“Do you want me to pour you a glass of wine?” This was Mr. G’s go-to question whenever I got off the phone and had an “Oh no! The wedding is going to fall apart” look on my face. During this past year I’ve had a few things go wrong during my wedding planning: I lost our American venue, coordinators quit, an MC canceled, and our cake baker went out of business. I had quite a few sleepless nights trying to figure out how to fix all of these messes. At first, I resented all of those sleepless nights because I wanted wedding planning to be fun and easy, but I’m so glad that things went wrong because every single change or mishap has led to something better. If there is anyone out there who is stressing over a planning mishap, don’t worry. Things can work themselves out for the best.
Image via troll.me
Losing our American venue was my biggest mishap. I booked our venue 13 months in advance from our planned wedding date in November. Nine months before the wedding I received a phone call saying the owners had decided to move to New York. When I got the news, I didn’t feel rage or anger—I was just numb and in shock. I hung up the phone and sent out a few emails to other venues and tried to sleep, but I’m ashamed to say I cried for a bit. I had this image in my head of what our wedding was going to look like for months and now it was just over. It was hard to change my vision into something completely different, but in the end, the Hollywood Beach Golf Resort where we will be having the wedding is a much better choice. The owners are good friends with my mother and the venue is much larger than the previous venue. The previous venue was so small that there was a chance we wouldn’t be able to have a DJ and dance. The change in venue meant a more fun party vibe for our guests. We also have free rein to decorate and have event lightning, which the previous venue didn’t offer.
My second major mishap was that our Japanese wedding after-party coordinator suddenly quit and didn’t pass any information along about the party to her replacement. My friend, Tomomi, who is helping me coordinate the after-party gave the venue a call to go over a few details and they were like, “Who is this?” “What after-party?” Needless to say, Tomomi had a mini freak-out. Fortunately, the date was still available, but we had to start the process of going over all of our special requests and programs. The upside to this is that I didn’t like our original after-party coordinator in the first place, and now I won’t have to work with her. Mr. G, Tomomi, and I went to meet with her one day and she basically ignored me and only spoke to my Japanese friend. I understand that people may not think I understand Japanese and initially speak to the Japanese person with me, but once it’s established that I can understand most people start talking to me. Our event coordinator did not. She posed all of her questions to Tomomi even though I would answer. For example, 20 minutes into our meeting we had this exchange:
Event Coordinator (looking at Tomomi): How many people do you think you will have at the after-party?
Tomomi: I think you should ask the bride.
Me: About 50
Event Coordinator (looking at Tomomi again): When can you give me the final headcount?
Me: I can give it to you by October.
Event Coordinator (looking at Tomomi again): Blah, blah, blah”¦
This went on and on.
Tomomi and I left feeling very dissatisfied, but we liked the venue so we stuck with it. We were upset to hear that she quit, but we are so glad we won’t have to work with her anymore. Our new coordinator, Ono-san, is amazing, and he looks at me when he asks questions!
I’ve had a few other mishaps too. Our American cake baker went out of business (with her attitude I’m not surprised). Fortunately, I was able to find a better cake baker named Jen who is super communicative and makes beautiful cakes. I am actually looking forward to our wedding cake now!
When you start wedding planning it is easy to get wrapped up in a world where your wedding is the most important thing and any change that doesn’t go with your vision is going to ruin everything. I say take a deep breath and move on. Things can work out even better than what you expect if you open you yourself up to change.
Has there been any major mishap or change in your wedding planning? How did you handle it? Did it all work out for the best?