Post-Wedding Emotions

OK, so before I even start this post, a disclaimer: I am REALLY happy being married to Wolfman.

OK, now that’s out of the way: I wanted to write an honest post and say that the first few weeks post-wedding were kind of tough for me. This really surprised me. For a while before the wedding, I was telling people I was going to be sort of relieved when it was over; I even posted here about it, and completely sympathized with Mrs. Armadillo’s post on wedding burnout.

The Sunday after our wedding, we checked out of our hotel and cabbed home (again, making me so thankful we planned a wedding close to home). I had decided that my first post-wedding meal would be chili nachos from Hard Times, so I walked next door, picked up food, and on the way home I had this moment of such happiness that it almost brought tears to my eyes. I was married, and just the small task of picking up lunch for my husband and me seemed significant. (It also isn’t lost on me that the moment that I almost wept with joy is directly associated with processed cheese and salty chips, but let’s pretend that wasn’t a factor.)


One of each, please.

But once I returned home, my mom and coordinator dropped off all of our stuff, we said a few last goodbyes”¦and then that was it. There were no more wedding tasks, nothing else to pick up, no one else was visiting or coming over. We still had to pack for our honeymoon and watch Beyonce at the Superbowl, which distracted me a little, but those first few days in Rome I was seriously bumming that it was all over with.

I was so mad at myself—why did I spend the last few weeks wishing for it to be over with? I wasn’t really nitpicking on anything that happened during the wedding—for the most part, everything went smoothly and only a few things were missed. I’m not sure there was a solution. No matter what, the night would have raced by, and like I said, I wasn’t wishing for a different experience. I didn’t miss planning or the constant to-do lists, and I loved all the new stuff that came with having a husband. It was almost as if—and this is going to sound weird, but I think you guys will understand—the wedding was a friendship I had been cultivating for a long time, and all of a sudden I was never going to see that friend again.

Over time, this feeling wore away. Getting our pictures helped a lot—I completely underestimated the value of the photos as a way to relive the night. It also helped to see a lot of our wedding guests again, in regular contexts. I put a lot of retrospective pressure on myself that our wedding night not only be perfect for us, but also perfect for our friends. I needed reminding that we can see our friends again. So silly!

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read): 1) I worked hard on our wedding, 2) it paid off and totally rocked, and 3) it was a little difficult (at first) for me to look back and be satisfied instead of looking back and just wanting to do it all over again.

I’m curious to hear how everyone else felt in the days/weeks immediately following the wedding. It’s such a weird feeling when “the happiest day of your life” happens—and lives up to the hype!—and then it ends. What mixture of emotions did you feel? Were you surprised?

(Also, this clearly isn’t my last post. No way would I end on sort of a downer, and you’re not rid of me yet!)


Mrs. Gray Wolf

Washington DC
Wedding Date:
February 2013
The Buzz: What Was Your Biggest Wedding Splurge?
Classifieds: September 20, 2013
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  1. camel Bee
    camel 703 posts, Busy bee @ 8:04 am

    I was really bummed out the day after our wedding. I spent most of the afternoon crying — which is why I’m so glad we left immediately for our honeymoon. By the time we got home, I was ready to be back and live stress free for a while. I didn’t miss the wedding at all.

    Even so, there’s always those little details from the wedding that nag you even weeks or months afterwards. Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell our photographer to get a few extra photos here or there — but at the end of the day, we just have to accept what was. I think your analogy of the wedding as a friendship is very accurate!

  2. mswaterfall Bee
    Mrs. Waterfall 1403 posts, Bumble bee @ 12:47 pm

    I was telling Mr. Waterfall just yesterday that I have phantom limb pain, but for the wedding. It’s like I have this nagging feeling like there is something I’m overlooking, something I’m supposed to be doing or planning… I guess it takes some getting used to after months of spending so much time planning for the wedding day!
    Glad to know it gets better!

  3. mspalmtree Bee
    Mrs. Palm Tree 1122 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:35 am

    I totally identify with this – it’s so bittersweet when it’s all over and looking at pictures or reliving moments makes my heart just a little heavy. It’s just a sign of success, though, right?

  4. Member
    daniellekira 573 posts, Busy bee @ 1:18 pm

    I felt the same way. I still kind of do after 5 weeks. But I finally get to go on my honeymoon starting this weekend and still have our pictures to come. I did go to a friend’s wedding this weekend and it made me want my wedding day all over again. I also hope it passes because I had the same feelings as you did.

  5. Member
    missgemini 620 posts, Busy bee @ 9:13 pm

    I finally admitted to myself and my friends this week that I’ve had the post-wedding blues. I feel so totally guilty for it, because our day was so magical and I’m SOO happy to be married. I should just be grateful, but I have so many mixed emotions and have been obsessing over things I didn’t get to do on the day. I’m so glad I found this post and now I understand it’s just a typical part of the process. Another thing I’m pretty embarrassed about is how much I miss all of the attention! I can see why many newlyweds get baby-fever right out of the gate. I’ve been desperately trying to push down those feelings and focus on other things but it’s been incredibly hard!

  6. graywolf Bee
    graywolf 725 posts, Busy bee @ 7:06 am

    @MissGemini: totally don’t feel bad! there’s no right way to feel after something like a wedding. truly, it’s one of few life events that happens and is over like that…other things – job changes, moves, babies – start and then go on every day. it’s definitely a weird thing!

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