Miss Scooter, IndianapolisAge and Occupation: 27, IT Project ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Operations ManagerEngagement Date: July 27, 2012Wedding Date: September 2013Venue: Indianapolis ArtsgardenAbout Me: I am a fun-loving list-obsessed gal who enjoys watching the Food Network on Saturday mornings and then butchering the recipes in real life. I have fun blogging, chatting with my friends, and trying new crafts. My fiancé enjoys gentlemanly pursuits (a fancy way of saying whiskey and golf) but also likes his quiet personal time. We met at Purdue University and are planning a fun-filled wedding with many personal touches. We are so excited to share this journey with you.
Finalizing our budget had to be the hardest thing for us to do for a multitude of reasons. One of the main reasons being neither Mr. Scooter nor I have had to really consider one another when making financial decisions. When Mr. Scooter wanted to spend a ridiculous amount of his hard earned money on ONE golf club…I had no say in it. Although I had my personal opinions, I kept them to myself since I didn’t want him to comment on my frequent runs to get outfits. Shortly after Before even getting engaged, I started researching activities to do once you are engaged. My search engine was filled with “you’re engaged, now what” or “top 10 things to do after your engagement.” I wasn’t surprised that every one said SET A BUDGET! So now, we had to decide how our money would be used…interesting.
OK, that is simple enough…right? Well, for me it wasn’t. If you are a newly engaged person (or soon to be) don’t feel bad if you don’t have a starting point to creating a budget, the Scooters were in the same boat. So I want to walk you through how we created our budget.
Research percentage breakdown of weddings. We researched the typical standard percentage breakdown of the average wedding. This allowed us to understand the baseline of what has been spent. Since we are both analytical people, we want to easily be able to know if we are getting a “bargain” by going with one option or another. We used free resources from websites like The Knot and Cost of Wedding.
Add to the list provided by the online resources. So now that we had an idea of large “buckets” that comprise a wedding, we sat down to see if there were any obvious sections we thought we should add. After all, it is going to be our wedding and we wanted to have a comprehensive list of what we want. We actually didn’t add anything to the list. Instead, we made notes of what should be included in a section. (For example, we will put the photo booth in with the entertainment/music.)
Prioritize the list and adjust percentage accordingly. After the list is compiled, we then prioritized the list. This actually helped in creating our theme. Since flowers were not that important, we were both OK with slashing the flowers budget because we would only need them for the ceremony. This gave us the latitude to tell people “We are going to have a flowerless reception.” Conversely, we found that cocktail and dinner (read: bar package) was really important. We also knew that would come with a hefty price tag, so we decided to increase our reception/ceremony percentage. We also kept items like miscellaneous and “just in case” because things come up and we don’t want those thing to break our budget drastically.
Determine if you will have any help paying. In order to get an accurate picture of what you are working with, you have to know if any family members are going to help with it. The Scooters went into the planning process with the intention of paying for it by ourselves. **news alert** I am somewhat of a control freak, so I didn’t want to accept money and then have to deal with people’s opinions. Funny thing happened after we started planning our big day—both of our families agreed to put money toward our event. Papa Scooter’s contribution really caught us off guard. It was given as a “here is a lump sum, do with it what you want, just remember a wedding is one day and a marriage is a lifetime.” That was sound advice and I have taken it to heart. Like Papa Scooter, Mr. Scooter’s parents graciously agreed to give us money to use as we wanted.
Pick a figure that you can live with. We reviewed our long-term financial goals to pick the big number. As cliché as this sounds, we had to determine if we were willing to spend our proverbial “last dime” on this wedding. It was an easy decision for us that we wanted a quality experience for our wedding guests, but it was/is more important that our marriage be set up for success, which meant that we needed to reserve money after paying wedding expenses to go toward paying off debt.
Populate your spreadsheet. Adjust your percentage breakdown (step one) based on your prioritized list (step two) to fall within your final amount (step five).
Review the final budget to see if you can live with it.
I created a few picture to give you an idea of what we did. This is not our final budget number (I am going to save that for the recaps), but the percentage breakdowns are our forecasts.
Miss Road Trip, TallahasseeAge and Occupation: 36, Writer, Artist & BookkeeperFiance's Age and Occupation: 47, AccountantEngagement Date: September 30, 2011Wedding Date: November, 2013Venue: Honey Lake PlantationAbout Me: Born in Louisiana (I share my birthday with the state, which I think is pretty cool), I'm a Florida transplant who has (mostly) stopped trying to escape the state and surrendered to its particular charms. I believe in the power of creativity, cocktails, (parenthetical asides), and laughter (usually at my own expense). Riding shotgun, Mr. Road Trip is a Nebraska native who still hasn't gotten used to the Florida version of "winter" but loves woodworking as much as I love paper and paints. We're a couple of sci-fi and gaming geeks who always break for wine tastings. Our wine-a-plenty morning wedding will be small with lots of DIY touches. And lots of bacon.
Fact: weddings can be very expensive. And no matter how conscious we try to be of the budget we have to work with, it’s hard to escape feeling overwhelmed as we flip through magazines with prices on every photo or browse vendors’ websites and check out their rate sheets (if they even have them).
So today I’m writing out a few “permission slips” for us budget brides that will hopefully remind us that it’s OK! to do what we have to do to create the celebration we want on our own terms and not those of the looming wedding industry.
Miss Road Trip, TallahasseeAge and Occupation: 36, Writer, Artist & BookkeeperFiance's Age and Occupation: 47, AccountantEngagement Date: September 30, 2011Wedding Date: November, 2013Venue: Honey Lake PlantationAbout Me: Born in Louisiana (I share my birthday with the state, which I think is pretty cool), I'm a Florida transplant who has (mostly) stopped trying to escape the state and surrendered to its particular charms. I believe in the power of creativity, cocktails, (parenthetical asides), and laughter (usually at my own expense). Riding shotgun, Mr. Road Trip is a Nebraska native who still hasn't gotten used to the Florida version of "winter" but loves woodworking as much as I love paper and paints. We're a couple of sci-fi and gaming geeks who always break for wine tastings. Our wine-a-plenty morning wedding will be small with lots of DIY touches. And lots of bacon.
Once we’d decided how we were going to pay for the wedding, we both assumed that it was best to just set up a joint savings account at the bank we already used; that way we could easily transfer funds into and out of it as needed.
Then it occurred to me that, just maybe, it might be better to set up a joint checking account instead of a savings account. After all, while we were giving ourselves a certain amount of lead time, eventually we’re going to be needing to take funds out on a regular basis to cover deposits and other purchases. Some savings accounts might allow a few withdrawals a month with no penalty, but toward the end that might be a problem.
Miss Road Trip, TallahasseeAge and Occupation: 36, Writer, Artist & BookkeeperFiance's Age and Occupation: 47, AccountantEngagement Date: September 30, 2011Wedding Date: November, 2013Venue: Honey Lake PlantationAbout Me: Born in Louisiana (I share my birthday with the state, which I think is pretty cool), I'm a Florida transplant who has (mostly) stopped trying to escape the state and surrendered to its particular charms. I believe in the power of creativity, cocktails, (parenthetical asides), and laughter (usually at my own expense). Riding shotgun, Mr. Road Trip is a Nebraska native who still hasn't gotten used to the Florida version of "winter" but loves woodworking as much as I love paper and paints. We're a couple of sci-fi and gaming geeks who always break for wine tastings. Our wine-a-plenty morning wedding will be small with lots of DIY touches. And lots of bacon.
When deciding what type of wedding we wanted to have in our pre-gaged state, we knew we didn’t want this big, huge formal wedding, but we did want more than just a courthouse ceremony and dinner afterward.
I love throwing a good party and, thankfully, Mr. RT shares my enthusiasm for these sorts of things, so a celebration is not something we’ll willingly forgo. Whereas the usual party funds can be eked out over a couple of months, I’m thinking even a low-key wedding is going to cost more than our usual party budget and, this time, I’m definitely not doing my own catering!
Which brings us back to saving up over time, a benefit we have due to our longer-than-the-usual long engagement.
Miss Road Trip, TallahasseeAge and Occupation: 36, Writer, Artist & BookkeeperFiance's Age and Occupation: 47, AccountantEngagement Date: September 30, 2011Wedding Date: November, 2013Venue: Honey Lake PlantationAbout Me: Born in Louisiana (I share my birthday with the state, which I think is pretty cool), I'm a Florida transplant who has (mostly) stopped trying to escape the state and surrendered to its particular charms. I believe in the power of creativity, cocktails, (parenthetical asides), and laughter (usually at my own expense). Riding shotgun, Mr. Road Trip is a Nebraska native who still hasn't gotten used to the Florida version of "winter" but loves woodworking as much as I love paper and paints. We're a couple of sci-fi and gaming geeks who always break for wine tastings. Our wine-a-plenty morning wedding will be small with lots of DIY touches. And lots of bacon.
His and hers. Yours and mine. Ours and theirs. Money can be quite a minefield in a relationship, especially if the two people involved have different philosophies about the management of those funds. As progressive as we’ve become these days—brides not taking the groom’s last name, the groom taking the bride’s name, offbeat weddings galore, and traditions thrown out the window—joint checking seems to still be the default for newlyweds.
(Disclaimer: This is written with a definite bias against joint checking—I’m not even going to try and deny it.)
Miss Road Trip, TallahasseeAge and Occupation: 36, Writer, Artist & BookkeeperFiance's Age and Occupation: 47, AccountantEngagement Date: September 30, 2011Wedding Date: November, 2013Venue: Honey Lake PlantationAbout Me: Born in Louisiana (I share my birthday with the state, which I think is pretty cool), I'm a Florida transplant who has (mostly) stopped trying to escape the state and surrendered to its particular charms. I believe in the power of creativity, cocktails, (parenthetical asides), and laughter (usually at my own expense). Riding shotgun, Mr. Road Trip is a Nebraska native who still hasn't gotten used to the Florida version of "winter" but loves woodworking as much as I love paper and paints. We're a couple of sci-fi and gaming geeks who always break for wine tastings. Our wine-a-plenty morning wedding will be small with lots of DIY touches. And lots of bacon.
Continuing on in the quest to quell my initial objections to a third marriage, our respective financial status was another facet I had to come to terms with before I agreed to become Mrs. from Ms.
Mrs. Camel, Athens, GAAge and Occupation: 29, high school teacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 35, high school teacherEngagement Date: March 2012Wedding Date: May 2013Venue: Cloverleaf FarmAbout Me: I'm a high school social studies teacher who started her career teaching English in Japan with the JET Program. I love photography and history. I also like to travel and take naps---two things that you would think contradict each other, but somehow they don't. My heroes are Dwight Schrute, Liz Lemon, the Dude, and T.E. Lawrence. I traveled the world throughout my 20s only to fall in love with the social studies teacher in the classroom next door to mine. He just happened to be the kindest, most compassionate, and selfless person I had ever met and each day I'm so thankful to have him in my life. We are planning a whimsical, relaxed countryside wedding with a little Marie Antoinette flair thrown in for good measure. Please join us on our wedding planning adventures!
We’re all guilty of it—giving in to the constant barrage of Western culture telling us that our biggest, most special day ever is the perfect time to spend oodles of money on silly, unnecessary things. American consumerism at it’s finest! All those fancy wedding blogs only make things worse. Well, of course I absolutely must have fun sunglasses at our wedding. And let’s not forget a new, special perfume just for the big day! Did someone say paper parasols? Those would look amazing in our wedding photos. I’m ordering nine of them!
And that’s how you end up spending all of your hard earned cash on silly, unnecessary things. Right now I feel like I could just take my paycheck, turn it into a paper airplane and just sail it off the top of a skyscraper. Poof! Gone forever.
So why all this unnecessary spending? I think that part of me is terrified that I will look back on our wedding with regret. I will lie awake at night sweating over the sparkler exit that we skipped because I didn’t feel like spending $65 on sparklers. I hate feeling regret. What a silly emotion because of course, we can never go back and fix things so it’s best to just accept things as they are and move on. Unfortunately, my brain does not often listen to reason and I assure you that I will still lie awake at night regretting stupid, irrelevant things. So, in a frantic attempt to bypass future regret, I have plowed full speed ahead into unnecessary wedding details. Right now I have 100% control over what will and will not be purchased for our wedding and I feel like it’s now or never for these little special splurges. We are only weeks away and my checking account has been feeling it hard lately!
And so, without further ado, I bring you the insanity that is an American wedding:
Miss Camera, Charlotte, NC/Charleston, SCAge and Occupation: 27 & Emergency Room Physician Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31 & Newspaper Editor/Designer
Engagement Date: October 7, 2012Wedding Date: September 2013Venue: The Island House, Charleston, SCAbout Me: I'm a north-to-south transplant, currently living in Charlotte, North Carolina, but still representing all things Pittsburgh, PA. One month after I moved to NC, I went on a date with a guy I met on Match.com, and now we're getting married! I work in a busy Emergency Room as a Physician Assistant and while the hours are sometimes difficult, I can't see myself doing anything else. I live with my fiance in uptown Charlotte. We have an opinionated 5 year old tabby cat named Milo and a sweet, but rambunctious 8 month old mutt named Charlie (short for Charlotte - she's a girl!). I've embraced Southern culture, and our wedding is no exception---what better location than Charleston, SC? I watch too much TV and know every word to every episode of Friends (I've watched The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding at least a hundred times...hope I have enough money for Wedding Scenario A!). I love baking cupcakes, cheering for the Pittsburgh Steelers and Penn State Nittany Lions and am openly addicted to celebrity gossip and pop culture.
My apologies that my posts so far have been all over the place—that was pretty much where my mind was for the first half of my engagement! Which leads me to my next point—I am halfway through my engagement. Yowsa.
One of the first things we talked about, as with any good wedding planning, was the budget. Now, I don’t have to tell any of you that there are a TON of variants when it comes to the wedding budget—one or both sets of parents pay for everything, plus or minus the couple, there are “wedding funds,” there are loans, and there are couples who pay for the entire wedding completely on their own.
Mrs. Palm Tree, Pittsburgh, PAAge and Occupation: 23, Lease AnalystFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Associate Systems AnalystEngagement Date: December 22, 2011Wedding Date: May 2013Venue: The Fez in Aliquippa, PAAbout Me: I’m Miss Palm Tree - an opinionated, loyal and outgoing bride-to-be. I currently work as a Lease Analyst by day and a catering assistant by night. Mr. Palm Tree is a Computer Engineer with a love for all things cats. Mr. Palm Tree and I are absolute soul mates. Having grown up across the street from each other (I have the scars to prove it), we have been a part of each other’s lives for almost as long as we can remember. We are far from perfect: we fight, we get annoyed with each other and we certainly take advantage of knowing one another so well when pushed to the edge, but ultimately, what truly defines us as a couple is our love.
When Mr. Palm Tree and I first decided to get married, we briefly discussed the money aspect. I say “briefly” because it wasn’t really a new topic. We essentially applied the same theory to our wedding planning that we try to apply to daily life: be as reasonable as possible because we, quite simply, do not have a lot of money.
The idea of setting a legitimate budget for a wedding has always intrigued me. I read about girls and couples who have a hard budget of [insert amount here]—we’ll go with $25,000 for the purpose of this post. How in the freaking world do people HAVE $25,000 set aside to spend on a singular event? It makes me do the cartoon head-shake thing.
Video via YouTube / Fun tidbit: The Palm Trees are totally My Little Pony: Friendship is magic FANATICS.
We realized pretty early on in our relationship that if we tried to wait until we could “afford” a wedding, we’d be about 60—if we were lucky. We settled for waiting until we were done with (or close to done with, as was Mr. PT’s case) school and had somewhat of a settled life before entering this stage of our lives. The money we’d figure out as we’d go: if we couldn’t afford something, it wouldn’t happen. Simple.
Mrs. Boa Constrictor, Isabela, Puerto RicoAge and Occupation: 22, Undergraduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Soon-to-be Civil EngineerEngagement Date: May 19, 2011Wedding Date: May 2012Venue: El Faro Convention CenterAbout Me: I’m a Caribbean gal, born and bred on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico, finishing her last year as an undergrad. I describe myself as a “closet nerd” as I secretly enjoy reading research papers, playing video games, and geeking out on Lord of the Rings movie marathons. I will marry my college sweetheart, a soon-to-be civil engineer, who loves Legos and old-school Puerto Rican cooking. This is sure to be a fast-paced year with our wedding, honeymoon, college graduation, new jobs, and a cross-country move all within less than 30 days of each other!
Let’s talk about money! You may recall that we mentioned our budget for our 100 guest wedding was “Spend-as-little-as possible-shooting-for-under-$5,000.” My parents gifted us that amount and we decided keep the total wedding budget under that number so that we could use our savings for the honeymoon.
Ceremony – $400
$100donation to the church
$250 Pre-Cana Retreat
$50 Marriage License
Mrs. Lemur, Greenville, South CarolinaAge and Occupation: 22, Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 22, Security OfficerEngagement Date: October 9, 2012Wedding Date: May 2013Venue: Pleasant Ridge Camp & Retreat CenterAbout Me: I may fancy myself a doctor after too many episodes of House—but in reality I'm finally almost done with my degree in business administration (less than three months left!). My fiance and I met at school in undergrad hundreds of miles away from either of our hometowns and have been happily running and hiking together ever since. We're undertaking a long distance relationship as I finish school and we plan our casual wedding for a day after graduation—needless to say, it will be the busiest and most exciting weekend of our lives so far!
Mrs. Wallaby does this so much better than me, but let’s talk about money. I’ve alluded to the fact that we’re throwing a pretty low-budget wedding. (There’s got to be a better way of saying that.) I’m gonna try to be pretty open here, even though yeah…it’s a little awkward.
My parents and Mr. Lemur’s parents have graciously offered to help us, and we’re choosing to spend only the money that we were given. We could spend our own money on top of that—but it would mean things like less money toward student loan repayment and taking out a car loan instead of paying cash for the car I just bought. I’m not saying this is what everyone should do, but as a graduate student it was the best option for us! And I’m here to tell you that if that’s what you’re looking to do (I know there are some of you out there!), it’s totally possible.
I want to do a pre-wedding budget post to let you know our general categories. After this all goes down I’ll post again and let you know the specifics! A few things: My engagement ring, our wedding bands, and our honeymoon are not included in this budget. We are paying for those ourselves, as well as gifts. The rehearsal dinner is also not included, as Mr. Lemur’s parents are covering that. Anything else? Uh, hopefully I didn’t forget it! If you see something you’re not sure about, just ask.
Mrs. Wallaby, Houston
Age and Occupation: 24, Environmental EngineerEngagement Date: January 1, 2012Wedding Date: November 2012Venue: Oak Tree ManorAbout Me: I'm a free-spirited, adventurous girl who loves anything active, reading, traveling, cooking up new dishes for my fiancé, and working on my budding garden. My fiancé is an athletic, intellectual, animal-loving guy with an obsession with basketball and who treats me with the deepest compassion and respect. We are both engineers, and we met at our workplace. Together we complement one another and make a great team, and we are excitedly counting down the days until our outdoor wedding in Houston in November. We're planning a green wedding with lots of Persian cultural touches, and I can't wait to share all of the before-and-after details of our special day
Fact: I made back $865.40 from reselling decor from our wedding. Whattt?!!
Hive, I’ve never sold anything on the internet in my life—I’ve bought a few things on eBay and Craigslist in the past, but that’s about it. So consider this the low-down for online selling newbies like me. Feel free to steal these tips. You’re welcome.
Unleash your inner photographer.
The most ad-worthy photos are pro pics from your wedding, where the items are in use. If you don’t have any pro pics of an item, try to take your own photos of it in good lighting. Imagine yourself in the buyer’s shoes, browsing through ads on eBay or another website—you’re much more likely to spring for something that looks appealing than something advertised in a photo with a heap of dirty laundry in the background, right?
To give you an example—I resold the vintage card box that I scored for our postcard guestbook. I didn’t have any pro pics of the box, so I photographed it on a plain white sheet to try to minimize the background noise and make the box look appealing. Nothing fancy, just an iPhone photo, but I was careful about where I staged the photo. Aaaaand—sold, in a matter of days.
Mrs. Wallaby, Houston
Age and Occupation: 24, Environmental EngineerEngagement Date: January 1, 2012Wedding Date: November 2012Venue: Oak Tree ManorAbout Me: I'm a free-spirited, adventurous girl who loves anything active, reading, traveling, cooking up new dishes for my fiancé, and working on my budding garden. My fiancé is an athletic, intellectual, animal-loving guy with an obsession with basketball and who treats me with the deepest compassion and respect. We are both engineers, and we met at our workplace. Together we complement one another and make a great team, and we are excitedly counting down the days until our outdoor wedding in Houston in November. We're planning a green wedding with lots of Persian cultural touches, and I can't wait to share all of the before-and-after details of our special day
I hate talking about money. I detest it. I don’t like thinking about money, talking about it, or listening to other people talk about it. But the average American wedding has a pretty hefty price tag, and if you’re planning an event for a lot of people, chances are, you’re very conscious of your budget. I know I was—from day one of wedding planning, I was very anxious about setting a budget and sticking to it. I worried, “am I paying too much for these burlap runners? Is my DJ more expensive than average?” So, to help out brides in the planning process, here is the Wallaby budget breakdown.
Alterations: $700 (that one really hurt and is my biggest regret when it comes to our budget). Allure Alterations. The alterations included taking in the waist, sewing in cups, creating a bustle, hemming the lace train, and several other changes.
How we saved: My Badgley Mischka shoes were originally $200, but I bought a once-worn pair off eBay for $70. The best bargain in this category, though, was Mr. W’s free tux rental, which was part of a deal from Men’s Wearhouse—the five groomsmen rented tuxes, and Mr. W got a free rental.
Miss Jackrabbit, Brighton, UKAge and Occupation: 26, Office ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, SongwriterEngagement Date: October 5, 2012Wedding Date: September 2013Venue: Fabrica Gallery, BrightonAbout Me: I honestly thought I'd go all Monica Geller when I started planning our wedding, but in truth, things couldn't have gone much differently. I am working my way through this venture, figuring things out as I go, and adopting a 'Que Sera, Sera,' approach to making decisions. When I'm not organising the biggest day of my life, I can usually be found drinking a glass of wine, crafting up one thing or another, or stopping my cat from head-butting me in the face.
Once upon a time, a spreadsheet was created. And on that spreadsheet was a list of every single thing I could possibly ever imagine that I could hand over money for.
There were the big things, like the venue, photographer, and food, but then there were other things that were related to it, like spray-tan trials, postage stamps, and bathroom baskets.
This list was the key to how I got the budget sorted.
Now—I read up about the budget, and the biggest thing that was shouted from the rooftops was “Set your budget first, THEN draw up your spending allocations.” But I tend to do things my own way, so I thought I’d do it a little differently.
Step one: Get that huge list into a spreadsheet.
Step two: Do some mighty research. (I found general prices on local websites, called up a few places for quotes, and sent out a few emails.)
Step three: Add quotes to budget spreadsheet.
Step four: Look at the total and cry a bit because you never really dreamt that it would really cost that much.
Mrs. Doily, Cedar Rapids, IowaAge and Occupation: 25, Autism Paraeducator/ StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 28, IT Hosting SupportEngagement Date: August 27th, 2010Wedding Date: March 2012Venue: Father’s Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet CenterAbout Me: I’m an Iowan girl with a deep love of Harry Potter, classic movies, cardigans, and Post-Its. My type-A Virgo tendencies often cause me to drive my laid-back college sweetheart fiance batty with lists and PowerPoint presentations. I love to be crafty and do things myself, which explains why my two crazy kittens often will prance around the house covered in glitter and ribbons. When I am not bogged down with work, school, or wedding planning, I like to travel to visit my expansive family and have wild adventures with my best friends. After a rollercoaster ride of a love story, I’m ready to take that final plunge, marry the love of my life, and become a Mrs.!
Mr. D and I knew that we were going to pay for the wedding ourselves. So when we set an initial budget, we were shooting for $10k. So how close did we get? Well, let’s find out!
Attire:
Mrs. Doily:
Dress (including bustle, undergarments, and tax—no alterations needed): $1,309
Accessories:
Earrings: $54.60
Bracelet: Gifted
Necklace: Borrowed
Veil: Borrowed
Shoes (Both the heels and the Toms): $87.54
Hair Flower: $5.78
Beauty:
Hair and makeup (trial and tip for both included): $180
