Nervous and Excited?

“The big day is coming up! Are you nervous? Excited?”

At least once a day, if not multiple times in the same elevator ride, I am told the wedding is really close and asked about my emotional status. At first, I was so happy that people remembered and were kind enough to ask. I would nod enthusiastically or say that I was ready for it all to be over – which both seemed to be socially acceptable replies. Then I started to really think about how I felt, and those feelings have just grown stronger the past few days.

I’m sad. Even as I’m getting married and it’s a happy occasion, it also means that I’m moving to a different state and leaving behind a pretty nice life that I’ve invested in a lot over the past two years. I’m leaving good friends, a church that has ministered to me, an office that makes going to work fun. I’m leaving my running route and the footbridge. I’m leaving the familiar. This has been a more difficult process than I anticipated.

I’m sober. Some would call this nervous or tentative, but what I’ve really been feeling is sober about the weight of my decision to get married and all of its implications.

I’m pledging to marry another human. To care for him when I don’t feel like it, to love him when it’s hard, to sacrifice and compromise for the good of us as a couple. This is big and weighty – but also good, and I feel ready.

I’m tired. We’ve been planning the wedding for a year. The Lambster has moved twice. I’ve moved once and have a move coming up. We’ve bought a house. I graduated from graduate school. My woolly counterpart started graduate school. There have been some family health issues recently. I feel like I could sleep for a week.

I’m glad. I’m looking forward to the dust settling, when I wake up sometime about two months from now. When I wake up, I’ll see my husband. We’ll drink some coffee. He’ll go to school. I’ll go to work. Later, I’ll tell him about my day. Then I’ll read in bed. He’ll turn off the lights when he’s finished with homework. So, yes, I’m excited, but not necessarily for the wedding. I’m excited for my marriage to begin.

You can’t quite fit all of that into an elevator conversation, so I’ve been sorting these emotions out by talking to my wonderful friends. I’m not sure what I thought I would feel, but some of these have taken me by surprise.

As you approach your wedding day, have any emotions been a surprise to you? Are you nervous? excited?


Mrs. Lamb

Wedding Date:
January 2010
Ornamental Wedding Inspiration
Sometimes I Embarrass Myself.

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  1. Member
    pvaulter718 2116 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:01 am

    It must be hard to have so much happy and sad bouncing around your head and heart all at once! I was able to just move 2 blocks, and keep my same job and I was still an emotional rollercoaster. Moving out of my parent’s house and into “our” house was a tear-filled day. I hadn’t anticipated how sad and overwhelming it would be to really close that door to what had been 22 years of my life. For a long time, I kept it all inside because I didn’t want my Mister to think I wasn’t looking forward to living with him, getting married, and starting a life together. But it was good to open up to him, to talk to him, and learn he had many of the same emotions.

  2. frenchfries Bee
    frenchfries 2168 posts, Buzzing bee @ 10:33 am

    Very eloquently said. I’ve had some (or all) of those feelings throughout this process. I’m definitely ready for the marriage part of this whole thing!

  3. pretzel Bee
    pretzel 670 posts, Busy bee @ 11:27 am

    Lamb- I heart you! You are so right and sober is a wonderful description.

  4. Member
    kayakgirl73 2593 posts, Sugar bee @ 4:10 pm

    I felt this also. I sold my condo that I had bought on my own and moved into his after the wedding I had to change states. I only live 40 minutes from my old area but in metro DC that’s a lot. At least I kept my job as it was downtown and I moved from one suburb to another.

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    cocker spaniel, Guest @ 11:26 am

    I’m so happy to see others feel the same way I do. I’m WAY excited about my wedding and marriage, but I get sad knowing I am leaving me family and friends. I know I can always come and visit, but that isn’t the same when you are use to calling someone up at the last minute for dinner just to chat. I’m nervous about finding a new job, new friends, and a new life. I know everything will work out, but I can’t help but be sad of the life I’m leaving behind.

  6. cardigan Bee
    cardigan 8645 posts, Bumble Beekeeper @ 9:12 pm

    That’s such a great way to put it. We’re still far away enough from the wedding that I’m not getting a lot of those questions, but I love your honesty when explaining the mixed emotions!

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