Gray Wolf Guest Breakdown

I always love these posts from other bees, so I figured I’d give you a glimpse into our guest list and RSVP breakdown.

For the ceremony, our venue holds 100 at the absolute maximum. We knew we would get some declines, but we didn’t want to risk too much. Save some of my side of the family, we didn’t invite any “peripherals”—you know, the second cousins you never see, or old college classmates—and there’s not much else going on in February, so we were fairly confident that most people would be able to make it. We ended up inviting 108:


Whoops. I didn’t realize how skewed this was until I looked at it in a nice chart fashion.


As you can see, our wedding is definitely “friend-heavy.” I have a big immediate family, but we’re not especially close with my extended family, whereas Wolfman’s family is a little on the smaller side. We also both brought a good sized friend group to the relationship, and we’ve kept up those friendships during our dating.

The full breakdown:


To give myself some leeway here, I extended invites to aunts and uncles I haven’t seen in years that we were fairly confident wouldn’t make it. Turns out that hunch was right, and our actual RSVP list is much more balanced with 89:


A bit more balanced!


Still super friend heavy. Final breakdown:


We were aiming/hoping for about 85 and landed a bit above that, but still fine for our venue’s capacity. For the longest time I also forgot to add us to the total—don’t forget that you’re going to your own wedding!

How are your numbers shaping up? Any surprises or did you get the RSVPs you thought you would?


Mrs. Gray Wolf

Washington DC
Wedding Date:
February 2013
Armadillo Invitation Reveal
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  1. Member
    brooklyn55 743 posts, Busy bee @ 9:13 pm

    We struggled with guest list so much!! I have a huge extended family and I am super close with all of them. My FI isn’t close with his extended family (we invited them, knowing they wouldn’t come.. they live in Washington state and Oregon.. We live in NC) but he has a large immediate family (because his parents are divorced and remarried and he has step-parents, siblings, half siblings). We ultimately didn’t get to invite ALL the friends we would have liked because we couldn’t add anymore people. We are inviting 186 (but expect and hope) that only 150 will attend. Of invited it breaks down 56 my family (all expected to attend), 22 my family friends (18/22 expected to attend), 26 my friends (all expected to attend), 32 his family (16/32 expected to attend), 24 family friends (16/24 expected to attend), 26 friends (22/26 expected to attend). It is fairly even 104-82 invites but expected show ups is very skewed (100-54).

  2. Member
    lstyle25 567 posts, Busy bee @ 11:14 pm

    I had wanted to select a certain number of people since
    Our ceremony site also only holds 100 and our invite list is at 150 now and did a post here on the weddingbee.. Majority said it is rude not to invite everyone and that itd be a tiered wedding and that this and that:.. I am glad to see bees that are doing this, makes me feel like i could still do the same as well..thanks for sharing!

  3. mswallaby Bee
    mswallaby 2070 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:59 am

    I love these posts, it’s always interesting to see how the final numbers stack up! Our final numbers were similar percentage-wise, except the guest list was heavier on Mr. W’s side (since they’re all locals, whereas almost all of my friends and family were out-of-towners).

  4. Member
    veggie_rachel 575 posts, Busy bee @ 9:20 am

    I think our count will be pretty friend heavy too, but that’s not a bad thing! Mr. Veggie’s family is super huge though, so it’ll balance out that most of my list is friends (I only anticipate my family to be my parents and sister).

  5. Member
    stephk527 987 posts, Busy bee @ 11:35 am

    I’m so impressed with how close you guys were able to come for your hoped-for number! That’s awesome and will make for a great intimate wedding.

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