On Keeping My Name…

I’m not changing my name, simple as that. Not because I’m a feminist, not because I like my name (I do), not because I don’t like Mr. Toadstool’s name; simply because I don’t have the option (not that I want to).

Image via Simpsons Wikia

I always wondered why Marge’s last name was Simpson just like everyone else’s, until in seventh grade my English teacher explained to me that in some countries the woman drops her last name and takes her husband’s. Really? Just like that?

Through the years I became familiar with the concept. I even got to talk to my Canadian roommate’s mom who explained her (very good) reasons for changing her name. (She wanted to have the same last name as her kids.)

The thing is in Mexico (and most Latin American countries) women don’t change their name—that’s just not an option. You just can’t change your name. I mean, I know there’s the option, but it’s a very complicated process where you need to go to court and give them a very good, legitimate reason for you to change your name, and even then they might not let you.

You know how it’s a cliché that we Latins have long names? that’s because we have two last names. In addition to my first and middle names, I have my dad’s first (paternal) last name and my mom’s first last name. Mr. Toadstool’s and my kids will have Mr. Toadstool’s dad’s last name and my dad’s last name, and so on.

There’s no way around it—when you’re born your parents are only asked about your first and middle name, and they automatically add the last name—simple really. And as I love visual aids, ’cause that the way my brain understands things, I made one:


So, I’ll be Miss Toadstool Dad’slastname Mom’slastname forever, and my kids will have my last name as their second one, although they might not use it as much if, like me, they only mention their second last name when it’s required.

Will you change your last name? If not, would you give your kids two last names?


Mrs. Toadstool

Obregon, Mexico
Wedding Date:
December 2012
Happiness Comes in Stripes
Add a comment


  1. Member
    MrsACarpenter 725 posts, Busy bee @ 9:05 am

    I’m using the “-” and keeping my old and adding my new name. Mostly because I like my last name and thats how people know me. But my family is so blended that I want to keep my maiden name so my daughter didn’t feel left out as the only person with the maiden name in the family. And I didn’t want to dishonor my new family and hubby by not taking it.

  2. mstoadstool Bee
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 9:15 am

    @Sabrina Mix: I bet paperwork is a pain, I did know women in Argentina do it, but didn’t know about Brazil.
    @Foxy Mama: Thank you! I think if I lives in the US I’d change it too, simply because I’d like to have the same lastname as my kids, but I can’t imagine losing my last name.
    @MoonlightRose: I like when I hear about husbands taking the wife’s name, in the modern world, it really doesn’t make sense to just have it one way. If it works for you why wouldn’t you do it? 🙂

  3. mstoadstool Bee
    mstoadstool 2485 posts, Buzzing bee @ 9:25 am

    @futureMFG: There’s really no way around it, is not like parents can pick what to put and you really can’t have just one name. Official forms always ask for both paternal and maternal lastname and you can’t make that up, it is a bit odd, but maybe because I’m used to it, it doesn’t sound that weird.
    @Mrs. Scone: Here, when there’s a single mom registering her child on her own, the child get’s the mom’s exact lastname, which is confusing because everyone will think the kid is his/her mom’s sibiling. I think it’s great you’ll give them both lastnames, because they’ll get that connection to both, instead of just one of you.
    @clumsylawyer: Yes, it’s the downside to it. Like my grandparent is still waiting for a grandson borned from a son has a kid to carry the name, so far only grandaughters or sons from daughters have had kids, so no great-grandkid has the family name as his/her first lastname.

add a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors