Invitation Wording

I’m currently in the process of finalizing wording for the wedding invitations and wanted to highlight some language we’ll be using that may seem atypical (or are pointed out as wedding invite etiquette no-nos). Despite what the etiquette rules say about guests magically knowing who’s invited by the specific names included on the outer/inner envelope, I’ve heard (and seen) time and time again the ultimate guest faux pas of assuming they can bring other people. I think the heart of the matter is that 1) many weddings do generally include a plus-one, but we’re trying to have an intimate gathering where we know every person who will be celebrating with us and 2) unless they’ve planned a wedding, most guests really and truly do not understand just how expensive weddings are—and that bringing additional guests is directly related to increasing the overall cost.


Image via It’s a Bride’s Life

So for our invitations, we are making it as clear as possible as to exactly who’s invited. I wrote a whole post about how we are not including children—we have let our guests know this via word of mouth and have also included it on the FAQ section of our wedding website. But just to be 100% clear, we are also including “Adults Only” on the bottom of our invites, next to “Formal Attire.” Apparently it’s a big etiquette no-no to say “Adults Only” on the invite, but I’m saying screw that. If it’s fine to tell guests what to wear (which is acceptable in the etiquette rules), then I say it’s acceptable to tell people it’s an adult affair.

For the RSVP cards, to ensure it’s crystal clear to guests exactly who from their household is invited, we are doing two things. First, below the RSVP card due date, we have a line that says “Due to the intimate nature of our wedding, we have reserved X seat(s) in your honor” (X will be the number of people invited from their household). And right below that, the invited guests’ names will be listed out with an “accepts/regrets” line below each for them to check off. If this doesn’t clarify who’s invited, I don’t know what else will! See the actual proofs below.


Example of the three-person household RSVP card / Digital proof of my order


Example of the two-person household RSVP card / Digital proof of my order

I think it’s OK to be polite but firm in any of the language you choose to include on your invites. Just because the wedding etiquette gods say this or that isn’t acceptable doesn’t mean it’s something you have to adhere to (after all, many of these rules were written decades ago and just frankly don’t apply to modern society anymore). It’s YOUR wedding—don’t be afraid to make up your own rules.

Did you go against traditional wedding etiquette in any way?


Mrs. Mongoose

New Haven, CT
Wedding Date:
May 2013
Daydreaming About LOVE
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  1. msmongoose Bee
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 7:50 am

    @cowpoke06: I love it! What are your wedding colors?

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Smile4sue, Guest @ 8:30 am

    @Miss Mongoose: Well I don’t think they will complain. I’m just trying to make it more convenient for the parents and I think they appreciate this. I talked to a few parents I’m inviting about this and they all loved that idea (especially the parents that are still breastfeeding). I think the fee is $10 an hour per kid… which I think is a reasonable price.

  3. graywolf Bee
    graywolf 725 posts, Busy bee @ 3:14 pm

    YES! i’ve been so surprised by people adding plus ones especially…this would really clear it up!

  4. Member
    busybee0706 16 posts, Newbee @ 9:49 pm

    I LOVE your invitations! Are you DIYing and working off a template? Wear did you find this invitation?

  5. msmongoose Bee
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 6:59 am

    @busybee0706: Thank you! My invites aren’t quite finished yet (the one in the picture is just an example) but the RSVP cards are proofs from my order. I am sooo not a DIY’er so I found my invitation designer on Etsy. Her info can be found in the previous post below;

  6. Member
    11sasha11 407 posts, Helper bee @ 6:59 pm

    It is super smart. Now did you have each name printed? Was it expensive?

    I am worried if i print it, well it will look bad.

    Thoughts and idea, price points?

  7. msmongoose Bee
    msmongoose 264 posts, Helper bee @ 7:37 am

    @canway11: I believe she charged me like $0.30 per name, so it wasn’t that bad–came out to an additional $40. They ended up looking fantastic!

  8. Member
    11sasha11 407 posts, Helper bee @ 2:57 pm

    I took your advise and am definitely putting adults only on the invite. Also I like the seats reserved. It gives them a clear idea as to who is invited and who is not.

    It is hard because with large families with a lot of out of town guests you never know how many you will get before the invites come back. Our range is 114 invites, 50% are out of towners and I think maybe 20% will come. With the economy it is hard for people to travel, pay for hotel and attire. I am hoping I get 80-85 people. We will see.

  9. Guest Icon Guest
    Wedding Invitations by Tango Design, Guest @ 11:05 pm

    I love the rsvp wording idea, and I do not see it rude at all. We have been creating invitations for Australia and overseas clients, over a decade and we ALWAYS advise to go with what it feel right. Noneone better than the bride and the groom to know their needs, their budget and theirs guests possible outcomes. There are 100’s of ways of being clear and keep the good manners. 🙂

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