As the child of a teen mom (long before teenage pregnancy was cool enough to have a TV show—WTF MTV?!), I spent a HUGE amount of time with my grandparents. They had every bit as much a hand in raising me as my actual parents. When I was younger I was terrified of losing them, but the unavoidable finally happened when I was in college and again last December. Devastated doesn’t even begin to cover it, and there is a large part of me that will NEVER stop mourning the loss of them. So it was extremely important to me that I honor them at my wedding. Then in May, we lost Mr. Orchard’s Gaga. Our hearts broke again as we added one more to our memorial list. There are several ways to honor lost loved ones, and we plan on having a photo table at the reception that features all of the special family members and friends we will be missing on our wedding day, but we both knew we wanted to do something more for our grandparents.

In my bouquet I will have several loose flowers. Mr. O will meet me at the end of the aisle after I walk down it, and we will take those flowers and place them on the seats that our grandparents would have occupied in the front row, where their pictures will be placed during the ceremony. It will be a separate action—Mr. Orchard will place his grandparents’ flowers and I will handle mine. We will not discuss it or explain it, the music will not change, but those who need to know will realize what we are doing. I want to believe that they will be somewhere close watching over us on that day, and I wanted to publicly show that we are thinking of them. I am sure it will be emotional for us, but it’s important that we do it. After we return to the center aisle we will begin the ceremony.

How will you honor those who have passed on at your wedding?


Mrs. Orchard

Morgantown, WV
Wedding Date:
November 2013
I'll Never Desert You: The Reading
Gallery of the Day: September 16, 2013
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  1. genie Bee
    genie 723 posts, Busy bee @ 7:21 am

    I am still devastated by my grandma’s passing, even though it happened over 4 years ago now. My maternal grandparents also had a huge hand in raising me, and I totally feel you, Miss O. I think your gesture is nice, and I wish I had thought to do something like that for my grandma.

  2. Member
    charmedbee 476 posts, Helper bee @ 7:33 am

    I am so sorry for your losses. My grandparents were also extrememly involved in raising me, and even now, 8 and 10+ years later, I still have a gaping hole in my heart. Oh, how I miss them, so I can totally empathize with you. I really, really wish I had read this post prior to my wedding. What a beautiful way to remember them.

  3. mspony Bee
    mspony 9265 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper @ 9:54 am

    This sounds like a beautiful way to honor and remember your grandparents.

  4. Member
    DBS5127 220 posts, Helper bee @ 5:26 pm

    That sounds like a really nice way to honor them. I like ways that are very obvious to those who know, but not so in your face to those who don’t. My FI and I are trying to figure out how to honor his father. We may end up using this idea. Thank you for sharing!

  5. mswaterfall Bee
    Mrs. Waterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 6:55 am

    I completely get where you’re coming from. I lived with my parents and grandparents throughout my childhood, and they definitely shaped who I grew up to be. I missed them so much on my wedding day, especially my grandma, who always used to fantasize about my wedding.
    It sounds like a lovely gesture, but have a handkerchief ready… You’re gonna bawl your eyes out 🙁

  6. Member
    daniellekira 573 posts, Busy bee @ 1:43 pm

    We also had a memorial photo table. Instead of using the sweetheart table for us two, we set it up in the entrance of the reception venue and had pictures of all of our grandparents who have passed away (I only have my grandma on my mother’s side left and my husband only has his grandfather on his mother’s side left). We also included a photo of each of us as children and a sign about them being here with us from afar. Very sentimental and I loved gathering all of their photos.

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