Weddingbee Blog

As a northern girl living in the South, I feel like I have it made when it comes to adhering to wedding traditions. There are traditions from both regions that I’ve embraced and others that I’ve felt free to toss aside. The one tradition that I wanted to acknowledge while not adhering to completely was the bridal portrait.

I didn’t really know about bridal portraits before I moved to the South. I guess I knew about them in theory, but taking them wasn’t common practice back at home or in New England, where I lived before moving to Virginia. When I got engaged, I noticed bridal portraits on the lists of services offered by photographers, and some people asked when I was doing my “bridals.”

At first, I didn’t understand the point of bridal portraits. Why would I want a picture of myself in my dress, taken days or weeks before my actual wedding? I realized that some send them to the newspaper, but I’m not even decided about whether we’ll do that. Southern friends explained that parents often hang the portraits in their homes. Growing up, we had art on our walls instead of portraits, so the idea of taking a picture of myself so my parents could post a 24 x 36 print on their wall was a little foreign. I soon saw bridal portraits used as decor at weddings. They’d be clustered around the guest book or escort-card table, and everyone would check them out as they filed into the reception.

I still didn’t think having a bridal portrait was for me, but I wanted to give a nod to the tradition. What I did is for your eyes only, so let’s make sure Mr. Mink doesn’t do any peeking…

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With Earth Day around the corner, I got to thinking about some of my efforts to “green” our wedding. Some worked out well. Others didn’t. I’d like to share one aspect of our wedding that isn’t as green as we had hoped it would be: the decor.

I imagine I’m not alone in looking at pictures from other weddings and thinking that candlelight adds a beautiful quality to the scene. Early in my planning, I was especially drawn to mercury glass. I love it so much that my floral designers are using mercury-glass vessels in all of our table arrangements and aisle decorations. I can’t wait to see the beautiful result.

From Inspired by This / Photo by Joielala Photographie / Via Lover.ly

I thought I’d collect mercury-glass candle holders to extend the look to others parts of our venue. The hitch: Mercury glass, the real stuff, is expensive. We could spend hundreds of dollars on mercury glass and only amass a small collection of it. I briefly considered making my own using one of the many tutorials that are on the web, but a discussion with one of my florists changed my mind. She suggested that we use mercury-glass votives on the bridal-party table, but stick to clear on the rest because the clear glass would allow more light to bounce around the room.

I knew plenty of brides sold decorative items from their weddings in the Classifieds section of the ’Bee, so I started watching the listings for votives. I started doing the math in my head and decided that I wanted around 100 votives to put on tables and around the venue. The flicker of candles would be everywhere!

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I’m pretty good at keeping secrets, but am relieved when I’m let off the hook and can share something that was previously private. I’ve been giddy over the prospect of sharing this news. My sister-in-law is pregnant! She and my brother, who are the reason I have an amazing gaggle of ring bearers, are having their fourth little boy!

Sister Mink was actually a little bit nervous to tell me her great news and explained that many women do not like having pregnant bridesmaids. I must have missed something because I couldn’t figure out why this would be. I know I’ve seen plenty of charming pictures of bridal parties with a baby bump or two.

From Bridal Mussings / Photo by Erin Johnson Photography / Via Lover.ly

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I am an extremely enthusiastic gift giver. Mr. Mink is the same way. We start thinking about holiday presents around Halloween because we each like to determine the exactly perfect gift that will make a friend or loved one feel special. When the shoe is on the other foot, we’re both effusive recipients of gifts, but I have to admit that I’ve recently felt funny (maybe the right word is guilty?) at the thought of someone buying us a wedding gift.

That’s not to say I’m not delighted by the gifts we’ve received. I love them! However, I think hearing comments like “cover your plate” when it comes to weddings (meaning your gift should cost as much as the meal you are served) has made me uncomfortable. It’s as if there’s a quid pro quo expectation around weddings sometimes. I cringe at the idea of our guests feeling obligated to give us gifts.

One day last week, as I thought about why a conversation about gifts with my maid of honor made me uncomfortable, I realized that my friends and family are quite capable of deciding if they want to give us a gift and I need to stop feeling bad about it.

It seems almost fitting that this arrived the evening that I had my epiphany:

Photo by Miss Mink

What could Elisa and Edward Bricker of Elisa B Photography possibly be sending me? Why would these people who we are paying to photograph our wedding send us something now?

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Once you put your wedding invitations in the mail, you hope that friends and family will call or write to let you know that they’ve arrived at some of their destinations. I’m lucky to have an amazing post office and super responsive guests that resulted in RSVPs in our mailbox within three days. However, I still wanted to track our invitations in a more systematic way.

Since putting delivery confirmations on every envelope was out of the question, I thought I’d embed a Google Analytics tracker into our wedding website to monitor traffic. That plan didn’t work out because I used a pre-made template for our website and I couldn’t do  too much editing to the HTML code behind it. I found and alternative that has been working out quite well. The bonus is that it sort of lets me registry stalk without seeing our actual registry.
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Recent events have shattered my opinion of Waterford. I’m so sad over this because Waterford has been part of so many celebrations and holidays in my life. And, as something with an Irish heritage, I also felt that collecting Waterford somehow connected me to by Irish roots (perhaps a little silly of me since Waterford moved a lot of their production to Eastern Europe).

I grew up admiring the Waterford pieces that my grandmother, aunts, and mother owned. I loved to help my mother set the table for the holidays because I enjoyed handling her beautiful Waterford glasses and napkin rings. When we were done, the table would sparkle! The little girl in me loved all that bling!

I picked my a Waterford crystal pattern, Kelsey, when I was in graduate school. I love it. When I picked out fine china, I thought it was kind of special that the pattern was by Waterford. A month after I registered, I noticed that Macy’s started listing a few pieces of the china were no longer available. I immediately called Waterford Customer Service and the representative who took my call assured me that my patter, Jaipur, wasn’t going anywhere and that it was so popular that they couldn’t keep up with demand. I moved my registry over to Bed, Bath, and Beyond after, where all the pieces were available.

Well, that Waterford representative was wrong.

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The RSVP cards in our mailbox and comments from friends confirm that our invitations are in our guests’ hands, so it’s time to share some pictures!

First of all, I have to comment on how amazing my local post office is. Up until about a year ago, my little city had its own mail sorting facility. Budget cuts prompted a closure and all mail started getting sent to Richmond (about an hour away) to be sorted. Locals were up in arms over the potential change in delivery time. I was pretty surprised when we mailed our Save the Date cards and a local friend had his in less than 24 hours. I remember thinking that the Richmond sorting facility must be super efficient!

When I went to double check the postage that we’d need for our invitations, I became privy to what’s really going on at my local post office. After I bought our stamps, the clerk quietly told me to separate out the local invitations from the rest so they could bypass Richmond and stay in town. Apparently, they’ve been doing some hand sorting at the post office since our local sorting facility closed. They aren’t supposed to do this, but it’s clearly more efficient and probably saves money since they don’t have as much mail to transport.

I dropped our invitations off around 1 PM on a Wednesday and many local guests received them on Thursday. My family in the northeast had invitations by Saturday, which is when the first responses arrived in our mailbox. I’m so happy with how quickly the USPS delivered everything.

Now, let me show off our invitations! You may remember the wonderful, affordable calligraphy that Elizabeth Bartucci did for us, but it’s so pretty that I can’t help sharing another picture of the envelopes.

Photo by Miss Mink

Last week, I shared the outside of our envelopes. We used cherry blossom centennial stamps on the envelopes as a nod to the region and our ties to Thomas Jefferson. For the return address, we used wrap around labels from Minted that had our first names on the back of them.
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I think I’ve mentioned that I am a lover of bridal fashion in the past. Fashion, in general, hasn’t excited me in years, but there’s something about bridal that I really love. I absolutely loved shopping for a wedding gown and eagerly anticipate the designer bridal fashion shows that happen each spring and fall. So, when I checked into my hotel on a recent business trip to Washington, DC, my heart quickened when I realized that I was staying next to Saks Jandel, a luxury store that has a fabulous bridal salon. Every time I left the hotel, a frothy, romantic Oscar de la Rental wedding gown seemed to playfully call me to come in and fawn over the designer frocks inside the store.

While I’m not the type to second guess my dress at the sight of another, I realize that it’s not very nice to monopolize the staff at a bridal salon if one isn’t in search of a wedding gown. In an attempt to do something wedding related in the evenings after my work was done for the day, I decided to look for my under-the-dress items. In addition to Saks Jandel (an independent store, not affiliated with Saks Fifth Avenue), the neighborhood where I’m staying has Bloomingdale’s, Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom Rack, Lohmann’s, and a Saks Fifth Avenue. The intimates departments in the department stores have been taken over by Spanx and shapewear. Traditional lingerie (bustiers, corsets, etc.) is hard to find.

The final round of disappointment came at Saks Fifth Avenue.
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Hive, I never thought I would get excited over stamps. I know there are some cute stamps that are used for weddings out there, but none of them really excited me when I was getting our invitations ready. I looked at the custom-stamp option, but didn’t feel very motivated to create any for our invitations. Well, thank goodness I wasn’t quick to buy stamps because I found out about these beauties a week ago, right here on the Weddingbee boards.

From USPS.com

The Cherry Blossom Centennial stamp debuted on Saturday, and I was quick to snap up six sheets of them for our wedding invitations. Mailing our invitation requires two 45-cent postage stamps, so the fact that the cherry-blossom design spreads across two stamps is perfect. The added bonus was that the colors would look nice with our invitation design and the image included the Jefferson Memorial. Thomas Jefferson, if you didn’t know, lived here in Charlottesville.

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You may have noticed something hanging out on the side of the corn hole boards I painted a few months ago. It was a plaque that planned to paint and use on the backs of our chairs at our reception. I painted two plaques with the same light blue paint that I used on the corn hole boards and then I stalled out. The plaques sat for weeks. I attended to other projects and the blank pieces of wood stared back at me.

I believe this means I have entered what some would call a planning rut. The wedding is soon, but not soon enough! From what I’ve read on the Weddingbee boards, this is fairly common. At some point, you want to stop with the planning and hurry up with the marrying.

On top of this feeling, I am coming to the end of my DIY list. Mr. Mink worried about whether I’d be sad when I was done with the projects. I laughed at him, thinking that there was no way I’d be done early. But now I’m almost done with the projects that really excite me (the ones that involve painting), I’m not especially motivated to tackle anything else (programs, escort cards, etc).

Photo by Miss Mink

I eventually started feeling a little guilty about ignoring those plaques.
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The newly engaged woman usually dips her toe into wedding planning waters with excitement. She’s soon knee-deep though, with to-do lists showing hundreds of past due tasks awaiting her on wedding planning websites and shelves of binders and organizers waiting for her at the bookstore. Everywhere she looks, there are subtle and not-so-subtle messages that she’s supposed to be controlling every detail associated with her wedding.

I have definitely been of the “control everything” mindset for months now, but during my last meeting with floral designers Pat Roberts and Sherry Spencer of Pat’s Floral Design, I turned a big corner. I realized that I hired these talented, creative, thoughtful women and I totally trusted them. I didn’t feel the need to discuss every petal and stem that would be part of our wedding. I felt completely at ease relinquishing control.

Photo by Miss Mink

We were finalizing our flower proposal at this meeting.
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Way back in November, I wrote about contemplating hiring a wedding coordinator. I was worried about how much time I’d have to devote to planning between business travel in the fall and my busy season at work in the winter and spring. I spoke with a number of coordinators in the area about full or partial planning, but realized that I didn’t necessarily want to hand the reins over to someone else during this process.

Like many other brides, I decided to look for a Day of Coordinator. The advanced planning would be fun, but I wanted someone to take over at the end. I want to make sure our contracts are executed properly, that we stay relatively close to our yet-to-be-determined timeline, and that both our guests and vendors are taken care of properly. In a nutshell, I wanted someone to tend to the details on the big day so I can relax and enjoy the hours leading up to the walk down the aisle.

Photo by Allegra’s Studio / Posted with permission

As I met with “day of” coordinators (DOCs), I realized that I was most attracted to those who exuded a sense of calm.
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The last time I talked about menu planning, we were working out a menu for our rehearsal dinner at my meat loving fiance’s favorite new restaurant. We recently revisited menu planning when we had our testing at our venue, Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards. With a farm-to-table philosophy, the Pippin Hill menu is seasonal, so we knew we’d be putting this part of our planning off until a couple months before our wedding. When the spring menu came out, we pored over nine pages of options to pick our tasting menu. We’d taste seven hors d’oeuvres, two salads, and two entrees to select five hors d’oeuvres for cocktail hour, one salad, and one or two entrees. We had a lot of trouble narrowing down all the options, but ultimately would up with this tasting menu:

Mr. Mink, Mama B Mink (Mr. Mink’s mother), and I were joined by Whitney and Kelly from Pippin Hill for our tasting.
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I’ve always been a pretty emotional person. I cry during the news (especially when Brian Williams does his “Making a Difference” report). I cry over Hallmark cards. I can still remember the first commercial that made me cry. It was an AT&T commercial set to Elton John’s Rocket Man. A husband on a business trip makes a date (via fax sent from a plane) to talk to his wife. It killed me. I was a mess whenever that commercial came on. I just watched it again and cried.

I now have a new commercial that makes me an emotional wreck. I don’t even think it airs on TV. The company airs teaser ads on TV and you have to go to YouTube to see the full commercial. Want to see it? Well, let’s start at the very beginning.

The first time I watched that, I was in tears. After seeing it a few more times, I have some comments.
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Hive, I don’t think I have adequately conveyed how much I love Mini Mink, Mr. Mink’s niece and our flower girl. She is one of the sweetest, cutest, charming little girls I have ever met. I’m tempted to tell you a dozen stories about times she’s had us howling with laughter or delighted us with her thoughtfulness. She’s only four years old and I’m already imagining what an amazing person she is going to be.

Two weeks ago, Mr. Mink’s mother, sister, and I went shopping for a dress for Mama Mink to wear for the wedding. Sister Mink brought along her two children, who are both going to be part of the wedding party. The Minis were complete angels during the shopping trip, possibly due to the entertainment provided by the iPad. When we finished, with two outfits purchased for Mama Mink, we headed home. There was a bridal shop on the way and we decided to stop in for a quick visit to see if there were any flower girl dresses for Mini Mink to wear.

It’s prom season here, so the shop was full of teenagers looking at party dresses. A salesperson showed us to the flower girl dresses in the back of the store and I quickly picked out two that I thought would work with our colors. Mini Mink made a beeline for the jewelry as we headed for the dressing room and declared that she’d also like to wear earrings and a tiara. At four years old, she is already quite a little shopper.

We put the first dress on her and she clasped her hands over her heart in delight. It was adorable, but not the kind of dress I wanted for her.

Photo by Miss Mink

Mini Mink didn’t really like the dress after a few minutes and decided to slip it off…while we were in front of the huge mirrors along with the prom shoppers. That was an interesting moment.
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