Sewing-Dad: “But you know, he can’t carry you across the threshold…”
Me: “Shaddduppp, Dad.”
Love comes in all shapes and sizes. I know that firsthand, seeing as I am both two inches taller and several inches wider than my husband-to-be.
When we first started dating, I was extremely self-conscious. We didn’t look like the ideal “couple” (taller, larger man and smaller woman), and it was hard to break from my depressing self-image. But time wore on, and I stopped thinking about our spatial differences. Mr. Sew was Mr. Sew and Miss Sew was Miss Sew and silly things like weight and size didn’t matter.
Until this (and I can’t believe I’m posting this…):
Suddenly, I swam back to the shallow end. The giant arm, the large pink-purple body, the fact that poor Mr. Sewing can’t even get his arm across my waist…
“Omigoooshhhh I CANNOT be the giant white whale in all our wedding pictures!” I started groaning and squealing about several thousand dollars worth of lifetime whale reminders, while Mr. Sewing poked repeatedly at my rolly stummy. Not helpful!
Well, a few things happened after that initial freak-out:
- I calmed down. I am not a whale, I just look like one compared to Mr. Sew. If he were the standard of normal-sized, well, I’d literally have to weigh less than 90 pounds.
- I decided to start a wellness-regimen. Diet and exercise.
- I researched.
Truly, honestly, folks. Cameras can make you look bigger than you actually are. And they can also make you smaller, if you play your cards right.
And to pictorially prove my point, here’s some fun perspective tricks to try out:
A) High-in-the-Sky (for bigger bottoms)
For more emphasis on your top half, and less on the stomach and bottom. Also works like a charm for removing the multiple chin effect. And I just love shots of the bride and groom looking up towards the glorious future!
B) Down-to-the-Low (for bigger tops)
This one is a bit riskier, but if you are triangle shaped like I am, it could help make the hips look larger and the shoulders look smaller.
You’ve all seen it done on red-carpets and cat-walks—lift that arm! Any arm pressed flat against the skin is going to appear larger, no matter how muscular they might be before hand.
Got something to hide? Whether it be extra width, or the dreaded wedding-dress stain, use your man to cover it up!
D) Stand Behind Your Man
A simple rule of perspective – things further away look smaller. Why not stand a foot or so behind everyone else? But be careful with this one. Too much difference and you might become too small for it to look natural!
Turn sideways a little. Again, a catwalk and red-carpet pose. Don’t face the camera head-on. And don’t slouch.
Use some stairs to fix a height difference. Or sit down, where you’re more likely to be eye-to-eye. And if that fails, try the down-on-the-floor shot. (In a clean place; don’t ruin the dress!)
When all else fails, Photoshop! Creative cropping can cut a flabby arm straight out of the picture. Or if you’re really good, you can blur or paint unwanted areas away for good! Though unfortunately, I think this particular picture may be a bit more work than its worth.
Now, I know I’ll be happy even if I do end up looking a bit whalish, but it doesn’t hurt to have the camera work in my favor, right? That said, now on the list of things to ask potential photgraphers –
“What techniques do you use to minimize size differences between bride and groom?”
Anyone else getting the picture-squeamies? What are your tips and tricks for getting the best possible shot?