I think the alterations business at the salon from which I purchased my dress is somewhat of… an absolute and total racket (and is probably the case at plenty of other places as well).
(Marlon, I know you were kinda.. .out there by the end, but I saw you in On the Waterfront, and you were sexy as hell—is that wrong?)
You searched for your dress. You found it. You’re excited. However many months later, you go in for a fitting. You get all pinned and tucked, look at yourself admiringly from various angles, etc.
(Just look at me! just look at my ass! It’s in there somewhere, that little pancake of a tush)
Woohoo! Happy day! Yes? No. Then they slap down the alterations bill in front of you. Am I right, Miss Trail Mix??
My dress bodice didn’t need to be taken in. Yeah, sweet, right? I thought for sure my alterations wouldn’t be that expensive since the dress didn’t need to be taken in.
For: (1) hemming; (2) bustle; and (3) adding my beloved halter strap, the salon was going to charge me… $510. Come again? For the hemming alone, it was $275. That’s just for the *front* of the dress, people—the back doesn’t get hemmed because it’s a *train*. $275?? Bite me.
I hemmed (pun! pun!) and hawed, and went through two consultants in my attempts to negotiate before they called over the owner. She said I should consider the halter strap as a “restyling”, and separate from the hemming and bustle, which fell into the “alterations” category.
(love ya, Joe)
Um, do I look stupid to you? You mean, let me understand this ’cause, ya know maybe it’s me, but you think I’m stupid? Is that what I’m here for? To think that a halter strap ain’t an “alteration”? That I can’t add one plus one and know I’m still payin’ $510? So I seem stupid to you, huh? Cuz I can’t think of any other reason why you’d try to plow that BS down my throat, lady.
Hardly anybody buys or rejects their dress based on what the selling salon will charge for alterations. It’s just not the focus at the time of buying the dress. After that, for ease and a sense of security, purchasing brides are somewhat of a captive audience.
But $510? Even the bridal salon staff admitted that I could get the alterations cheaper elsewhere. I know of an alterations shop near my apartment that has a good reputation and specializes in bridal gowns, so that’s where I’ll be heading.
The salon was very gracious, telling me that if for whatever reason I wanted to, I could absolutely bring the dress back for alterations. I thanked everyone profusely for their time, and hauled my dress out of there, vowing never to return unless they mentioned something about a dead horse’s head in my bed or sleeping with fishes.
And there it is, lying like a mummy on top of my dining table (and see the laptop in the pic? I am your slave, hive).
Now I have my dress. And… yeah.
Anyone else experience sticker shock in regard to alterations?
*RICO is an anti-racketeering/organized crime law. As a lawyer, I forget whether things like this are common knowledge.