Long before we were engaged, Mr. Puffer and I talked about marriage and found we agreed on nearly every aspect. We shared similar thoughts on what we wanted from our partner, the life we’d build with one another, and what we’d have to do to get there. We even shared a similar vision of our wedding: simple, short, and small.
It’s funny how a word like “small” can be wildly misinterpreted.
Here are a few fun facts about me: I’m an introvert. I hate being the center of attention. I have, unfortunately, attended far more funerals than weddings. I never thought I’d get married and, to be honest, never really wanted a wedding. And did I mention that I’m an introvert?
Image via someecards
So I was very happy—and relieved—to learn that Mr. Puffer shared my desire to keep the nuptials small. Then I discovered that his definition of a “small” guest list differed vastly from mine.
It started several months before our engagement. We were out to eat somewhere and idly discussing wedding terms Puff doesn’t know. (My favorite was his name for the rehearsal dinner: the “food reception thingy you have before the wedding.”) He asked what the best man was called and how many there are, so I explained the difference between the best man and groomsmen. Then he started listing who he’d invite to act as groomsmen. When he got to the fifth name, I stopped him.
“Wait. Just how many groomsmen do you want?”
“I don’t know. Seven? How many bridesmaids are you having?”
See, here was the problem: While we both agreed on having a small wedding, we never defined what precisely “small” meant. I was thinking around 15 guests total, 20 tops. Just us, immediate family, a couple friends, and a justice of the peace, with a dinner afterward at a restaurant. No formal reception. No tuxedos. No elaborate decorations.
I shared with him my vision of a simple, short, and small wedding. He was shaking his head by the time I mentioned the JP. My sweet, sensitive fiancé-to-be turned into a red-faced, foot-stomping wedding diva. “A courthouse wedding wouldn’t be a real wedding. I want a real wedding.” There was no arguing for anything less than a ceremony, reception, and honeymoon. In that moment, the Groomzilla was born.
That one conversation turned my world upside down. I argued, pleaded, persuaded…to no avail. So I conceded. He wants a wedding, so I’m giving him one. The next day, I downloaded a wedding planning app, ordered a book, and joined the ‘Bee. We now each have five attendants, and our guest list stands at over 160 (more on that later).
My intimate, easy-going wedding has turned into a multi-headed beast. But you know what? He’s excited, and his enthusiasm has gotten me excited. We know that what matters most is what comes the day after the wedding, and every day after that. But before then, we’re going to have a pretty kick-ass party.