On Not Loving My Dress…

Excuse me a moment. hive:


Oh hive, do you remember my dress inspiration?


Alcanar by Pronovias

The thing I LOVED about this dress was the layers and layers of tulle. I dreamed about that flowy tulle.

Well, if you remember, I trusted a local seamstress to make my dress. I saw it evolve through my appointments, pinpointing things I didn’t like, feeling pushy and bratty every time I pointed something or asked her to change something.

Three weeks ago I had a dress fitting. I left Marisol’s shop feeling very sad. I was so sad I didn’t feel like blogging about it. The thing is, I didn’t love my dress. It was nice, it was unfinished but I could tell it was going to be very beautiful, but I didn’t see that sea of tulle I was dreaming about. I didn’t see my dream dress.

Being fair, it was part my fault. I was not specific enough. My seamstress asked specifically if I wanted four layers of tulle and I said yes and didn’t say anything about it in the first appointment. Silly girl, I know, but the thing is I felt bratty and high-maintenance when I pointing at something specific, which is ridiculous since I’m paying for this.

I spent the next two weeks dreading my next appointment, thinking about getting married in a less-than-dreamy dress, and thinking in a decade I wouldn’t look back to my wedding day and think I looked gorgeous.


by Ana Von Rebeur via Lifepulp

How lame is that, hive? I write that now and I feel ridiculous. I liked the dress, why would I have to LOVE it? As Miss Sword said just weeks ago, why do we feel pressured to love our wedding dress? Isn’t it enough that we like it? Isn’t it enough that we think it’s beautiful and we look great on it? And I looked great in it, hive. It gives me a fabulous waistline I didn’t know was possible.

So, after days of pathetic sulking (so pathetic I’m glad I didn’t talk about it with anyone else), I realized it didn’t matter, the dress is beautiful and it looks great on me (you’ll have to take my word for it, or at least play along). Mr. Toadstool won’t care it’s not a flowy ball gown (he doesn’t even know what a ball gown is), and our guests will not know it is not my exact dream dress.

So now my dress is an almost-A-line gown and it’s BEAUTIFUL.

Did you have any dress regret? Did you end up with a dress that was not your “dream dress”?


Mrs. Toadstool

Obregon, Mexico
Wedding Date:
December 2012
A Thimble of My Love: Ceremony Details
How Wonderful Life Is: Mangia, Mangia!

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  1. mstreasure Bee
    mstreasure 1655 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:37 am

    I never had that “I’m in love!” feeling with my dress either. On the wedding day, it wasn’t particularly comfortable, either. If I could go back in time and change one thing, it’d be my dress. But you know what, it looks pretty in the pictures and everyone said they loved it. Every bride is beautiful, and you will be, too.

  2. sword Bee
    sword 1029 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:39 am

    you look amazing girl!! I think we’ll fall in love with our dresses eventually! Thanks for sharing your point of view on this topic as well!

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    AT, Guest @ 8:55 am

    I think it looks really pretty! But I say, as long as you have time, keep tweaking until you get it as close to your vision as possible. Remember, you are not a bridezilla, you are a customer, and you should respectfully advocate to get what you desire!

    Possible quick fix–Is there anyway that you can add another crinoline skirt underneath? I wore one but I kinda wish I had work two… If there is enough skirt to handle it….that might get you the desired shape without alterations! I would just bring a couple to your next appt!

  4. mswallaby Bee
    mswallaby 2070 posts, Buzzing bee @ 11:28 am

    I love it, and you look great girl!!!! Don’t worry about wearing your “dream dress” – I think very few brides out there actuall get to wear their dream dress to their wedding. I was in love with Claire Pettibone’s Chantilly dress, but that was $6000 I could not afford to spend. I found another, much cheaper dress that I loved, and Mr. w loved it too. I think you look gorgeous and you’re going to look like a dream on your wedding day 🙂

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    Sylverbean, Guest @ 11:28 am


    I am not a member of Weddingbee. I stumbled upon this site by accident. I have loved Miss Toadstools’ postings and have followed along.

    I am a professional steamstress, daughter, mother, grandmother (two little future brides) and a future mother of the groom (June 1st) That is how I found this site.

    As being all of the previous…you should have the dress YOU want. The seamstress should have looked at the picture and questioned you thoroughly about your wants! You and her should be willing to make it work toward what you want. Yes, a petticoat, yes a birdcage, yes, yes… But it is YOUR day and the dress should be what you want. It should feel right of you.

    Go back to the seamstress…yes, she is busy. No you are not be a problem you paid for her to create the dress you wanted. And ask her what the two of you can work out to add extra layers of tulle. As a seamstress, and this is just looking at the two dress views, additional tulle will be a minor challenge but it is do able. The issue would be being able to get the correct amount of tulle (and the money issue which adding undergarments could cost the same amount).

    One of the problems I had as a seamstress was the view of garment and what people wanted to “look” like in the garment. They wanted to look like the model on the front. This is not the problem here. You have a dress that you want to look like the dress. You are not expecting to look like a model. So there is no reason the dress should not look like your dress. You are not expecting to look thinner or taller.

    Ask her. At least you will have tried. If she can not do it ask if she know some one that can. I am sorry that I am not there to do it for you.

  6. Member
    ChicagoDreamer 509 posts, Busy bee @ 5:49 pm

    I think it looks lovely, even if its not exactly what you envisioned.

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    Ms Kit, Guest @ 5:18 am

    Seamtress here – your crinoline is not enough. You need a hoop or birdcage like a couple ladies said. They’re not difficult to move in or heavy if you get nice ones, unlike layering tons of crinolines or even tons of tulle. I think you should ask your seamstress if there’s anything more that she can do, but undergarments are a huge part of the structure for dramatic dresses. Hoops, bustles, etc., were originally considered health tools for beating the weight added through too much fabric.

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