Enter the Groomzilla: Negotiating What Our Wedding Will Be

Long before we were engaged, Mr. Puffer and I talked about marriage and found we agreed on nearly every aspect. We shared similar thoughts on what we wanted from our partner, the life we’d build with one another, and what we’d have to do to get there. We even shared a similar vision of our wedding: simple, short, and small.

It’s funny how a word like “small” can be wildly misinterpreted.

Here are a few fun facts about me: I’m an introvert. I hate being the center of attention. I have, unfortunately, attended far more funerals than weddings. I never thought I’d get married and, to be honest, never really wanted a wedding. And did I mention that I’m an introvert?

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Image via someecards

So I was very happy—and relieved—to learn that Mr. Puffer shared my desire to keep the nuptials small. Then I discovered that his definition of a “small” guest list differed vastly from mine.

It started several months before our engagement. We were out to eat somewhere and idly discussing wedding terms Puff doesn’t know. (My favorite was his name for the rehearsal dinner: the “food reception thingy you have before the wedding.”) He asked what the best man was called and how many there are, so I explained the difference between the best man and groomsmen. Then he started listing who he’d invite to act as groomsmen. When he got to the fifth name, I stopped him.

“Wait. Just how many groomsmen do you want?”

“I don’t know. Seven? How many bridesmaids are you having?”

“One.”

See, here was the problem: While we both agreed on having a small wedding, we never defined what precisely “small” meant. I was thinking around 15 guests total, 20 tops. Just us, immediate family, a couple friends, and a justice of the peace, with a dinner afterward at a restaurant. No formal reception. No tuxedos. No elaborate decorations.

I shared with him my vision of a simple, short, and small wedding. He was shaking his head by the time I mentioned the JP. My sweet, sensitive fiancé-to-be turned into a red-faced, foot-stomping wedding diva. “A courthouse wedding wouldn’t be a real wedding. I want a real wedding.” There was no arguing for anything less than a ceremony, reception, and honeymoon. In that moment, the Groomzilla was born.

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Image via Daily Mail / Photo by Quinn Miller

That one conversation turned my world upside down. I argued, pleaded, persuaded…to no avail. So I conceded. He wants a wedding, so I’m giving him one. The next day, I downloaded a wedding planning app, ordered a book, and joined the ‘Bee. We now each have five attendants, and our guest list stands at over 160 (more on that later).

My intimate, easy-going wedding has turned into a multi-headed beast. But you know what? He’s excited, and his enthusiasm has gotten me excited. We know that what matters most is what comes the day after the wedding, and every day after that. But before then, we’re going to have a pretty kick-ass party.

BLOGGER

Mrs. Puffer

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  1. Member
    robinvalentine 724 posts, Busy bee @ 9:48 am

    I hear you. We started out with the same ideas, small intimate & just immediate family but no children. Well, it turned out to be over a 100 guests & some children. He wanted a traditional family style wedding and I wanted to make him happy. So my wedding journey was interesting to say the least. However, my wedding day was a dream come true that I didn’t know I wanted.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Sweet Princess, Guest @ 7:39 pm

    I hear you!! I am a total introvert, and was dreading being the center of attention. BUT, our 135 person wedding (we invited over 200) last weekend was so much fun, getting to involve everyone, and I actually somehow didn’t mind being the center of attention for a day. You are just so happy that you don’t even care.
    One tip: schedule your self some alone time if you can. I had already checked into our hotel and had breakfast and a nice drawn-out cup of tea all by myself that morning and it was heaven!!! Very centering.

  3. Member
    Bio_Chemist 196 posts, Blushing bee @ 6:25 pm

    Same thing happened to me: FI wanted a large wedding (in my opinion, it’s large), I had about 10 guests on the guest list. Told him I’d rather save the money for something more important, like our grad degrees or a house, but oh no! A courthouse wedding was for “old people and felons” (important note, he’s been married before, I haven’t). So I give in and start planning…his dream wedding -_-
    The kicker? He then turns into a typical groom-to-be, incapable of answering any direct question about venues, food, music with anything but “whatever you want/makes you happy”.
    Finally, after a year of me doing all the planning, and finally getting into it, he finally decides that I was right from the get-go! That man is sooooooo lucky I love him! Lmao! I must admit that I’m a little disappointed, but relieved! We’ve been together for 8 years now, and will be married in a couple of months! As far as I’m concerned, it’s about *** **** time!

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