How Wonderful Life Is: What Did She Say?

So you read all about our ceremony, and you think that everything was hunky-dory and romantic and sappy and beautiful, right? Well, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about how it really was. Gotta keep it real, right?

After we signed the register, as Wizard Aunt was reading our marriage blessing, I noticed something wiggling near Mr. Wiz’s left ear. As I looked closer, I realized”¦oh my %#@$, he had a spider on his head. Literally a spider, crawling all over the side of his head and glasses. Don’t believe me? Look here (apologies in advance to Mr. Wiz for posting this extreme closeup of his face!):

The angle of that photo makes it look smaller than it was; it wasn’t huge by any means, but it definitely wasn’t insignificant either. In the minute or so that it took Wizard Aunt to read the closing blessing, it had dangled from his glasses, crawled all over the side of his head, and disappeared somewhere behind his ear.

So as Wizard Aunt was closing out our ceremony and pronouncing us husband and wife, I was a bit preoccupied. I showed you this picture in the last post:


Did you think I was gazing lovingly into Mr. Wiz’s eyes? In reality, it was more like this:

It was all I could think about. I spent the last reading of our ceremony dithering over what to do: Should I just ignore it? But what if it bit him? Should I try to swat it away? But what if it bit me, or what if I freaked out and yelped (as I am wont to do when killing bugs), or what if I missed and slapped him in the face? What a way to end our wedding ceremony that would be!

So I settled for the best thing I could think of. I looked him square in the eye, and very clearly mouthed at him:

“You. Have. A. Spi. Der. On. Your. Head.”

He looked at me like I was nuts and mouthed back, “I have a”¦what?”

I knew then that he wasn’t going to get it, and it wasn’t worth repeating over and over again to try. So I shook my head and shrugged a little, and made a mental note to NOT put my hand on that side of his face when we went in for the kiss.

People complimented us on our very picturesque first kiss, even asking if we’d practiced that pose”¦


But in reality, it was because I was avoiding going anywhere near his head with my right hand. Hey, at least it looked nice!

People asked me after the ceremony what I said to him at the end. Lots of people said I looked mad, like I was reprimanding him for something. Awkward!

I told Mr. Wiz about it after the ceremony and he almost didn’t believe me. The spider was nowhere to be seen after that, so there was no way to prove it to him. When we got our pictures back from our photographer, the very first thing I did was zoom in on all the ceremony pictures that showed that side of his face until I found one with the spider. Mr. Wiz’s reaction? “What. WHAT. No way. Nuh uh. That’s Photoshop’ed.” Nope, sorry dear, I was telling the truth all along: you had a spider on your head.

Miss something? Follow along here!

First, I kick things off with our wedding video.
I go stir-crazy, and almost choke to death, the week before our wedding.
We had a pretty bad venue setup/rehearsal day.
I’m the bride with the weak stomach.
The crew arrives, and the ladies get pretty.
Hairstylist B accidentally shares a little secret!
Bride and groom exchange cards and a surprise gift.
Tying bow ties is a comedy of errors.
Finally, I become a bride!
All the little details.
A special lady gets a special gift.
Here comes the sun, and the bride (AKA our first look).
We took some family photos.
We processed, and got married!

All photos by MichaelWill Photography unless otherwise noted. Images market with an (*) are edited by me, with permission from Michael.


Mrs. Wizard

Wedding Date:
June 2012
On a Guestbook Trial Run...
Because I'm a Nanny, That's Why
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  1. Member
    dmuszall 101 posts, Blushing bee @ 7:56 pm

    Hilarious!! Possibly the funniest blog ever lol!

  2. Member
    ChicagoDreamer 509 posts, Busy bee @ 8:50 pm

    I guess the spider wanted in on the wedding action too. You remained much more calm than I would’ve. I would be freaking out!

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    Jenn, Guest @ 5:00 am

    I would have freaked out! Good on you for staying calm… and having photographic evidence. 😉

    I am also amused that this post showed up in my google reader just above a post entitled “10 Great Spider Scenes in Movies.”

  4. coyote Bee
    coyote 2051 posts, Buzzing bee @ 6:58 am

    Bahahahah oh my gosh!! Your ceremony posts were so beautiful and had me in tears, but this is too, too much! I probably would have whacked it off his face just out of instinct, this is hilarious!!

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