Too friendly ex: normal or a problem?
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My fiancé was married to his college sweetheart for six years before they divorced. They mutually decided to separate after deciding that they were just very different people than they were in college and wanted different things and different lifestyles. From what he’s told me, there was no huge blow up or infidelity, they just mutually drifted apart. They’ve maintained somewhat of a close relationship; they are definitely better as friends than as a married couple. In fact, that’s what he described their relationship like when it was falling apart: They just felt like good friends or roommates that were living together in the end.
Ever since I’ve known him, she’s always been a part of his life. They still share friends in common and we see her at weddings and the occasional party. She is super active on his Facebook posts, commenting on and/or liking pretty much everything he posts that DON’T have to do with me. When we see each other, she’s cordial but I do feel a tinge of coldness toward me (while she is very warm to him).
Their relationship makes me uncomfortable.
I’ve brought it up to my FI and he is receptive to my feelings in general, but that’s about the extent of it. He tells me that he hardly maintains contact with her and he’s right; if she texts him he rarely responds unless it’s some sort of logistics issue (like the occasional mail of his that shows up at her (their old shared) house), he doesn’t interact with her on Facebook, he doesn’t avoid her in social situations but doesn’t make a huge point to spend a lot of time with her when they’re in the same room, either.
I honestly think that she wants more of a relationship with him than I’m comfortable with. Whether his too friendly ex is just a close friendship (or more) I can’t say, but all I can say is I’m uncomfortable with it and would prefer that they really didn’t have contact with each other outside of logistical/necessary contact.
They don’t have kids; I honestly don’t see any reason for them to be in such consistent contact anymore.
Is that reasonable of me to ask of him (I mean, he’s going to have to basically tell her to stop texting/Facebooking him) to ask of her or am I just being overly jealous since it’s her initiating the majority of their contact and not him?
Does your SO have a too friendly ex? What would you do if you were in my situation?