The Sword in My Side

I’m struggling with how to write this post. On the one hand, it has little to do with wedding planning. On the other hand, it has everything to do with my life over the next few months, which coincidentally is also when I’m doing a ton of wedding planning.

Hive, I’m feeling a bit down. Mr. Sword has been switched to a new project that starts the week after Thanksgiving. This new project is in Kansas City. Phase One is scheduled to go into the summer. Who knows what will happen after that?

The current plan is that he’ll work Monday through Friday in Kansas City and fly home to Chicago on Friday evening. We’ll have the weekends together. And I suppose they’ll even fly me there to see him sometimes. This would be a promotion of sorts, as Mr. Sword would take a position with more responsibility and this is a good career move for him because he has been sort of stagnant at his current project. (Mr. Sword is a software engineer for those inquiring.)

So I’m being flexible. I’m doing what’s best for our little family. I’m going to attempt to get used to this not living with my partner full-time thing. But I think it sucks.


4th of July 2010, visiting family in MN

He’ll be living out of a hotel most likely, working late all the time, and eating greasy, unhealthy foods. I swear the only way Mr. Sword eats any whole grain, fruit, or veg is because of me! I’m concerned he’ll be exhausted from the constant traveling (wouldn’t you get sick of it?) and I’m certain he’ll get sick of living out of a suitcase.

But Mr. Sword is up for the challenge. And I’m excited that he gets to explore another city in the US! I mean, this is the same guy who moved here from Scotland after living in Melbourne for a year. Clearly the man likes to travel!


Glasgow, Scotland 2011, the year my family went to the UK

If you’ll allow me to whine for a minute longer, I’m just really, really bummed that it’s happening right now! We are about four months away from the Big Day and he’s my number one wedding planning helper. I’m so blessed and grateful to have such an involved and supportive groom-to-be, he can’t be MIA for days at a time! I usually ask for his help on every decision because 1) It’s both of our wedding, 2) he’s smart and practical, 3) he’s got a crazy amount of opinions (in a good way)!

I know it could always be worse. What if they didn’t fly him home on weekends? What he was in the military like my good friend Fatty’s husband who is gone for six months at a time in a different country/time zone?

It’s just frustrating because we don’t have a lot of job freedom with him being here on a visa. This Kansas City thing is firing me up to get all of our paperwork filled out ASAP so we can apply for his green card the day after the wedding!

Honestly, I think I’ll be fine once it starts. I’ll be OK once we get into the swing of things. I know we can talk over Skype, and text or email all day. I know I’ll have lots of amazing girlfriends to hang out with on a regular basis and he’ll have buddies to have a beer with after work, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to start off my marriage seeing my husband two days a week.

And honestly the waiting is killing me. Oh, did I forget to mention that I found out about his new job assignment a mere three hours after my dress debacle the night before my shower over Skype? Yep, that was back in early October. As the date looms closer I find myself picking fights with him for no reason other than I’m frustrated with the situation, and I’m just constantly thinking about how cold the bed will be when he’s not there. I live in a garden apartment, and those of you who live below ground level know what I’m talking about—it’s a serious concern!

My mind wanders and I can’t help but think, “who’s going to check to make sure both doors are locked before we go to bed? Who’s going to go out late at night to fill the car with gas so I don’t have to leave the house when its super dark? Who’s going to start dinner on the nights I work late?” and “Who’s going to make me laugh when I come home in a bad mood because of something that happened on the bus?”


Miss Sword’s famous photo pose and Mr. Sword judging

Yea, I know, I’m pretty to lucky to have him. He’s the best. That’s why I’m feeling down.

(all photos personal)

Thanks for listening. I’ve heard Kansas City has great barbecue, and it’s only an hour flight away. Any other words of wisdom?


Mrs. Sword

Wedding Date:
March 2013
Ways to Stay Together
Burnin' Love: One Last Photoshoot

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  1. sword Bee
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 9:32 pm

    Wow, I’m overwhelmed and thankful for all the great advice! Thanks for being so understanding!

  2. Member
    lisalew5472 736 posts, Busy bee @ 8:10 pm

    Yep, it appears you’ve heard it all…and I completely understand! New Husband and I live 250 miles apart (I’m in the military, he works for the FAA), and he travels Mon-Thurs every week. Even if we DID live together, I’d only see him three days a week, so the weekend thing is not so bad. Besides, it won’t be forever…you have a set timeline.

    Best advice I read and that I find works is “always have the next visit planned” so that there is not a question of when you’ll see one another again. It gives you both something to look forward to!

    I read a funny thing: “Chin up and boobs out!” — Hang in there!

  3. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:48 pm

    Awww I feel so bad for you! Long distance is one of the biggest thorns in the side of any realtionship! I started my realtionship with my fiance that way and never want to go back so I know exactly how you feel! *sending lots of happy thoughts and warmth your way*

  4. Member
    wouldyoukindlyy 234 posts, Helper bee @ 11:51 am

    I swear that our men are long lost twins. He is also from Scotland, software engineer, only eats healthy when I make him and does all of the nice things for me. And is leaving for a job in the summer for 2 years 🙁

    At least you’ll get to see him on the weekends! It’ll make seeing him that much nicer.

  5. sword Bee
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:26 pm

    @wouldyoukindlyy: wow, that’s hilarious!! They are totally twins. so sorry to hear he’s leaving in the summer for a new job!

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