At some point after I asked my favorite girls to be a part of my bridal party, Mr. Tractor asked his groomsmen. He asked them each in person—he wouldn’t let me come, but I assume there were man hugs and pats on the back and lots of “bros” and “dudes.” To cancel out the man hugs, he also gave them each a bottle of alcohol. By the time it was all over, the total number of man hugs given equaled five. Five handsome gentlemen who are wonderful friends to both Mr. T and me will stand up with him when we get married. Now, if you remember carefully, I have three lovely ladies on my side.
If you know anything about me by now, you know that I am all for bucking tradition. If I was to share wedding-planning words of wisdom with a newly engaged friend, I would say, “Do what’s important to you, leave out the things that aren’t, and don’t do anything because ‘that’s what you do at a wedding.'” But my inner stage manager was telling me that things would look better if we had equal numbers on each side. And my inner emotional sap was telling me there were two very important people who had been left out of my bridal party.
And that was how I ended up with two bridesmen. My very good friend from high school, Bridesman J, as well as my younger brother E, agreed to join my lovely ladies on my side of the wedding party. Of all of our nontraditional wedding decisions, this one seems to get the biggest reaction, usually from older family members.
The question people seem to love asking about our unconventional wedding party is, “But will they walk down the aisle together??” The short answer is no. But not because they are both men—it is because I think that forcing your friends to walk down the aisle arm-in-arm with someone they have potentially never met before is, frankly, a little weird. And for us, it falls into the aforementioned category of one of those things a lot of people do because “that’s what you do at a wedding.” More than likely, the members of our wedding party will each be walking down the aisle alone, and joining the rest of the “party people” at the altar.
Creating our unconventional wedding party was another one of those things that reading a lot of Weddingbee empowered me to do. Here are some posts by other bee bloggers that might help you find an arrangement that works for you! Miss Narwhal and Mrs. Crab each spoke about their modern wedding parties here and here. Mrs. Eagle and her wife each had one bridesmaid and one bridesman, and Mrs. Kettle spoke about the struggles of explaining her “bridal attendants” to family members.
Who did you include in your wedding party?
- Boston, MA
- Occupational therapist
- Smith Barn at Brooksby Farm