Hey, hive! I have an announcement to make!
That’s right! I’m PREGNANT! Just kidding. I got a haircut. Equally important news though. This is only tangentially wedding related, but I just had to post about it for reasons you’ll discover further down.
Throughout my life I’ve vacillated between long hair and short hair. I love dramatic haircuts, like Mrs. Mink, and I also am just too lazy to get my ass to a hair salon more than biennially. Once in high school a girl said to me, “I love your haircut!! Did you donate it?” And I was forced to say, “Um…no, actually. My hair was just dropped to the floor, swept aside and thrown out with the trash. But thanks for making me feel like an asshole.”
So that’s why, for the past six years, I’ve been growing my hair long, cutting it short, and donating my ponytails. I don’t think I’m God’s gift to kids with cancer or anything—I realize donating time, money, or blood would be far more helpful, but I do it because I’d be getting my hair cut anyway (and there’s no way I’m ever voluntarily having needles poked into me. Sorry).
Unfortunately, it appears that I have a bit of a Benjamin Buttons situation going on, and I actually look younger than ever now. What. The. Hell.
So why is this wedding related? Isn’t it a bit late for me to be posting about a PWC? Firstly, Mr. Unicycle asked me if I’d be blogging about my haircut. I told him no, probably not.
He said, “You’re not going to write a post about your Post-Wedding Chop?”
And I said “How the hell did you know it was called that??”
And he said, “There’s actually a name for it? I just made that up.”
I said, “Of course there’s a name for it. There’s an acronym for it too—PWC—which you probably could have guessed as well.”
Additionally, like many bees, I bought a signature wedding scent to wear on my wedding day. I started scouting for it last November and fell in love with Versace Bright Crystal. Seriously, this stuff smells like…the best smell ever. I can’t even compare it to anything. I recommend taking a big whiff next time you’re in a department store.
Image via Sephora
Anyway, I cheaped out and bought it from one of those discount perfume stores in the mall where you have to haggle for the price. I’m a classy lady. Because of this, I’m pretty sure my bottle must be watered down because, despite dousing myself with it on my wedding day, I didn’t smell it at all the whole day, and neither did Mr. Unicycle. So now when I smell this perfume, instead of being brought back to our SPECIAL DAY, I am inexplicably reminded of the day I went to the mall and haggled with a greasy salesman.
The scent that surprisingly does bring me back to our wedding day is the hairspray they use at Aveda salons! I had my updo done by an Aveda stylist, and I had my most recent haircut done at the Aveda Institute in Milwaukee (I highly recommend it, especially if you’re cheap). I left the appointment smiling to myself as I was transported back to my wedding day. I asked Mr. Unicycle what the smell reminded him of, thinking he’d get a dreamy look in his eyes and say, “The day we promised to love each other forever…” or some crap. Instead he coughed and said, “Ughh that’s that sick hairspray they used on you at the wedding!” He’s a true romantic.
Are you getting a PWC? What about a signature scent?