Rounding Out the Wedding Party

At some point after I asked my favorite girls to be a part of my bridal party, Mr. Tractor asked his groomsmen. He asked them each in person—he wouldn’t let me come, but I assume there were man hugs and pats on the back and lots of “bros” and “dudes.” To cancel out the man hugs, he also gave them each a bottle of alcohol. By the time it was all over, the total number of man hugs given equaled five. Five handsome gentlemen who are wonderful friends to both Mr. T and me will stand up with him when we get married. Now, if you remember carefully, I have three lovely ladies on my side.

If you know anything about me by now, you know that I am all for bucking tradition. If I was to share wedding-planning words of wisdom with a newly engaged friend, I would say, “Do what’s important to you, leave out the things that aren’t, and don’t do anything because ‘that’s what you do at a wedding.'” But my inner stage manager was telling me that things would look better if we had equal numbers on each side. And my inner emotional sap was telling me there were two very important people who had been left out of my bridal party.


Mrs. Avocado and her bridesman / Photo by Kelli Nicole

And that was how I ended up with two bridesmen. My very good friend from high school, Bridesman J, as well as my younger brother E, agreed to join my lovely ladies on my side of the wedding party. Of all of our nontraditional wedding decisions, this one seems to get the biggest reaction, usually from older family members.

Mrs. Apple Cider’s bridal party included a bridesman! / Photo by Anna Naphtali

The question people seem to love asking about our unconventional wedding party is, “But will they walk down the aisle together??” The short answer is no. But not because they are both men—it is because I think that forcing your friends to walk down the aisle arm-in-arm with someone they have potentially never met before is, frankly, a little weird. And for us, it falls into the aforementioned category of one of those things a lot of people do because “that’s what you do at a wedding.” More than likely, the members of our wedding party will each be walking down the aisle alone, and joining the rest of the “party people” at the altar.


Mr. and Mrs. Treasure’s mixed up wedding party / Photo by Andrew Collings

Creating our unconventional wedding party was another one of those things that reading a lot of Weddingbee empowered me to do. Here are some posts by other bee bloggers that might help you find an arrangement that works for you! Miss Narwhal and Mrs. Crab each spoke about their modern wedding parties here and here. Mrs. Eagle and her wife each had one bridesmaid and one bridesman, and Mrs. Kettle spoke about the struggles of explaining her “bridal attendants” to family members.

Who did you include in your wedding party?


Mrs. Tractor

Boston, MA
Gallery of the Day: February 18, 2015
Total Re-Collie: We Arrive
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  1. mscoral Bee
    Mrs. Coral 380 posts, Helper bee @ 8:10 am

    i soooo agree about walking down the aisle with a stranger. i think its so awkward! love the bridesmen though.

  2. msnarwhalbee Bee
    Mrs. Narwhal 87 posts, Worker bee @ 8:20 am

    I’m in a wedding this summer and I’m so glad I know the Best man, because I don’t know the rest of them, and one of them I had a terrible terrible blind date with! haha!! That would have been awkward!! I’m also a big fan of everyone just walking out, they don’t need to slowly walk together!

    This seems to be one of the biggest growing trends in wedding parties, and it just makes sense to me. I want my people to be with ME!! Sure, my boys are close with Mr. Narwhal, but they’re close with him, because they’re my family.

    It’s too funny how many people just don’t understand or get why you have men standing up with the bride.

    Are you going to talk about how you’re going to dress the boys? That seems to be the biggest question I get now that people have accepted it!

  3. msbordercollie Bee
    Mrs. Border Collie 102 posts, Blushing bee @ 8:28 am

    “it is because I think that forcing your friends to walk down the aisle arm-in-arm with someone they have potentially never met before is, frankly, a little weird” BEST LINE EVER!! haha. Love this post. With your wedding, you definitely have to do what is right for you.

  4. mscrab Bee
    Mrs. Crab 60 posts, Worker bee @ 11:00 am

    YAY! I love to see couples staying true to themselves even when it means bucking tradition! So many man hugs – lol! FWIW, we had dudes walk out of the ceremony (and into the reception) side by side and it wasn’t weird AT ALL!

  5. pyramid Bee
    Mrs. Pyramid 104 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:02 pm

    haha whoops, I made our bridal party get a little weird, then. But, I returned the weird favor for one bridesmaid a few weeks later, so I guess I’m even with her. Glad you’re able to include everybody you wanted to! Definitely love the “don’t do it just because you’re supposed to” mindset!

  6. Member
    wvkc 774 posts, Busy bee @ 1:10 pm

    Love the bridesmen! I’m also including a bridesman in my wedding party and if one more person asks me if he is going to wear a dress, I’m not going to be able to hold my tongue. My answer so far has been “He’s a grown person, he can wear what he likes. I’ve never been one to assign clothing to gender..thanks”

  7. mssquid Bee
    Mrs. Squid 49 posts, Newbee @ 6:57 am

    I’m really happy to see mixed bridal parties becoming a popular trend! And you’re absolutely right, staying true to yourselves while planning a wedding no matter what tradition says is the easiest way to put together a ceremony and reception that are unique and reflective of you as a couple.

  8. Guest Icon Guest
    Donna, Guest @ 12:24 pm

    My fiance’s two “groomesmen” are women, so, he will be standing up with 5 women at the alter. I’m sure there will be some raised brows, but, who cares.

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