Proper etiquette dictates that we never talk publicly about touchy topics like money, religion, sex, or politics. Well, I’m about to break those silly rules and talk about one of the aforementioned. (Side note: When in high school, I always used aforementioned once in each paper to give it that extra oomph. Feel free to use this tip when writing. You’re welcome. )
So anyway, Mr. PB and I were recently at a wedding where the groom was Jewish and the bride a Christian. The ceremony was great, a perfect blend of the two religions. (The reception was pretty awesome too, but that’s not the point of this post.)
At dinner, Mr. PB and I sat with four men and two women. The men knew each other; their mothers are best friends. They were chatting about Yom Kippur and how long Passover dinner at each other’s houses is, and Mr. PB and I followed along. In the middle of the conversation, the girlfriend of one of the guys looked to Mr. PB and me and said, “Are you Jewish?” I shook my head no, and she quickly followed it with “Oh, then you’re Catholic?” I had to shake my head no again because we’re not. My answer? “We’re nothing.”
So there you have it—Mr. PB and I are nothing. Well, we’re not nothing, but we’re nothing that is easily defined. We’re not Jewish, we’re not Catholic, we’re not Muslim, we’re not Buddhist, nor any other mainstream religion, for that matter. We may be able to be labeled as spiritual, but everyone even has their own perception as to what that means. We both believe in a higher power, we both have morals, and we both are open and accepting to others, regardless of religion, race, or any other check box on a census form. We are who we are, no regrets or apologies.
What does this mean for our wedding? We don’t have specific traditions to follow or a personal church to get married in. (I love hearing stories of a personal church, but that isn’t in the cards for us.) It means that we need a ceremony space that is non-denominational. It means that we will truly be able to craft a ceremony that is totally us, no rules or regulations to follow. It also means that we have free rein over selecting our officiant. We could go with a local professional but, instead, we have decided to go with a family member.
Aunt M, a maternal aunt of mine, has always been a positive voice throughout my life, very enlightening and inspiring. She’s super crafty and creative, a strong female who tackles challenges head on and learns from them, rather than wallowing in the pain some bumps cause. Aunt M is a voice of reason and a person who has shaped who I am. I suggested to Mr. PB early on that we ask her to be ordained and that she officiate the wedding. He was on board and, thankfully, Aunt M fully embraced the idea. I am very excited that she will be the voice of our wedding.
She will be getting ordained through the Universal Life Church Monastery. For our area, that’s pretty much all she needs to do, but the monastery has a resource page on its site about different state laws regarding officiating weddings. Be sure to check that if you decide to go that route as well.
Has anyone else been to a wedding were two religions were blended to perfection? Who out there decided to have a family member officiate their ceremony?