On the whole, I’d say the Hammerhead wedding is pretty typical for our generation. Photo booth at the reception, suits instead of tuxes, fluffy ruffly flowers, etc. But there are a few places where we’re deviating from the norm—from the tradition, from the trend, whatever you want to call it. For instance…
Bling on the Ring
So, I guess I’ve never shown you guys the beautiful ring Mr. Hammerhead picked out for me, but it looks like this:
Lovely, right? It’s from Brilliant Earth, and from the get-go, I knew I’d want a shadow band to go with it (meaning, one that follows the curves of the ring, rather than a straight-sided ring that would result in gaps between the rings that I knew would drive me crazy). After falling down the Pinterest rabbit hole more than a few times, I assumed I’d end up with something like this:
Via Brilliant Earth
Imagine this, but without the diamonds around the engagement ring.
After all, pretty much everyone I know who gets married nowadays has an eternity-type ring, with diamonds all around the band. And with good reason—they’re pretty and shiny! So, I got in touch with Brilliant Earth and started to talk to them about making my wedding ring. And every time they would get back to me, I’d ask them if there was any way they could make the diamonds smaller. Maybe even smaller than that? Seriously, can you make them any smaller?
Finally, I realized that, when the jewelry I wear every. single. day looks like this:
Via Ross-Simons / My actual necklace is tsavorite, not emerald, but whatevs.
Blingy, fancy jewelry is clearly not my bag. So, finally, I stepped away from the inspiration photos and went with my gut: a plain, white gold shadow band. And I love it.
Please ignore how sausage-y my fingers look here. It was hot, and my fingers were swollen, but I was so excited to try on the ring that I couldn’t wait. And then it was so difficult to get the ring back off that I decided I need to get it resized before I ever try that again.
Head or Sweetheart Table
As far as I’d read online, there are basically two options for picking your table at the reception: sweetheart vs. head table.
Photo by Zev Fisher
A lovely sweetheart table at our venue, snapped by our photographer!
A super fancypants head table
Both have their pros and cons. While I liked the idea of eating dinner surrounded by our friends, Mr. Hammerhead was not a fan of the way the head table breaks up attendants from their significant others. While, at 11 people, we don’t have a huge bridal party, adding dates to the mix would’ve made the head table too big for our space.
But I really wasn’t a fan of the sweetheart table, either. I totally get the appeal of having dinner alone(ish) with your new spouse, and it definitely makes it easier to get up and motor around and say hi to everyone without leaving awkward empty spaces at the head table. But as someone who’s not super-comfortable being in the spotlight and is marrying someone else who’s not exactly a spotlight-hog, either, it just felt…off to me. And yes, I know that it’s our wedding day, and that by definition we’ll be at the center of attention for at least a couple hours. Sitting at our own table in the middle of the venue, though, felt a little too much like I’d be sitting on a stage while everyone watches me shovel surf ‘n’ turf into my mouth. And nobody wants that.
Finally, it hit me: a family table! I don’t know if this is actually a “thing” or not, but it made perfect sense to me. Both of us are very close to our families—and to each other’s families, too, for that matter. We usually see at least one set of parents every weekend, and it’s usually over dinner. What better way of calming our “everyone is staring” nerves and making the night feel at least semi-normal than to have dinner with our families? And, as luck would have it, between us, our parents, and our siblings, we have the perfect number of people to fill a single, ordinary table at our venue. (Our plan is to put the table right about where the sweetheart table is in that first photo above, and have our backs to the windows, so we won’t break any don’t-put-your-back-to-your-guests etiquette rules in the process.) Decision: made!
Tossing the Bouquet
This one was a decision I made a long, long time ago—and one that, I know, isn’t all that uncommon anymore. The bouquet toss is just one of those things that’s always gotten under my skin.
Image via Brides Throwing Cats / Original photo by Ayres Photography
I know Brides Throwing Cats is sort of old news now, but come on, I couldn’t resist.
Something about the tradition of corralling all the unmarried women to the center of the dance floor so they can leap for the symbolic chance to get married next has always bothered me. Don’t get me wrong—I totally get that a lot of people find it super-fun, and that the “You’re next!!!” bit has sort of gotten decoupled from the silliness of the tradition. But for me, and for my bouquet at our wedding? It’s just not happening.
What about you guys? What trends and traditions are you skipping? Did you get any push-back from friends and family about it?