Two Wheels Become One: The End

After the last song ended, the DJ basically kicked everyone out. We had planned a magical sparkler exit that would look something like this:


Image via National Geographic / Photo by Ruth Ritter

Since the guests all had to get downstairs and outside, then line up with a lit sparkler, we figured we had time for a private last dance. I didn’t count on our guests suffering from drunk deafness, though. To this day, people tell me how confused they were about pretty much everything I had the DJ announce.

“I didn’t know that was the last song!”

“Suddenly people were just leaving!”

“When did the photo booth officially open?”

“I wish I had known you had a guestbook.”

Poor DJs. I have a feeling people have just gotten used to tuning them out. Unfortunately, my DJ was giving relevant information that I had asked him to give, not just yelling, “Yo yo, let’s hear it for the Unicycles!”

Anyway, no one seemed to realize they needed to GTFO, even though the DJ kept basically saying, “Um, guys…leave…” in not so many words. So by the time the last guest left, the first guest to leave had probably been standing outside with a sparkler for like 10 minutes already.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Finally, the room was empty except for Mr. Unicycle and me, the DJ, and the photographer. The DJ cued up our private last dance song (an idea I stole from Mrs. Elephant). The song we chose was “Crazy Girl” by the Eli Young Band. I’m hesitant to link to the video, because it ruined the song for me, but if you promise to listen and not watch, here’s the video.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

This song came out right after (or maybe even right before) Mr. Unicycle proposed to me, and since I was at the height of my emotional cheezballosity, I like cried at it or something. Even though I pride myself on being an independent feminist woman who doesn’t need a man, etc. etc., I have to admit that this song kind of reminds me of our relationship dynamic (again, I’m talking about the song, not the video). Whenever I’m upset about something stupid, Mr. Unicycle makes me feel better and protects me from the negative thoughts in my head. I went through a lot more emotional turmoil than him throughout college, and he was always there for me. I plan to do the same for him when the time comes.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

When the song ended, a staff member came by to let us know everyone was waiting for us downstairs. Then she turned to Mr. Unicycle and said, “You gave her goosebumps!” It was true, my arms were covered in goosebumps because of the sheer poignancy of the moment. I wiped a tear away as I realized my wedding was coming to a close, and we headed downstairs, hand in hand.

Outside, it was chaos. There were people standing in a giant crowd holding sparklers that were almost burnt out, and many of them didn’t even notice when we came out.


Guest photo

From talking to people after the wedding, I’ve realized that sparkler send-offs really don’t work with open bars. You can have one or the other at your wedding, but not both, apparently. Everyone was confused and drunk and unaware of their surroundings, and there was fire everywhere. But even though the photos, well, suck, it was a still a magical exit.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

We exited our wedding to a magical haze of sparks and smoke and pyrotechnics. The guests who did notice us cheered as we ran out…


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

…and we escaped into the back of the limo. Our parents knocked on the door to say good-bye, and then we drove off into the night.


Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

When we got on the road, away from our guests, I put my head on Mr. Unicycle’s chest and the tears just flowed. I wasn’t crying because I was happy or sad or for any real reason. It was a cathartic release, a diarrhea of pent-up emotions, a sigh of relief.


Mrs. Unicycle

Chicago, IL
Wedding Date:
June 2012
The Sweet Ride: STDs Part 1
On the Eff-It Stage...
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  1. Member
    missgoldfish 454 posts, Helper bee @ 8:21 pm

    I love your private last dance photos! And I think you might be right about having to choose between an open bar or a sparkler exit, but I’m glad you were still able to do both!

  2. Member
    texasaggiemom 595 posts, Busy bee @ 8:56 pm

    LOVE that last photo! You still look absolutely radiant, in spite of however many hundred hours it had been since you got ready. I enjoy your posts so much, and hope this isn’t the end of them. Surely you have more stories to share with us? Please???

  3. Member
    slicey19 3500 posts, Sugar bee @ 11:45 pm

    This post makes me so happy. Mostly because my sparkler exit turned out very similar. We also had an open bar and the DJs gave instruction to go out onto the deck for the last song and sparklers but somehow some started too early, some people made it outside too late and there is no good photo of a group of sparklers. Glad to hear I was not the only one. Also, so glad to hear you had a good ending even if the sparklers didn’t get in line. My memories are all warm and fuzzy regardless of the pyrotechnics.

  4. unicycle Bee
    unicycle 476 posts, Helper bee @ 7:35 am

    @TexasAggieMom: I still have a few more!

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    js, Guest @ 8:57 am

    Please tell me you are going to continue blogging! You are so funny. I don’t want it to be THE END (but not in a creepy, stalker-y kind of way). I had my holyshitourweddingisover moment after, too. Fortunately, I was thrown into after-party drama so I couldn’t really wallow the way I wanted. I also had the post-wedding blues even though I thought I would so not be that girl. I hope you guys are married a very long time because when you have a guy you can just sob all over, you’ve got something special!

  6. mssquirrel Bee
    mssquirrel 276 posts, Helper bee @ 9:00 am

    haha you are so right…fire and drunky drunks = bad idea. Overall, you still got your lace dance and hey, it made for a funny story! I love that last pic of you two!

  7. Member
    sugarbox 226 posts, Helper bee @ 8:33 pm

    Love these photos.

  8. Member
    BabyBlueEyes 235 posts, Helper bee @ 11:33 am

    I got married back in December, and only come on Wedding Been now every once in a blue moon to check your posts. (I was so addicted before our wedding that I couldn’t imagine not checking Wedding Bee every day, but turns out after your wedding you actually become a wife and so many other things become important… But that’s besides the point!) I just had to comment on this post because Crazy Girl was my husband and I’s first dance song! It fits our relationship so perfectly. He showed it to me right around the time it came out, right after a certain rocky point in our relationship. So cool to see that my favorite Bee loves it too!

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