Eventually, once a year, I end up in a Bermuda Triangle of my own creation, one that’s comprised of activities, commitments and jobs that I have willingly agreed to by the simple fact that I have trouble saying NO to people or because I fail to set boundaries. I am currently in one of those situations. I saw the giant wall looming ahead of me, but I still decided it was a good idea to run full force towards it. Normally, I stop just inches before hitting it. Today, I wasn’t so lucky.
The thing I find interesting is that my work and commitment load hasn’t really changed.
My day job is just as stressful and demanding as ever and my freelance show opens in a few weeks (praise the Lord). I have my weekly commitments to my Broadway class and trivia team, but that’s normal and is usually a stress outlet.
Oh, wait. What’s that you say? I’m also planning a wedding? Please, I have months to do that! No big deal. It’s just a really big party”¦.um”¦isn’t it. help.
I had no idea planning something so joyous would create this much intensity and stress in my body. When I started on this journey, I said to several people how this would be such a piece of cake because I can costume a whole production in 3 weeks for $1000 with my eyes closed. I remember, in the past, secretly scoffing at girls who were soooo distraught and stressed out over planning a wedding.
Wrong. I was so wrong and I apologize to those sweet darlings who were unknowingly scoffed at.
This is hard. Once you are under the “100 days to go” mark it gets really hard. Last leg of a marathon hard.
The hard part isn’t the putting together and addressing 60 invite cards or deciding what font to use on your RSVPs. As a matter of fact, all of the crafty DIY stuff puts me in my happy place. The hard part is losing time. The even harder part, the one that has seriously taken its toll on me, is dealing with people issues. Issues of who to hack off the guest list. Where should I seat my parents at dinner so that nobody is pissed off or arguing? It’s the phone calls and tears and worrying over why the damn salon doesn’t have your dress in yet. It’s pleasing people, putting on a happy face and having to answer the question of “how’s the planning going” 20 times a day. It’s feeling like you’ll never have enough hours in the day to get this “really big party” off the ground while still enjoying the sweet, quiet moments with your honey (who happens to be in another state).
I’m not gonna lie, ladies. It’s rough and emotional times in the Waffle House right now. I am physically exhausted, missing Mr Waffle like crazy and was pretty damn close to crying at work today. What I really need is a full day of Colin Firth as Mr Darcy in P&P while wearing my pajamas and NO other human contact, NO wedding and NO work. I need a full day to recharge my battery and answer to nobody but ME so I can be my usual happy, bouncy self again.
On the bright side, less than 100 days to go.
Have you hit the wall recently? Are you pretty close to hitting it? What are you doing to avoid the wall at all costs?