I quit my job a few days before the wedding, and my new gig doesn’t start for a few more days. I’ve basically been a childless stay-at-home mom for the past few days, and I don’t really know what to do with myself. Without a high powered desk job and a wedding to plan, I am nothing but a child playing house and Amelia Bedelia-ing said house. Let me explain my history as Amelia Bedelia.
Image via Wikipedia
I lived with Mr. Unicycle for about five days in college because my two leases didn’t line up back to back. During that time, I managed to completely destroy his entire apartment and apartment building (note: this blog post contains hyperbole). What started as spilling a few drops of coffee onto his bedspread culminated in a waterlogged living room, flooded bathroom, a suspicious trail of water leading to the basement laundry facilities, and about $10 wasted in coin-operated laundry machines. It was basically exactly like The Cat in the Hat. All Mr. Unicycle said when he got home was “Why is my bedspread damp?”
So when it comes to household chores, I’m Amelia Bedelia. Or an anthropomorphic cat.
Image via Wikipedia
For your benefit, I chose the cartoon pic, not the Mike Myers horror film pic.
And yet, I’m the one in charge of organizing our wedding gifts and figuring out how to work the new appliances. You can see where this story is going–never let a child operate a brand new espresso maker unsupervised, even if the child has read the directions several times, and even if the child holds a college degree. Yes, steamed milk is currently…everywhere. And I’m blogging about it instead of cleaning.
Now that the world’s longest intro is over, we can get to the real meat and potatoes of the post: what can I do with myself now that my wedding’s over? I thrive on to-do lists and can’t comprehend that my wedding tasks are over, so I made another list. Here’s the list I came up with. But keep in mind that, as I already pointed out, I’m choosing to blog about the list instead of actually accomplishing anything on it.
1. Change my last name. I never blogged about my reasoning behind this because it was a boring reason. I’m married, so my last name is changing. I’m too lazy to consider alternatives. I found a good resource on The Knot about how to do so.
2. Get new car insurance, a new driver’s license, and new license plates. This is mostly because the Unicycles have never shacked up before (except those five fateful, apartment-ruining days) and my car now lives in a new state. All three of these tasks are too boring to even think about.
3. Thank you notes! I already ordered the photo we’re using in our thank you post cards, and until they arrive, I really can’t get started on this yet.
Image via Jennifer Shaffer Photography
We wanted to match the save the dates!
4. Hit the bank. We need to merge our accounts and deposit the zillions of dollars in wedding gifts we got. Unfortunately, it’s proving quite difficult to get to a bank that’s actually open once Mr. Unicycle gets off work, let alone to figure out how to deposit a check with my future last name on it. Next time I give a check as a wedding gift I’m only writing the groom’s name on it!
5. Sell wedding stuff. Anyone want my centerpiece “vases”? I’ve got 19 for $4 a pop. I’ll put up a listing in Classifieds eventually but, again, I’m too lazy to actually do anything right now.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography (cropped by me)
6. Add my name to the utility bills, change my address for all of my own bills, and add myself to Mr. Unicycle’s cell phone plan. (I’m getting my first smart phone ever!)
7. Choose photos for our wedding albums and order prints. I want to put some albums together for our parents in time for Christmas; plus, we’re getting a FREE album from our photographer (remember that anecdote?); PLUS, we owe our parents some wedding photos. I also need to get organized to begin recaps for you guys.
8. Review our wedding vendors. I want to do so out of the goodness of my heart, both to benefit the vendors we loved and future brides. However, there’s the added incentive of a free Shutterfly photo book from The Knot if we review five there. I’m not even sure we had five vendors, though.
9. Get my dress dry cleaned. I’m not sure what I’m doing with my dress. I always said I’d try to sell it, but now I’m attached to it. Plus, it was custom made and altered to fit me, so I don’t even know what size to call it. Snooki sized, most likely.
Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
I mean seriously, good thing I wore five-inch heels.
What else needs to get done after the wedding? I’m off to damage my apartment in a coffee-related incident. Somebody stop me!