I nominate Mrs. Unicycle’s crepe paper flowers tutorial—I like how she simplified the Martha Stewart tutorial for an un-crafty bee like me. I swear those craft tutorials are written in a foreign language!
~ Miss Eel
If you’ve ever read a Martha Stewart craft tutorial, you were probably left scratching your head, shouting obscenities, or punching your computer screen right where her little head shot shows up.
Martha’s tutorials sometimes focus heavily on pretty pictures, but are sometimes lacking in the instructions. Take this crepe paper flower tutorial, for instance, which my MOH and I tried out the other day:
Image via Martha Stewart
(As you may recall, all the flowers at my wedding will be made of paper because I’m a cheap masochist.) The tutorial instructs you to cut out petals with their template and shape them by stretching the crepe paper. This was all simple enough, and I got through these steps feeling like I could totally pwn good ol’ Martha in a paper flower match to the death. But when it came to attaching the petals to the stem, the instructions are weak sauce: “To attach petals to stamen, stretch floral tape slightly, then wrap it twice around stamen. Add petals, wrapping tape across base of each as you add it. Once petals are added, wrap tape around twice more, then wrap down along stem to anchor and to attach leaves.” But how exactly do you attach the petals with floral tape? In case you didn’t already know, floral tape really isn’t very sticky.
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