To be honest, I find the tradition of sex-segregated bridal parties confusing. For some people, it is a tradition that works and it is definitely more convenient for some wedding events (read: bachelorette party), but it made more sense to me to have the bridal party line up by relationship, not by sex. Mr. Crab agreed, and that’s how we ended up with a mixed-gender bridal party.
It was definitely the right choice for us, but there have been a few challenges to “bucking tradition” in this way:
Updating the language. Probably the least of the concerns, because for the most part coming up with alternative descriptors has been simple. I have a “man of honor” and three “bridesmen,” but there is no catchy term for Mr. Crab’s sister on the other side. “Groomswoman” doesn’t have quite the ring to it.
I have been trying new hairstyles with my natural hair in preparation for the big question I am sure my mother will ask me: “How are you wearing your hair for the wedding?”
You see, I have been natural for about five years. And by natural, I mean I have not had any chemical processes done to my hair. I used to have my hair chemically straightened religiously; but around my junior year in college, the trips to the salon and constant upkeep became too much money work. One bad chemical process later, and I knew it was time to embrace my natural curls. If I want my hair straight, that’s what flat irons are for, right? But Mr. Angelfish likes my hair curly, and I like the hair the way it grows out of my head. So now it just becomes a matter of taming my wild curls into a suitable wedding style.
Here are some of my inspiration photos:
I tried to recreate one of these looks at home with my perm rods. (The look I was recreating had flat twists in the back, but I nixed those.)
I started rolling in the front, adding Olive Oil Eco Styler Gel to each section of hair, and then I smoothed the ends over the perm rod and rolled the hair to the root. I rolled the front and top rollers forward, and the back rollers down toward my neck.
And these were my results on day one:
It wasn’t exactly what I expected. I did not care for the way the front turned out, so I reverted to my normal side part.
The next day, I flat twisted the back into an updo and attempted to style the front again. Please forgive my low res iPad pics in the car, sitting outside my son’s daycare. (Say “Hi,” Baby Angel!)
Well, guess what? Mr. Angelfish saw the pinned up version, and he liked it. His exact words, “Why don’t you wear your hair like that for the wedding?” Well sure, OK! That was easy.
For next time, I need to roll the perm rods in a spiral style facing vertically, instead of the horizontal way I curled them this time. And I will pin up/flat twist the back before I curl, so I can focus on getting the spiral curls set more uniformly in the front.
Did you DIY your wedding hair? And did you practice in the weeks/months leading up to the wedding?
Well, it looks like we are officially having a wedding. Not as if all the other things we’ve been planning indicated otherwise, but sending out the invitations made the event somehow seem more tangible than ever before. We’ve received the first of our RSVPs back (they said yes!), so I think it’s high time for me to share with the hive.
You might recall that I planned to DIY our invitations from the beginning, and boy oh boy, DIY they were. I got a few text messages from guests who knew my DIY plan and asked, “Well which parts did you make yourself?” What do you mean which parts? Save for creating the envelopes from scratch and weaving our own twine, we made everything!
The scene at the post office was not as hectic has I had imagined. It might have helped that we mailed our invitations from our hometown in New Jersey rather than NYC. My parents’ dining room had become my invitation headquarters as there just wasn’t enough space in our studio to spread out a suitable crafting station. We were able to keep the postage to the 70 cent wedding invitation standard (I was very nervous about the weight), but the first post office we went to wanted to charge us 21 cents extra for hand cancelling. I had never heard of an upcharge for hand cancelling so we tried another post office in town. Lo and behold, no upcharge there. Winner! We did end up hand cancelling them ourselves, but I didn’t mind.
It’s been a while (a good three and a half years), so many of you may not remember me. Mr. Elephant and I had an amazing blue and green, travel themed wedding in Texas back in April 2011. We found our creative sides and added several DIY touches to our ceremony and reception.
My mother and I have two completely different ideas of what a wedding is. But before I tell you her thoughts on weddings in the new millennium, let me rewind to July 23, 1977. This is when Mama and Papa Walrus got married. This is 37 years ago. They had a pretty extravagant affair for the ’70s. (My dad has his afro to prove it. I would show you guys, but after their divorce, who knows what happened to those wedding albums.) They had a guest count of about 300 people at the church that is still my church home (just in a different location), followed by a reception and dinner and dancing. Sounds pretty typical right?
Now fast forward to present day, 2014. The problem is that my mother (mainly being the one in sticker shock over the price inflation of weddings over the past 30+ years) INSISTS that wedding receptions are simply: A receiving line after the ceremony, and you serve your guests cake and punch and the wedding is done. *blank stare*