*Disclaimer: I am not trying to imply that a wedding is a performance, because I truly do not think it is, but I still think that quote fits here.
Hive, I cannot thank you enough for all of your kind words of support on Saturday. I read them all as I was getting my hair done that morning, watching the rain pour down outside, and they made me feel so much better.
Everything was out of perspective for me. Because I was acting as my own decorator, DJ, cake baker, coordinator, and everything in between, I was wringing my hands over the details. Up until the rehearsal I was essentially the only person who knew exactly what was supposed to happen when, so I had to direct everyone and everything, and I was still trying to direct on the wedding day. But reading your comments reminded me to just let things go and be present to experience the day.
And you know what?
Everything turned out perfect. More perfect than I could have imagined. As my aunt drove me from the hotel to the venue for our first look, the sun suddenly came out, the ground dried up, and the weather was entirely perfect from then on. We were wed outside in the most perfect ceremony with those mountains in the background, and it was exactly what I had pictured and dreamed of. And because I let go of the control freak in me (not an easy thing for me to do), I was able to consciously make memories and experience the day, and it was absolutely beautiful. Things went wrong, no one danced at the reception, and it ended two hours early because everyone had left. But I had a husband, I had heard from everyone how beautiful the day was and how much they enjoyed it, and I had had the time of my life, and that’s what mattered.
I won’t say that all the worry was for nothing—there were legitimate concerns in the hours leading up to the wedding, and not just about the weather. But everything turned out perfectly, and I could not have asked for a more perfect wedding day. When we got back to our hotel room that night, before I even took my dress off, I plopped down on the bed with my laptop and wrote out every little detail and memory that I could remember because I already felt those tiny moments slipping away from me. I told Mr. Wiz that it felt like when you wake up from a dream and you can feel the details rapidly fading, and all you’re left with is impressions. I wanted to preserve those details, because I never want to forget a second of that day.
Now we wait for our professional pictures and video, but for now I am enjoying watching guest photos roll in on Facebook. I can’t wait to come back and share every last detail with you all. Thank you so much again for all of your support; it really meant a lot to me.
Love love love,