We just passed the four month mark before the big day. It is making me a little nervous, because for some reason, three months until the wedding seems a lot closer than four. Last week I looked at our timeline and realized that our unfinished guest list is staring me in the face. My hesitancy to produce the final list has come as a result of some decision-making issues. Let me explain. Beyond our list of definite invites, there is a group of “indefinites” (for lack of a better word). These are friends we were once close to, yet, we have drifted apart from either physically or emotionally: childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, and friends from old jobs. Well, you get the picture. We are on the fence about inviting many of these people. On the one hand, they have been significant people to us at certain times in our lives. On the other hand, these are not people that we interact with every day. A friendly note via Facebook, an email, or running into them at a social gathering is just about the extent of our communication.
Where do you draw the line as to which friends get an invite and which don’t? We have some room on our guest list. Not a lot, but some. I feel conflicted because several of my future in-laws’ friends will probably get an invite (don’t get me started on this subject), and we barely know a lot of them. So why then, should we fail to consider old friends?
The flip side of this is that maybe some of the indefinites don’t even want to attend our wedding. I’m a realist. I understand that not everyone is banging down the door to get into our wedding, especially those we haven’t seen in a while. I don’t want to put them in an awkward situation where they are like, “Hmmm, if we say “yes”, does that mean we have to dole out money for a gift for these people?” (Okay, I hope no one says that. But you never know…)
Do you have any indefinites on your list? Also, if an old or distant friend has invited you to their wedding, did you find yourself (a) happy and honored to get the invite, or (b) uncomfortable that you were invited and searching for any excuse to get out of it?