I am going to take a break from the inspiration posts to talk about something a bit controversial. I actually had a dream about this last night, so I need to get this off my chest.
I think we’ve all heard the phrase “relationships are about sacrifice.” While relationships are all also about love, trust, loyalty, forgiveness, I believe there is a certain amount we must sacrifice for our darlings. Mr. Glasses is the ultimate example. He is making a HUGE sacrifice to be with me. He is giving up his home country and all the familiarity and comfort that comes with it to move to big, terrifying America (my words, not his). He can only see his family once in a while. That would be a big one for me because I’m very close to my mother and father.
Mr. G’s sacrifice is so big, I thought, what about me? What kind of sacrifices am I making?
Well, I’m young, see. At the tender age of 24, I’ve got a lot of options. When I first left for Japan, I thought it would be a one-year stint. I wanted to learn more about my culture, have some fun, improve my Japanese, live in a different country for a while, and earn some valuable and rewarding work experience. After Japan I thought I’d take that experience and go on to teach in Korea, Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, etc. Teach a year everywhere and really experience what the world was like. In the end, I’d go on a massive backpacking trip for a couple of months, end up in India or Russia, and then come home a well-traveled and worldly woman.
It’s been almost three years here, and I have only been on a three-day vacation to Korea. My independent, fierce, adventurous thirst has not been quenched. But I would not, would not trade what I’ve got for anything in the world. If Mr. G were taken away from me I would die. I would shrivel up into the Earth and be swallowed. You might as well institutionalize me. I need him like I need air, and I will need him for the rest of my life. I will gladly put down my backpack and Jungle Juice in a coconut while riding on an elephant for a mop and a breast pump. I’m ready to go wherever life takes us, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.
Sometimes I think about where I would be if I continued down my party-girl-life-is-a-highway route. I’d be having tons of fun for sure. That makes me feel guilty because I know it’s not the same type of sacrifice that Mr. G is making. But I’m not sure there would be meaning or direction in my life if I were on a beach in Phuket come October. I am so thankful for everything I’ve experienced so far and looking forward to what’s coming next.
Please believe I’m not saying my life was so meaningless and now that I’m getting married my purpose is to be Susy Homemaker and churn out little American-Japanese-English spawn. I am not on about that at all. We’ve all got big dreams regardless of who comes into our lives and sweeps us off our feet. I know I’m not giving up on all of my dreams. I also know I’ll have a very supportive and loving husband alongside me when I go for them.
After my dream last night, I did make Mr. G pinky-promise we’d go to Thailand one day. He said if I died before I made it there, he’d tie a bunch of balloons to our house and go for me 😀
Maybe I’m the only one, but have you ever thought about where you’d be if you weren’t getting married?