Save That Date: Surviving Our First Wedding-Planning Fight

I’ve said it. You’ve probably said it. Everyone’s said it.

Planning a wedding is a stressful undertaking. I was just not prepared for what would trigger our first wedding-related blowout.

The save the dates. The stupidly simple, easy-to-do item turned into a two-hour hell fest. And it was all over which photo we’d use. I still roll my eyes every time I look at the magnet hanging on our fridge.


Image via someecards

Once we completed our engagement session, we took a well-deserved wedding planning break for Christmas and New Year’s. And eventually, in January, I sat down to design the save the date.

The last five years I lived in Pennsylvania, I volunteered for an animal shelter and served as the “official” shelter photographer—which really just meant I had a great camera that was powerful enough to take beautiful photos of fast-moving animals. During that stint, I’d used both Shutterfly and Snapfish to create some memorabilia as giveaways. I made these websites my first stops for the save the dates.

Shameless plug for Andy’s Friends (Personal photo)

The templates each website had were fantastic, but the price I’d pay for the quantity I needed put the final bill at well over $200—a lot more than I was willing to spend, especially before postage. I logged on to the Weddingbee to figure out an alternative.

Enter Vistaprint. I’d never heard of Vistaprint until Weddingbee—thanks, hive! I did a quick Google search and found a 50% off coupon. Better still, I discovered that for only about $10 more, I was able to upgrade from a plain postcard to a magnet, something Mr. Puffer really wanted but I thought would be out of our price range.

In just under an hour, with Puff sitting next to me on the couch, I designed and proofed our save-the-date card. I had my credit card in hand to place the order when I thought I’d better show Mr. Puffer the design one final time. His response?

“That’s not the photo you’re going to use, is it?”


Image via Kelly Phillips Photography / Photo by Kelly Phillips

Cue hours of pure wedding hell. We argued over which photo to use. Then we argued over the template to put it in. Then we went back to arguing over the photo. Back and forth, for a solid two hours, we fought about the save the date. I think, at one point, I told him to design the damn thing himself, if he felt so strongly about it. And I’m pretty sure he told me to pick whatever the hell I wanted, as well.


He wanted the black and white photo. / Image via Kelly Phillips Photography / Photo by Kelly Phillips

But despite our disagreements, we both agreed that we wanted each other to like the final design. As a compromise, I designed three save the dates with three different photos: one he loved, one I loved, and one we both liked. We then voted for our favorite and a runner-up. After voting concluded, we both chose the same design as the runner-up, and that was the one we ordered.

Our final “eh” design that we now get to see on every friend’s and relative’s fridge. Template via Vistaprint / Photo by Kelly Phillips

We survived the save-the-date designing process, and afterward we could laugh about it. But it was definitely a dose of reality. Until that point, wedding planning had been going so well. We were agreeing on nearly everything and finding easy compromises on everything else. The Save the Date Debacle of ’15 told us that we should prepare for more stress to come.

Oh, goody.


Mrs. Puffer

Gallery of the Day: May 14, 2015
Classifieds: May 14, 2015
Add a comment


  1. Member
    Saramina329 173 posts, Blushing bee @ 1:00 pm

    LOL. I really really hated the picture that my husband choose for our STDs. That is one project he completely took over and he did a great job overall except that he choose a close up of my bare face, no cover up and I also don’t have the straightest teeth and he choose that picture out of all the pictures that we had, we didn’t do an engagement session. At least it’s over and you guys survived and I like that you guys are ready for the potential war.

  2. msnarwhalbee Bee
    Mrs. Narwhal 87 posts, Worker bee @ 7:20 pm

    I’m glad you ended up finding a compromise for your Save the Dates. Bummer that they’re a sore point for you though!

    Mr. Narwhal and I haven’t been in any fights because of wedding planning, but one morning we definitely bickered for about half an hour about the wedding cookies!! He told his mother she didn’t have to bake them anymore and I couldn’t understand why, and the story changed three times in that time. I ended up just talking to his mom to get the story… which turns out she’s making less cookies… but still doing the job! Phew! I definitely had one of those moments where I couldn’t believe that wedding planning could lead to us bickering about cookies! It was just such a ridiculous situation.

    I’m definitely glad Mr. Narwhal and I have been on the same page for 95% of planning, because I couldn’t handle arguing over all of the decisions that need to be made for the day! I would legitimately go crazy!!

  3. walrus Bee
    Mrs. Walrus 187 posts, Blushing bee @ 5:57 am

    Vistaprint strikes again!!

    Girl I would’ve told him, “yup this is the picture i’m using” and hit order! AHAHAHA! I definetly pulled “Bride Rank” on Mr. W a couple times during wedding planning! But I do like that first picture of you guys! That would’ve been nice too!!! Your save the dates turned out nicely!!

  4. Member
    PSUgirl08 340 posts, Helper bee @ 12:08 pm

    My husband and I NEVER agree on photos we like… he always picks the ones he looks good in, which also always happen to be the ones I look AWFUL in… Lol. Glad you guys were able to agree!

  5. milkcow Bee
    Mrs. Milk Cow 216 posts, Helper bee @ 7:13 am

    Mr. MC and I agreed on our Save the Dates (and by agreed I mean I put some things into Vistaprint and told him to pick which one he liked), but our moms disagreed on which picture to use. I didn’t want to hear about it for the next six months, so I ended up ordering both pictures and making sure they each got the one they wanted 🙂 Honestly, that was the one of the most difficult things in our planning (as far as everyone agreeing)… so the worst may be behind you!

add a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors