What’s Step One?

I was originally going to write this post about finding the first step of wedding planning. But”¦it makes more sense to start with what’s actually step zero of wedding planning—getting engaged!

I’m almost positive that every girl has dreamed at least once about the perfect proposal. If you haven’t, then you clearly haven’t been on Pinterest. Like many women, I too once sighed and dreamed about how amazing my proposal might be. I even went so far as to daydream about Mr. Whale booking a secret photographer to take pictures of the proposal.


Have you ever seen something so disgustingly cute? (Image from Marry This! / Image by Shay Stephens)

But of course, I didn’t fall in love with the type of guy who would think of doing such a thing. I fell in love with a guy who is so bad at planning that he consistently runs out of breakfast cereal, because even after 30-plus years of eating breakfast, he can’t figure out how much cereal he’s going to go through in a week. And he’s supposed to plan a romantic proposal? Not a chance.

Knowing how hilariously bad at planning he is, I knew I had to make some compromises with respect to our engagement. For at least a year, I knew that the proposal was coming eventually. We had discussed marriage in that giddy “I know you’re the one but it’s not official yet” way for a while. But I was pretty sure that unless I let him know that it didn’t have to be a big event, he would just never get around to doing it.

What worried me the most was the ring. That ring is a BIG part of the proposal planning process (accidental alliteration, anyone?). I had two desires for my engagement. I wanted a beautiful ring (duh). But simultaneously, I wanted to be surprised by the proposal. (It’s so hard to surprise me. I figure it out EVERY time, even when I’m not trying.) I wanted my face to look like this when he proposed.


Image from Mom Gets a Life / Image by CBS Entertainment

So I definitely did not want to go ring shopping and then know that a proposal would be coming soon, because the surprise would be ruined. And so, I eventually just had to make a compromise in my mind. I decided that I didn’t need a ring for the proposal to be special.

That did the trick! I wasn’t stressed out about what ring he would pick (or whether we would ever get married). And he wasn’t stressed about trying to plan some super-special proposal! And he proposed!! Yay! (More on that next time.)

Did anyone else have a ringless proposal? Was it still wonderful?


Mrs. Blue Whale

College Park, MD
Wedding Date:
May 2013
Pretty Little Wedding Shoes
The Beanstalks Are Married!

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  1. Member
    bretonvirgniia 1656 posts, Bumble bee @ 11:48 am

    I had a ringless proposal in St Lucia. My hubby was planning to let me pick one out in St Lucia (I didn’t find one at a reasonable price and the lady was trying to scam us :s) When we got back to Toronto we went ring shopping together the next day and he and I went and bought one. He re-proposed to me at the Eatons centre so he could put the ring on my finger properly 🙂

  2. Member
    jacofblues 1468 posts, Bumble bee @ 10:54 pm

    Awwww thats so good that you came to terms with it all! I love how you made two alliterations there 😉

  3. msdragon Bee
    Mrs. Dragon 814 posts, Busy bee @ 11:44 am

    Ours was a ringless proposal! Mr. D ran out of time before we went on our road trip during which he proposed — he technically had two gift shop rings that didn’t fit, though, and a $30 amber ring we bought the next day, but it took a month or so to get my ‘real’ ring.

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