Weddingbee Blog

At one point I wrote a pity-party post about not getting a bachelorette, even though I didn’t want to walk around town at night wearing a penis necklace.

Well, that all changed! My girls treated me to a lovely day just a few days before the wedding that was just right for me. It was the Wednesday before our Saturday wedding, and the day started with all of us driving to my coworker R’s house so I could try on my dress after the alterations! When I ordered the dress I was exactly between waist sizes (the only measurement that would affect my dress—the hips were free and even the smallest bust size available would need taking in), and I went with the larger size because it’s easier to take in than let out. It meant that the whole dress ended up being pretty big on me. Could I have gone with one size smaller? Probably, but I’m glad I didn’t risk it, especially when I have many friends who sew for a living.

The dress was perfect, apart from the bust still being a little big. R said she’d sew a different pair of cups in to the top and drop it off at my house later that day. Awesome!

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I’m aliiiive. (And Mr. Funnel Cake is too!) We both survived our Polterabends none the worse for wear. Sadly, I was having too much of a good time trying to understand Schwiizerdütsch socialising to be a good blogger and take photos. So what did I get into with Mr. Funnel Cake’s scouting friends on Saturday night?

Well, after I met the girls at a tram stop in Zürich, we walked up to one of the girls homes on the hill in Zürich with a spectacular view over the city. (Just imagine, it’s more fun that way!) We had a lovely little apéro with prosecco and my very favourite Paprika chips, which deserve their own photo because they are SO yummy.

(Source)

Mind you, this whole time I was listening and speaking Swiss German, with varying levels of success.
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Warning: this may not be suitable for work, as there are some photos of some plastic and papier-mâché male body parts.

Otherwise known as a bachelorette in some parts of the world, down here we call it a hens’ night, apparently for some unknown reason? I’m guessing it is due to all the plucking around all us women do, but honestly who knows?

Anyway, after the posh and delicate afternoon tea, the sun went down and the frivolity increased! The PG rating of the night went out the door and the six-foot “big bob” ended up in the toilet to startle the first person who walked into the bathroom—here he is in the spare room while we were getting ready:

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I’m baaa-aaaaaack! It’s been over a month since I shared the first portion of my bachelorette party with you guys, and that is embarrassing. It’s funny: I really thought that after the wedding, I’d have all the time in the world to blog, cook, play with my pets and do all the other things that I could barely squeeze in while wedding planning. But nope. Turns out all the important things I was pushing aside back then are still here, and they’ve been waiting very patiently for my full attention. But long weekends are wonderful things, so I have returned with more details from my Sex-and-the-City-themed bachelorette party. To see the first post about it, click here.

Now, as you may have seen in my title, this post is about the “hot mess” portion of the evening, and since I’ve been gone so long, I’m a little afraid that you newer ladies who don’t know me very well might see pictures of me licking a street sign and think less of me. So I’m going to throw in a photo from our wedding to kick things off. It’s one of a few teasers we got from our photographers. We are DYING to see the rest!

Photo by Raw Photo Design

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Shots, shots, sh, sh, sh, shots!

It’s bachelorette party time! I have to give you a little back story on the theme of the party. When I was a young Cucumber Sandwich, going to college in Washington, DC, I found myself hanging out with a certain demographic of the city. Those hunky men in uniform, to be exact! My friends and I always went to bars by the 8th and I Marine Corp barracks. We thought we were so cool because we were friends with Marines instead of frat guys. This little phase went on for about 2 years.

The theme of my bachelorette party was ’From Bravo to Bride’ because those lovely marines had a nickname for girls like us. Bravo Whiskey. I was so young and naive that I thought it was a cute pet name. Come to find out, it stand for Barracks Wh*re. Ooops. Sorry MamaCS!

I knew it was going to be a good time when I received this exciting invitation in the mail from BM Smoked Salmon. The invitation says:
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I had two criteria when planning my bachelorette party: I wanted to get my tan on and I wanted no penis shaped paraphernalia of any kind. Thankfully, the Bacon Bridesmaids are totally kick ass and delivered both in full! We threw around a million ideas, but ultimately settled on the very first one that was thrown around: a weekend on Cape Cod with nothing but beach time and Dunkin Donuts coffee to keep us happy.

I’m sure this sounds totally random since I live in Chicago, but all three of my stateside bridesmaids have some connection to New England and the Cape, so it was actually a really easy decision. The hardest part was coordinating all four of our schedules. Once the weekend was nailed down, the ladies set about finding the perfect beach town with a hotel under $300 a night that also allowed for four guests in a room. Fortunately, they are pretty resourceful and found the only place in town that fit the bill, the Beach Breeze Inn in West Harwich.

We ended up with only two bridesmaids at the bachelorette because MOH Bacon had a family emergency (don’t worry, her family is OK—it was just a bit dodgy for a bit), so the weekend was a little different than we’d originally planned, but it was still a great success.
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How can even describe my bachelorette party? Amazing? Hilarious? Best weekend ever? All of those things wrapped into one?

I mean, how could you not have a good time when you’re at the…

That’s right. We hit up J-Shore for my last weekend as a single Sparkler. And if I haven’t mentioned it before, I have THE GREATEST FRIENDS EVER. Seriously. A HUGE “thank you” to all of you who made this weekend so special and fun. I wish I could relive it again and again

I arrived at the Shore on Friday evening after a 2 hour plane ride, a 3 hour car ride, and a bag of pizza-flavored combos. I was excited.
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After an amazing bridal shower, we continued the fun by jumping right into my bachelorette party. Besides hanging out with my besties, there was only one thing I wanted to do for my bachelorette:

LASER TAG! Image from Barney Stinson dot net

I love laser tag and I have very competitive friends, so I knew this was going to be a fun activity for our group.

Apparently the vest/gun combo that Barney and Robin are sporting create an environment for spreading HPV (according to the laser tag people), so we used modified paintball guns as modeled by BM What’s Her Face:
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When we left off last time, we were heading to my house for a slumber party!

Awesome table decorations provided by the bridesmaids

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Last weekend was an epic soiree of great friends, artistic endeavors, and a good old fashioned slumber party. It was even better than I imagined it would be and I’m so thankful to have these memories for the rest of my life.

The activities started at Spaghetti Warehouse where we were seated in the sweet train car in the center of the restaurant:

My aunt made these cute little lollipop centerpieces:
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I already alluded to some of the bachelorette party plans going on for the High Wire wedding. But I thought I’d get into a little more detail on the girly slumber party going on at my house afterward.

I added a few necessary titles to our Netflix queue:

Bride Wars / Image via IMDB.com / Still via Fox International

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Alright, hive. Right now, I’m about 3 shades tanner than I usually am, my laundry is smelling super fresh, and I worked out for the first time in 2 weeks. Why all the fuss, you ask?

IT’S MY BACHELORETTE WEEKEND!!!

Wohooo! I’m a little excited (can you tell?). Mostly because I get to spend the whole weekend with these girls:

College buds at our first bachelorette together

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With so many guests pouring in from out of state and country throughout the week leading up to the big show, Waffle and I decided to have several events along the way to entertain and spend time with everyone. Starting on Wednesday we had lunches, dinners, shopping and even a night out two-steppin’ at the legendary Broken Spoke. Can I just say how happy I am again that I finished everything the weekend before things got rolling? Seriously, ladies, it makes a world of difference!

So, with all of the hugs, catching up and preliminary “Welcome to Austin” activities out of the way, it was time for us to get down and have some serious, crazy fun at our Stag and Hen Nights (bach and bachelorette parties)! Woohoo!

We started off with a small group at Ms. Pigeon’s house for a lingerie shower with ladies who were involved in the wedding. I just wasn’t sure I’d be comfortable opening boxes of naughty underpants and things in front of a large group. Then, there was a knock at the door…
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A bachelorette’s attire is not complete without some sort of headgear. In the festivities I have been involved in, this almost always means some sort of veil. They’re fun and add an extra dab of bridal to the occasion, so I love to include them for my friends.

The easiest way to create a veil in my experience is to buy a cute tiara and hot glue some tulle on it.

Princess Costumes (dot) com

The problem with this plan is that these tiaras are made for little girls and do not fit the head of a grown woman. They fit on your head for about .02 second before popping off.

So, for BM So and So’s bachelorette party last weekend, I knew I had to do something that would stay on her head while still being cute, fun, and personal. I started with these materials:

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I love bachelorette parties; they are always filled with drinks, fun people, good food, drinks, a healthy does of debauchery, and more drinks. But I do not love the standard bachelorette party gear. No, it’s not the phallic symbols that I shy away from (although I’m not one to insist on them), it’s the lack of options in the other gear:

Sources (clockwise): Target, Advantage Bridal, Amazon, and Bachelorette Party Superstore

They all have pink. Well, not all of them have pink, but the most widely available ones have pink. And not every girl wants pink on their sash.

Seeing this obstacle last year in preparing for MOH Cheerleader’s bachelorette party, I made the decision to make her sash using colors she liked (pink not included).
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