Weddingbee

I really wish I would have read this book earlier in my planning process. When I began planning I knew that I wanted to be as laid back as possible, like Schank wanted to be, but there were a lot of assumptions that I took for granted. I had only been to two weddings before and never really thought much about my options before beginning to plan our wedding. I assumed I needed to have a bridal party, assumed I needed to have a color palette, assumed I needed to have a bouquet. Many of these things Schank ended up having as well, but she really made me reconsider a lot of elements. Why do the bride and bridesmaids have to carry flowers?

She also writes about planning a Jewish wedding that incorporates her family’s culture, without focusing solely on religion. Although I am not Jewish, it was a great lesson in learning that you can pick and choose which traditions to include based on your relationship.

One of the things that made her arguments convincing was her inclusion of a lot of wedding history. When it came to choosing a dress, she researched the history and significance of the wedding gown. The same is true for the significance and history of many wedding elements such as the flowers, Hora, Chuppah, bridal party, and cake.

I only gave here 4.5 out of 5 arbitrary pineapples because at some points the book was a bit of a downer. I wanted to reach through the book and shake Schank and say “you said colors don’t matter, so why do they matter to you now?!” But, her honesty with getting a bit caught up in the wedding-ness of her wedding is what made me really love this book.

Anyone want my copy of A More Perfect Union (or want to trade)?

Also, thanks everyone for your suggestions on wedding related reading. I have ordered a 4 or 5 of your recommendations (one of which was $0.30!)
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After reading the book I thought you might appreciate a review from a certain bride-to-be with too much time on her hands.The author, Pamela Holm, writes about planning her second wedding. She has been a single mom for 16 years and decides that this is a wedding she wants to do “right.” The book is broken into sections, much like our blogs are here at Weddingbee, with a chapter entitled “The Dress” and another “The Guest List.” She describes many of the same issues that most brides go through during the planning process and the effect it has on her family-to-be. Her view of the wedding is pretty realistic with my favorite excerpt being the content of a postcard sent to their guest list:

“On the subject of gifts, we love burlwood clocks and brass-plated fondue dishes as much as the next happy couple, but aside from needing a toaster we have more than enough possessions to run a household. In lieu of gifts we would like to suggest you celebrate our marriage in one of the following ways.
A. Donate money to your favorite charity
B. Dance naked in a rainstorm
C. Call your mother once in a while, it won’t kill you”

Overall I would give “The Toaster Broke” 3 out of 5 pineapples (arbitrary, but cute, no?) a fun, quick read and sometimes quite funny, but she’s no David Sedaris.

Would anyone like to trade wedding reading materials? (or I can just give it to you if you have nothing to trade)

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This is how our ceremony was structured:

- Gathering Words
- Charge for the Couple
- Reading 1
- Declaration of Support
- Reading 2
- Vows
- Prelude to Ring Exchange
- Ring Exchange
- Reading 3
- Reading 4
- Final Blessing

(The first reading was a selection from Ernest Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms. A bit of an odd choice, I’ll admit, since the man has a rep for being a misogynist, but what can I say? I’m an English professor and I have a soft spot for Papa. Then my sister read Rafael Alberti’s poem “Sabes tanto de mi,” in Spanish. We also asked Mr. P’s stepfather to recite the Seven Blessings, and finally, my brother and his wife read the text of our ketubah. Only the Seven Blessing reading came from the book: I should clarify that we did have to look elsewhere for the other ones).

The book lists other possible readings though, and lots of other options to incorporate, such as opening prayers, remembrances, friendship circles, ways to involve children and many more. It really is invaluable.

I’d love to give away my copy to a happy bride. I made a couple of pencil marks in it, but I have erased them as dutifully as possible (I hope I didn’t miss one!), and the book is asking for a nice home where it can be of help. If you’re interested, just comment below and at the end of the day, I’ll ask Mr. Petunia to randomly pick the winning number!

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I spent an hour or so at Barnes and Noble leafing through it, and marking down the RGB and CMYK colors that I thought would work for our invitations. It definitely helped get me on the right track.

What design books have you found helpful while planning your wedding?
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BUT, there are just enough new, fresh ideas and ways of looking at things that I think the book itself, although a bit pricey, is definitely worth looking through.

So far, my favorite tidbit is about a company in Philadephia, Well Spun Wedding, that can create a custom wedding DVD for you from footage shot of your wedding by friends and/or family for around $500.

Ladies, this is amazing information and I fully intend to do more investigative research on the process.

What magazines/books have you found to have the freshest inspiration/ideas for your wedding?
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As a wedding magazine junkie, my favorite chapter was naturally “How Can a Magazine Cost $12.95 and Not Have Pictures of Naked People in It?” Seem crazy that the author compares bridal mags to porn? Consider this list from page 3:

Similarities Between Bridal Magazines and Porn Magazines

1. Both contain lots of pictures of women in outfits they don’t normally wear.

2. There are seemingly hundreds of different magazines in both genres, each of which contains exactly the same thing, This fact, however, does not deter you from buying multiple publications.

3. Each gender justifies the purchase as “educational.”

4. The ads in each magazine cause you to say, “Seriously — who would ever buy that?”

5. In a pinch, back issues can be effective.

There are actually dozens of favorite lines and sections that I was tempted to quote here — so hard to pick just one. Instead, I’ll just say “Trust me. Get thee to a library* and check this out asap!”

*(I’m all about libraries. But if you prefer to own, there are 2 copies in the Amazon bargain sale for $4.99. Or the regular Amazon price is $13.22. If in doubt, you can always justify it as a gift for what’s-his-name…)

I’ll post on more of my favorite wedding books as I finish them. What’s your favorite — anything you recommend that we must check out?
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