Weddingbee Blog

This past weekend was my “surprise” shower (I’ll post more about that later). A friend thought it was hilarious that I ended up with three of the same pots even though I registered for one. Specifically because my Aunt bought me a pot I registered for, from another store!

I am all for going off the registry and picking something different (surprise gifts!), but going to *another* store and buying something the person registered for, what did she think was going to happen?! What is the point of registry?!

Anyway, the New York Times offers some guidance on registry dos and don’ts.

Mr. Butterfly and I had planned on registering in the summer, when we are both out of school. When we decided this, we figured we had plenty of time - but it’s June already and I haven’t even begun to think about what I need/want for our new apartment! (We will be moving to a bigger place as soon as we get married.)

I figured that a lot of the adults that are coming will give money because that’s what Asians do. But we still have to register for some basic stuff - towels, linens, pillows, some kitchen stuff, and maybe some luggage.

We are thinking of registering at the following places:

Bed Bath & Beyond
Crate & Barrel
Macy’s

I think that should cover all of the bed, kitchen and luggage items. Unfortunately for Mr. Butterfly, I nixed the idea of registering at Sony.

What other places can you recommend for registries and how was your experience there?

Back in the day, there were no such things as registries. Nowadays every engaged couple sets up one or two or even more registries so they can receive the gifts they want/need and make gift giving easier for their guests.

Several wedding invitations Mr. Bee and I have recently received, have included registry information. All traditional etiquette says that including registry information with invitations is a faux pas - you’re supposed to spread the information via word of mouth.

But including the information makes things easier for the bride and groom and the guests. Will things change in the next five, ten, fifteen years? Do you think including registry information with wedding invitations will become the norm?

New York based designer Kate Spade is most famous for her chic handbags, but I love her stationery, shoes, and colorful dishes too!

Fun, fresh, and feminine.

We featured Let Me Tell You’s Bride-to-Be scrapbook earlier this week - a product we absolutely love! Karin just told about their latest product hitting stores this month:

Me & My Honey is a wedding, honeymoon and anniversaries keepsake album and suitcase that helps a couple chronicle their life adventures, from wedding night through the honeymoon, each anniversary and any milestone in between.

As a huge fan of scrapbooking, I adore their products! They make scrapbooking memories easy for everyone. A wonderful gift idea for any bride.

Yesterday I graduated from law school; today I’m studying for the bar. In between I received several gifts.

From my aged grandparent — a check.
From my father’s youngest sister — a truly gigantic chunk of amber surrounded by space alien looking silver accents. I think it’s supposed to be a pendant.
From my parents — blinging diamond hoops that would be appropriate on Kimora Lee Simmons. At night. During a fight.
From my father’s oldest sister — The Complete Kama Sutra.

Clearly I am an ungrateful wretch, but just you wait until your 70 year old aunt gives you the complete Kama Sutra. This makes me REALLY REALLY glad registries exist for weddings.

The Spring Bridal Season is in full bloom, come celebrate with us!

Featuring Reem Acra, Sylvia Weinstock Cakes, Laura Mercier Makeup, Indiana Market & Catering, Artfool Flowers and Karen McDonald of True Balance Dance Studios.

• Games
• Prizes
• Goodie bags

Click Here to R.S.V.P. Today

WHEN:
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.

WHERE:
Michael C Fina
545 Fifth Avenue at 45th Street
New York, NY
(212) 557-2500

Visit www.michaelcfina.com for more information.

from theknot newsletter:

Register with Linens-N-Things and you’ll automatically be entered to win a weekend trip for two to Beverly Hills to meet celebrity wedding planner Mindy Weiss.

The prize package includes:

• Airfare for two and limo service
• Two nights stay at luxurious Beverly Hills Hotel
• Lunch at a celebrity hotspot for wedding planning with Mindy
• Afternoon personalizing your registry with Mindy at Linens-N-Things
• Mindy’s Ultimate Wedding Planner and Emergency Wedding Kit
• 50 second prize winners will be awarded Mindy’s Ultimate Wedding Planner

I wouldn’t register at Linens-N-Things just for a chance to meet Mindy Weiss, but I’d love to have her plan my wedding!

These Bride & Groom pillowcases are a great idea for a shower gift. $36 a pair at tdadventurer.

For something a little more whimsical, the site also carries pillowcases for: King/Queen, Romeo/Juliet, Adam/Eve, Popeye/Olive, Beauty/Beast, and more.

(source: weddingchannel NY/NJ 06)

On our recent post about how much to spend on wedding gifts, several readers asked whether or not more should be spent on a gift when attending a wedding as a couple.

I didn’t expect a more expensive gift from the couples that attended our wedding (the vast majority were couples). And generally I stick to my $150/gift rule whether I attend a wedding alone or with Mr. Bee.

But maybe it’s because Mr. Bee and I don’t really have any mutual friends and attend weddings together as each other’s “dates.” Our wedding guests were also either Mr. Bee’s friends or my friends. I wonder if attending the wedding of a mutual friend would be different.

About.com’s wedding newsletter today had some excellent suggestions for inexpensive wedding gifts. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to buy a nice gift - just put a little more thought and creativity into the gift and presentation.

One of the suggestions was to frame the wedding invitation and that reminded me of a really thoughtful wedding gift I received from Mr. Bee’s cousin.

She made me this jewelry box with our invitation inlaid into the top. That’s a mirror on the inside (you can see my cottage cheese ceilling reflected in it). A very thoughtful gift that makes you think of the giver each time you use it.

Every culture has their own traditions regarding engagement gifts from families. My culture and Mr. Butterfly’s cultures are very simliar in this regard, as we are Korean and Chinese, respectively. However, I think his family is much more “American” than my family because they are not insisting on any Chinese traditions regarding gifts, engagement, etc.

My mother, on the other hand, wants to do it the Korean way. Apparently in Korea when a couple gets engaged, the family of the bride provides the groom with a nice watch and a suit. If the groom has a good pedigree (good education, profession, money, family), then the bride’s family is expected to provide much more. It’s called the 3 keys: 1 car key, 1 house key, and 1 key to some type of country club. Well, that’s what my mom told me anyway.

I don’t put too much stock in the 3 keys thing, but my parents did get Mr. Butterfly the watch and the suit. Instead of a regular suit, however, I convinced my mom to get him the tux that he will wear for his wedding (cut down on costs!!).

The watch.

The tux.

What do you think?

Mr. Butterfly’s mom also got me a nice gift a few weeks ago too.

So what are your culture’s traditions on engagement gifts?

The I Do Foundation gives up to 8% of guests’ wedding registry purchases to your selected charity. Simply register your wedding with I Do Foundation and then register with one of their partner stores like Macy’s, Target, Weddingchannel, and Sur La Table (my favorite!). Guests will be able to access your registry from your personal I Do wedding website. Plus all this is at no cost to you or your guests!

They also offer the option of creating a charity registry so guests can donate to your favorite charity in lieu of giving a wedding gift. And you can also register for “donation favors” which allows you to make donations to your charity of choice in honor of your guests. This is a sample donation card:

Some totally awesome ideas. And all donations are also tax deductible!

We still haven’t sent a gift for the last wedding that Mr. Bee and I attended. Actually my excuse is that the bride is moving to New York after the honeymoon and I didn’t want the gift to get lost - I only give gift cards to the store they’re registered with for couples who live in Manhattan. A lesson I learned after our small apartment was filled with gifts that we just didn’t have the room for.

One of the most common questions people ask me is, “How much should I spend on a wedding gift? Do I have to spend as much as they spent on my dinner? Do I have to spend more if it’s a fancy wedding / less if it’s a casual wedding?” Generally your budget and how close you are to the bride and groom should determine how much you spend. “No but how much would you spend?” they ask.

Most of the time I spend around $150 on a wedding gift. For my closest friends, I might spend up to $200. For family, even more. For someone I’m not as close to, I would spend around $100. And for a big church wedding where everyone is invited and/or I’m not particularly close to the couple or a coworker that invites the whole office and/or I’m not particularly close to, I might spend $50-$75.

I’ve read statistics on several different occasions that $150 was around the average spent on a wedding gift (which I thought was a little high). But when I was doing research for this blog, I came up with $85 and $70-$100 as being closer to the national average.

I’m sorry if you’re sick of them, but we’re addicted to our new polls feature!

We’ve talked about the Dyson vacuum here on weddingbee several times. It’s often considered the most desired wedding registry item. Now thenest has a review of 7 upright vacuums on their site and the verdict is in - the Dyson rocks.