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“YOU ARE SO PRETTY AND YOUR RING IS GORGEOUS, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN YOUR NAILS DONE BEFORE YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF YOUR HAND”
Someone left me this comment in my guestbook yesterday. It made me laugh out loud.
Mr. Bee told me a story about an engaged couple this past weekend. The bride-to-be knew that her extremely wealthy fiance wanted her to sign a prenuptial agreement before they tied the knot. She kept putting it off thinking that maybe she could put it off forever. On the day of the wedding, they were still fighting about the prenup – he refused to marry her if she didn’t sign it. The ceremony was delayed for one hour, but she eventually signed it and they got married.
A lot of people think that a prenup represents the idea that money is more important than love. Maybe also a lack of trust and faith in your partner and the relationship. And of course it’s horribly unromantic. How does the concept of a prenup fit into a Cinderella-Prince Charming story?! But would you feel differently if you were extremely wealthy and the person you were marrying was poor? What if you came from wealth and your family pushed you to get a prenup to protect the family’s assets?
I read an article recently that said in this day and age, it’s just a practical safeguard “just in case” the marriage doesn’t work out. It doesn’t mean that you love your partner any less. And you don’t necessarily have to be wealthy to have a prenup. You’ll just go out with what you came in with. It’s the easiest and fairest way to divvy up assets in a complicated situation. With the divorce rate at over 50% in the US who’s to say that your marriage is one of the ones that’ll make it.
To tell you the truth, I don’t have a firm position on prenuptual agreements… then again I don’t really have m(any) assets. Mr. Bee on the other hand hates prenups. He thinks that they represent a lack of commitment to the relationship. Marriage is not just about love – it’s a lifelong commitment. He thinks the only circumstance in which a prenup may be justified is when the relationship arose out of an affair.
I can’t say that I’m opposed to prenups, but I am a hopeless romantic. I know I would be very hurt and offended if asked to sign one.
MY DISPOSABLE CAMERA NIGHTMARE. DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU.
Last week, I picked up my disposable camera pictures from the wedding. Some of the rolls weren’t able to be processed at all, more than half the prints didn’t come out and the most of the ones that did were of very poor quality. The culprit?
Evidently the company I purchased the disposable cameras from taped film onto old film cartridges. I think they bought film in bulk and then taped them onto recycled film cartridges. See this label? It’s a sticker they printed themselves and put over an old Kodak film cartridge. (Ilford is a brand of film.)
Do you see the crease down the middle on the white tape on the film? When this was put into the developing machine, the tape was too thick for the machine to cut through. The machine jammed and the entire roll was exposed and lost forever.
These are wedding cameras – a once in a lifetime event!! I feel so ripped off!!! All those priceless pictures…. gone.
I’ve read warnings about wedding disposable cameras – how you should have pictures from a disposable camera printed first to see the quality. But I was busier than a bee and I decided at the last minute to have disposable cameras. I never thought that it would happen to me! I’d recommend just buying those Kodak or Fujifilm disposable cameras. At least you’ll know they work. Here’s a template you can print to make your own disposable camera covers.
I’m sending a copy of this blog to the camera company. I’m waiting for their response.
Thank goodness for digital cameras or I might really have been devastated. My friends have sent me digital pictures through shutterfly, ophoto, and imagestation. I’ve printed pics through all of these sites and photoexperts – I want to see which one comes out best. I’ve received my pics from photoexperts and ofoto so far. The ones from ofoto are a little bit better, but not much. Here’s an overview of the sites:
- lets you download condensed image files
- lets you make adjustments such as cropping, red eye removal, add borders
- prints are 25 cents each but if you prepay for prints, they’re as cheap as 19 cents each. I paid 20 cents.
- no photo adjustment options
- lets you download condensed image files
- 25 cents per print
- lets you download full size images
- no photo adjustment features
- 19 cents per print (on sale for 17 cents right now)
- you can avoid shipping charges by picking up your prints from cvs stores
- no photo adjustment options
- 9 cents per print, but $1.99 developing fee
I think I’ll also check out Snapfish. I’m still sorting through all the pictures. I’m making a photojam for everyone who attended and couldn’t attend the wedding. You can try a limitied version of the software for free – it’s pretty cool. It lets you add music and effects to your pictures and turns them into a story. My friends and family love them whenever I make one.
I know I promised pictures…. I’m still going through them!
In retrospect there were many things that I would have done differently the wedding day. But you’re just so busy that you don’t have the time to think about or do them. These are the biggest regrets and the biggest hits from our wedding… maybe they’ll be helpful for you.
What I would have done differently…
1. I should have spent 10 minutes walking around and taking pictures of the little details like the menus, photo collage, tissue packets, drink menus etc. When I take pictures I’m always thinking about my blog in the back of my mind so I take pictures of everything. I want to tell a story and make the reader feel like they were there with me. I put so much work into each little detail and I wanted to document everything. This is my single biggest regret.
2. I should have saved the placecards (specifically mine and Mr. Bee’s) so I could scrapbook them. I didn’t save any menus either.
3. I should have gotten another hair and make-up trial. I understand now why people get up to 6 trials. My hair and make-up was ok at the trial – I didn’t love it. But I just figured that it would be ok on my wedding day. Boy was I wrong. You must LOVE your hair and make-up otherwise you won’t be happy the entire day. In fact, you’ll probably cry. On the plus side, since I started the day off with such a disaster, the subsequent things that went wrong didn’t faze me as much.
4. Don’t leave any preparations til the last day if you are having guests stay with you before the wedding. You should be able to relax the day before your wedding, which I wasn’t able to do because I hadn’t finished all my projects. Having guests stay with us turned out to be a mixed blessing though because I am so in love with my new niece and nephew and I got to know Mr. Bee’s sisters.
5. I should have designated a person to go around and take polaroids of the guests for our polaroid guestbook so I would have a shot of all our guests. Not everyone took a picture of themselves and my ringbearer took off with the camera for some of the night. The wish cards that were filled out and polaroids that were taken turned out great. We loved reading them after the wedding.
6. The number one problem I read about weddings in messageboards is with the car/limo being late. Our car was 40 minutes late. I would recommend telling the car company a pick-up time 30 minutes to one hour earlier than the actual time you need the car.
7. Because I was late, Mr. Bee and I didn’t get to spend some time alone together before going out to take pictures like we had planned.
Things that we did right…
1. Having a day of wedding coordinator. I would have paid double for the peace of mind they offered me. There were many crises but they handled all of them perfectly. They were the first ones to arrive and the last ones to leave – staying until the firefighters got my parents out of the elevator.
2. Have a wedding dress attendant when going around the city to take pictures. My friends yumbear and You_and_I_Both were a big help fixing my dress, holding my flowers, helping me get in and out of the car…. You got a lot of things going on – you need an assistant… or two.
3. Serving white wine and water to guests before the ceremony started. It loosened up the atmosphere and gave guests a chance to mingle.
4. I made a photo collage of most of our guests and displayed it on an easel at the entrance. It gave guests something to do before the ceremony started and they had great fun looking for their picture. I color copied my 35 mm pictures and printed my digital pics on my printer so I could crop them without destroying the originals.
5. Having a really short ceremony. My bridesmaids thanked me because it’s hard to stand up there. We were also having a paebaek ceremony so a short ceremony was nice.
6. The paebaek ceremony. The company I used did a fantastic job and everyone LOVED it.
7. Including a description of the paebaek ceremony in our programs.
8. Putting vaseline on my teeth so lipgloss wouldn’t stain my teeth. I’m not used to wearing lip gloss and it really gets on your teeth. This is an excellent trick.
9. The disposable cameras and poems. My ringbearer probably single handedly used at least 3 cameras but I saw guests using them and I think some great shots will come from them.
10. Everyone loved the newsletters because we gave them details about our wedding party, our honeymoon and a timeline of our entire relationship. We placed them on each chair before the guests entered the reception area.
11. The tissue packets for the guests’ “tears of joy.”
12. Working together to create the perfect seating chart and putting the placecards at each setting. This took a lot of thinking on our part, but a big part of the success of the wedding was seating the right people together. Having designated seating was so much better than having guests carry their placecards over to their table and letting them sit wherever they wanted.
13. Signature drinks. We put the drink recipes in frames on the bar and guests ordered them all night. I think we went through 12 bottles of Starr African Rum. Love Potion was so yummy.
14. The Polaroid wishing well was great but we should have had an attendant for it.
15. The bathroom baskets. People really used the stuff in them… specifically the tampons.
16. Going around to each table and thanking everyone for coming. We got to meet friends and family from each side that we hadn’t met before. Our wedding planner thought that it took up too much time at her wedding, but I’m really glad we did it.
17. Not having a head table. Made it easier to just be comfortable and mingle with all our friends and family.
18. Having a band and a dj. The band did a great job – people were on the dance floor all night. The dj for the last 2 hours really turned the dancing up a notch. My flowergirl danced for 3 hours straight without a single break. I don’t think there was a single person who didn’t dance. This is a miracle for an Asian wedding!!!
19. Staying at the Ritz Carlton. I’d never stayed at a 5 star hotel before, but the Ritz was only $230 a night and a couple of blocks from our apartment. I booked a city view room and they upgraded us to a harbor view room with the Statue of Liberty right out our window because it was our wedding night. The service was absolutely impeccable. A+. You deserve to be pampered a bit on your wedding night.
20. Our wedding was from 5:00 pm – 11:00 pm. It was the perfect length of time.
21. Leaving for our honeymoon 2 days after the wedding so we had time to rest, hang out with our family, and pack.
And we’re off to Spain today. See you next week!!!!
I always knew that I wouldn’t do a traditional guestbook because you’re never going to look at it once the wedding is over. Here are some great guestbook alternative ideas.
Sticker picture guestbooks.
Guestbooks with precut inserts for polaroids.
I’m using the following for our own wish table.
A List of Start-Offs for Guestbook
1. For a long and loving marriage…
2. My wedding wish for you…
3. May you have…
4. Always remember…
5. Always make sure to…
6. Marriage is like…
7. Always say…
8. Don’t forget to…
9. Never say….
10. Love means….
11. Marriage means….
12. Never underestimate….
13. One advantage of marriage is…
14. Marriage requires…
15. A good marriage is based on….
16. To prepare for marriage, one should….
17. The formula for a successful marriage is…
18. On your 1st anniversary don’t forget to…
19. After the reception remember to…
20. The most important thing to do on your wedding night is…
21. My wish for your honeymoon is…
22. When walking down the isle remember that…
23. Your first kiss as husband and wife should be…
24. As a husband you must…
25. As a wife you must…
26. In my experience I have found that marriage…
27. I hope that the future holds…
28. In 10 years I think you will…
29. I predict that…
30. The key to a happy life is…
31. When things are going less than perfect remember to…
32. Before going to bed you must always….
33. When you wake up in the morning always…
34. After an argument…
35. Love is like…
36. No matter what always…
37. Having a husband is like…
38. Having a wife is like…
39. Now that you are married you must…
40. The recipe for a sweet marriage includes…
41. May your days be…
42. May your nights be…
43. When it comes to household chores…
44. When it comes to balancing the budget…
45. To love someone means…
46. The biggest surprise about marriage is…
47. The best thing about marriage is…
48. The best thing about being a husband is…
49. The best thing about being a wife is…
50. The worst thing about being a husband is…
51. The worst thing about being a wife is…
52. When he snores you can always…
53. When she steals the blankets you can always…
54. Upon the birth of your first child remember to…
55. When the honeymoon is over…
56. The most important thing in a marriage is…
57. On your first Christmas…
58. On your first New Years…
59. On your first Thanksgiving…
60. When dealing with the in-laws remember…
61. Make sure you always take time to…
62. What ever you do never…
63. A great way to apologize…
64. After your first big fight…
65. Don’t ever forget…
66. To spark romance…
67. Marriage is not…
68. To live happily…
69. Happiness is…
70. Look forward to…
71. It’s not true that…
72. You’ll discover that real love is…
73. You will discover…
74. If you don’t like something…
75. If you like something…
76. It’s never too late…
77. The future holds…
78. Don’t be afraid to…
79. Everyone thinks that…
80. You don’t get to choose…
81. The best relationship is the one that…
82. May you become…
83. May you not become…
Our guest book is this photo frame.
We’d love to have you sign your name
And write, perhaps, a line or two
By which we may remember you.
Then, when our wedding day has passed,
Our mem’ries of this day will last,
For when we look at it, we’ll see
Kind words from friends and family!
Remember to buy a special ceramic marker for these plate guestbooks.
I’m doing disposable cameras on each table. This is a cute idea – provide guests with a list of shots like a photo scavenger hunt.
1. Messiest cake eater
2. DJ sticking his tounge out
3. Specific tables when they don’t know you are taking the picture
4. Best dancer
5. Smokers banned outside
6. The B and G when they think no one is watching (not during the first dance)
7. Photographer taking your picture (the guest)
8. Cutest older couple
9. Person who traveled the furthest
10. Youngest person (if children are invited)
11. Close up of flowers
12. People decorating the car (or finished product if this is done in your area)
14. Bride or groom talking to a guest
15. Group photo of any group you choose (all people wearing red, all cousins, all work friends, etc)
16. Oldest and youngest together
18. People least likely to get married
19. Cutest tattoo
20. Most generations in one photo
21. Person with most children
22. Couple with the closest anniversary
23. Child under a table
24. Next couple to get married
25. Bride and groom holding hands
26. Groom playing with ring
27. Groom watching bride from a distance
28. Groom and bride laughing
29. Oddest/neastest shoes
30. Wackiest hair
31. Quietest guest
32. Biggest smile
33. Hungriest person
34. Bridesmaids telling a secret
35. Groomsman dancing
36. The groomsman and bridesmaid who aren’t dating, but should
37. The mother of the bride fixing the bride’s dress or hair
38. The father of the bride watching his daughter with a smile
39. Worst dancer
40. A toast
41. Special group dance (hokey pokey, chicken dance)
42. Anniversary dance
43. Someone signing the guest book or what have you
44. Bride and groom introducing the wedding party
45. Picture of ushers’ table
46. Picture of parents’ table
47. Picture of sweetheart table
48. Bride dancing with a group of girls
49. Groom laughing with a group of guys
50. Bouquet toss/hand off
51. First dance
52. Ring bearer dancing
53. Flower girl dancing with her dad
54. Grandparents watching the dancing
55. Grandparents dancing
56. Grandparents talking to each other
57. Cutting the cake
58. Father of the bride’s speech
59. Someone with the greatest laugh.
60. Someone as tall as a great giraffe.
61. Someone with a camera, taking a shot.
62. Someone who look like, he?s way too hot.
63. Someone looking very sexy.
64. Someone looking very messy.
65. Someone looking very stern.
66. Someone on the dance floor, making a turn.
67. Someone whispering to the ears of another.
68. Someone dancing with his or her mother.
69. Someone with a funny facial expression.
70. Someone with an action sure to make an impression.
71. Someone fixing his or her attire.
72. Someone running as if pants on fire.
73. Someone caught by surpise.
74. Someone saying their goodbyes.
75. Someone avoiding catching the garter.
76. Someone like a mischief starter.
77. someone avoiding catching the bouquet.
78. A group of kids, out at play.
79. A group of goofballs doing their thing.
80. An older couple, with their wedding rings.
81. A group pic of everyone at your table.
82. A goofy one, if you’re all able.
83. A couple dipping on the dance floor.
84. A picture of your favorite decor.
85. A picture of two sharing a kiss.
86. A picture of two with the look of bliss.
At first, I didn’t want to do the whole traditional Korean ceremony thing because in the Korean weddings I’ve attended, it usually took so much time away from the reception and the guests. The traditional Korean ceremony usually takes place after the wedding ceremony and is limited to family members.
Often, by the time the bride and groom are done with the traditional ceremony, the guests have already finished eating and stolen the centerpieces. But that’s due largely to the majority of the wedding guests being friends of the parents (the leaving immediately after the meal and the centerpiece stealing). Since our wedding will be mostly friends, I think they’ll really like it if we incorporate this traditional ceremony into the reception program for everyone to see instead of limiting it to family only.
So while I was in Korea, I went shopping for a hanbok (traditional korean dress) with my mom. Most of the shops didn’t have many samples I could try on as hanboks are usually custom made. It was difficult for me to make a decision looking only at fabric because I’ve never worn one before. I just knew that I wanted the skirt to be red because I looooove red.
I really liked how clean white looked on red. The matching sash and skirt style below is supposedly an old style – these days people opt for sashes that are different colors from the skirt and the top. But when I tried on similar dresses to the ones below, the color didn’t seem to be just right for my skin tone. My face got lost in the white.
Blue on red is a popular choice.
Mother of the bride traditionally wears purple.
Mother of the groom traditionally wears blue.
Traditional bride’s hanboks were green on top and red on bottom. But these days you can pretty much choose whatever color you want.
Grooms usually wear matching/complementary colors to the bride.
I tried on a pastel yellow and red hanbok and the color combination worked really well with my skintone. The dress is kinda like the one on the left below. I still haven’t decided what color to do the sash. Navy? Red? Yellow?
My mom is having mine and Mr. Bee’s made in Korea and bringing it to America.
Here’s a different style that a lot of people choose as well. Looks really similar to the hanbok Alice Kim wore.
Besides, I’ve never worn a hanbok before. If not now, when will I ever get to wear one? I’m kinda excited.
Today is the one year anniversary!!
Can you imagine? In the past year we met, we got engaged, I moved to New York from LA and now we’re planning our wedding. What a whirlwind!
We got our Save the Date magnets yesterday and they look great! I already put a couple on our refrigerator! 🙂