Mom…Dad…Mr…Mrs…?

Mr. Bee wanted to call my mom last week to wish her a happy mother’s day. But before he called, he asked me, “What should I call her? Mom? Mrs. ***?”

“Just don’t say anything at all,” I replied. This is the trick I use with Mr. Bee’s parents. It’s easy since we don’t see them often because they live abroad. But I know I can’t do that forever.

I don’t even call my parents “mom” and “dad.” I call them umma and appa – Korean for mom and dad. So I think it would be strange for my parents to suddenly be called mom or dad by Mr. Bee. In Korean culture every family member has a title – including in-laws so there is no debate about what to call them. Maybe Mr. Bee should call them by their Korean titles? (Mr. Bee is not Korean btw.)

Hmmm… I’ll have to ask my mom and dad about this.

Mr. Bee’s parents are used to being called “mom” and “dad” on the other hand, so I think it’d be only logical for me to call them that. It’s just so weird though! I don’t know if I can ever get used to it.

Are you planning on calling your in-laws mom and dad?

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Mrs. Bee

Location:
New York
Wedding Date:
March 2005
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  1. Guest Icon Guest
    Miss Caterpillar, Guest @ 10:19 pm

    Ooh, this just started a big fight between my cousin’s new wife and his parents. The ‘rents asked her to call them Mom and Dad, but she refused. She’s taken to calling them Mr. and Mrs. X now.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Case, Guest @ 10:52 pm

    I have misgivings about calling my FILs mom and dad. I don’t feel close to them. My FI only sees them twice a year. So I’m not going to call them anything until we have kids. Then, I’ll go by what my kids call them. In the meantime, I plan to avoid calling them anything.

    My FI is planning to call my parents their appropriate Chinese title for in-laws. He has a tough time pronouncing it, but he’s been practicing.

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    BTang, Guest @ 11:17 pm

    how funny. i’m not married, just engaged, and i’ve been calling my fiance’s parents “mom” and “dad” since the formal engagement announcements. they preffer it that way also. a good relationship with his parent’s pretty important to me.

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    kp, Guest @ 4:28 pm

    i agree with isabella –
    i answered “yes” to the survey in reference to calling my FIL “ahbunneem” & “umuhneem” – the respectful version of “dad” & “mom” in korean~

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    ncmz, Guest @ 8:15 pm

    Well, we are high school sweethearts and I still call them Mr. and Mrs. and I will calling them that even after w-day.
    Same for my fiance who calls my parents Mr. and Mrs.
    I do not want anyone else calling my mom “mom”. She is my mom and there is only one. Definetely not my mother in law! LOL!

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    Jenny, Guest @ 11:08 pm

    That is a very interesting topic you touched upon. I am a Korean girl myself dating someone who is not Korean for the first time. Did your parents have a hard time initially with that fact of different races/nationalities? I wouldn’t be worrying except that this relationship is starting to get a bit serious. To add to that, he is also much older than I am!

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    alina, Guest @ 1:07 am

    Me being Korean and my bf being white…it was WEIRD to call his parents by their first name…I’m used to now calling his mother by her name, but the dad still intimidates me :X

    I don’t think though that I’ll be able to call them “mom & dad” and I know the BF will never be able to say jangmo and jangeen hah…

  8. Guest Icon Guest
    Riona, Guest @ 1:13 pm

    My FFIL invited me to call him Dad. I don’t call my own father Dad. I explained that I was honoured but that it would feel strange to me, and probably extremely weird for my own father. He was surprised – but really, I don’t think I could. Ever.

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