My Husband Does Not Want Any More Kids
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My husband and I have two kids. Before we got married, we were both on board for having at least three kids (I come from a big family of brothers and sisters, and I’d love four!), but now that we have two, my husband has changed his mind, largely in part to our age (I’m in my late 30s now and he’s in his 40s), his desire to travel more (which gets harder and harder with more kids in the picture), and a few other “typical” reasons that people give for having fewer kids rather than more. It took me a long time to come to grips with the reality that we’d only have two kids, but I’ve eventually (and happily) come to grips with it.
My husband is really, REALLY intent on not having more kids, to the point where it’s affecting our sex lives. He fears getting me pregnant so much to the point that, even with contraception (condoms), he’s admitted that he wants to have sex less, and I still find myself charting my ovulation, which is annoying because I’m not trying to have a baby. The obvious solution, to me, is vasectomy. He’s hesitant because he’s worried about feeling like he’s lost his manhood, but at the same time, he’s the one that doesn’t want more kids, and it’s clearly affecting our sex lives. Plus, it’s much less invasive than me getting my tubes tied. Is there anything I can say to him to convince him to go through with a vasectomy? It seems like no matter what I say, I’m met with hesitation.