We have been engaged for eight months now. We are getting married in six, and I’ve known our date for six months too.
I have not done save the dates.
I have not done save the dates because I have a complicated train of thought around save the dates (even though Shamrock really wants them) and also because I am a slacker.
We have two couples we are friends with, both engaged after us, and both getting married before. I got one save the date today and the other yesterday. Both were combined Christmas card/save the dates.
Image via Etsy / No longer available
Lest you think my family (virtually none of whom live in Chicago) are going to be caught unaware of our date, I did make a website. Inspired by Mrs. Camel (who in turn was inspired by Mrs. Wallaby), I made a website on Wix.com. In fact, purchasing a custom domain name was one of the very first things Shamrock did (we have really generic names, so this was hard). I passed it on to my parents, who dutifully passed it on to their families (who I think had already been told the date anyhow). Many of my family members have already let us know they are or are not coming, so awareness isn’t an issue there. Shamrock’s family may not be as aware of our date, but it’s definitely out there.
Personal screenshot / Site created on Wix.com
Hence my stance that we don’t really need them—everyone already knows our date.
My friends know our date. Or they can ask one of the bridesmaids, or me. And of course Friend S knows she’s invited. But A & J? And C? I invite them to our annual Christmas party. I like them. But we’ve don’t hang out one on one. If we have space, I’d love to have them at our wedding. But if we don’t, I’m OK with that—they aren’t must-invites. But all these people know each other. I don’t want them to feel second class if S gets a save the date and they don’t, and then get invited to the wedding. Awkward!
I was talking to my sister about save the dates, and told her BM Mathlete suggested we do them only for family and bridal party. But those are the people in the loop, so they don’t really need the date saved.
MOH Sis is really practical. And yet she said she loves save the dates, ESPECIALLY if she isn’t as close with the couple. Why? She knows if she’ll be invited or not.
I hadn’t even thought of that, but it is really helpful. I already knew both dates for the couples getting married in May, but now I know we’ll be invited (granted, I kind of knew, especially since I introduced one of the couples!), and I won’t schedule anything to conflict.
So now I’m even more torn. I want to make Shamrock happy, but who do I send them to? How do I handle the people I’m pretty sure we’ll have room for, but may not? Did you do save the dates? Who received them?
- HS Math Teacher
- Wedding Date:
- June 2014
- Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL