Weddingbee Blog

That was my attitude towards wedding planning before we got engaged. It’s just planning a big party, right? I would tell friends that I love to plan, used to work in event planning, I am organized, I can handle it all on my own. Who needs a wedding coordinator? They would smile and nod, no doubt thinking to themselves that I am a huge moron.

I’ve said this before, but it’s really shocking how clueless I was about so many wedding related things! Not until I was months into this journey did I realize that I am so organized and particular, I am going to need help. It seems counter intuitive, but being overly organized and picky means that I do really care about how the place cards are set out. It matters to me that the cake table is set up the way I want it to look. And I also don’t want to be worrying about all of this the day we get married. I want to focus on the day and try to remember each moment, because I’ve heard so many people say that it goes by in a blink.

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In retrospect there were many things that I would have done differently the wedding day. But you’re just so busy that you don’t have the time to think about or do them. These are the biggest regrets and the biggest hits from our wedding… maybe they’ll be helpful for you.

What I would have done differently…

1. I should have spent 10 minutes walking around and taking pictures of the little details like the menus, photo collage, tissue packets, drink menus etc. When I take pictures I’m always thinking about my blog in the back of my mind so I take pictures of everything. I want to tell a story and make the reader feel like they were there with me. I put so much work into each little detail and I wanted to document everything. This is my single biggest regret.

2. I should have saved the placecards (specifically mine and Mr. Bee’s) so I could scrapbook them. I didn’t save any menus either.

3. I should have gotten another hair and make-up trial. I understand now why people get up to 6 trials. My hair and make-up was ok at the trial - I didn’t love it. But I just figured that it would be ok on my wedding day. Boy was I wrong. You must LOVE your hair and make-up otherwise you won’t be happy the entire day. In fact, you’ll probably cry. On the plus side, since I started the day off with such a disaster, the subsequent things that went wrong didn’t faze me as much.

4. Don’t leave any preparations til the last day if you are having guests stay with you before the wedding. You should be able to relax the day before your wedding, which I wasn’t able to do because I hadn’t finished all my projects. Having guests stay with us turned out to be a mixed blessing though because I am so in love with my new niece and nephew and I got to know Mr. Bee’s sisters.

5. I should have designated a person to go around and take polaroids of the guests for our polaroid guestbook so I would have a shot of all our guests. Not everyone took a picture of themselves and my ringbearer took off with the camera for some of the night. The wish cards that were filled out and polaroids that were taken turned out great. We loved reading them after the wedding.

6. The number one problem I read about weddings in messageboards is with the car/limo being late. Our car was 40 minutes late. I would recommend telling the car company a pick-up time 30 minutes to one hour earlier than the actual time you need the car.

7. Because I was late, Mr. Bee and I didn’t get to spend some time alone together before going out to take pictures like we had planned.

Things that we did right…

1. Having a day of wedding coordinator. I would have paid double for the peace of mind they offered me. There were many crises but they handled all of them perfectly. They were the first ones to arrive and the last ones to leave - staying until the firefighters got my parents out of the elevator.

2. Have a wedding dress attendant when going around the city to take pictures. My friends yumbear and You_and_I_Both were a big help fixing my dress, holding my flowers, helping me get in and out of the car…. You got a lot of things going on - you need an assistant… or two.

3. Serving white wine and water to guests before the ceremony started. It loosened up the atmosphere and gave guests a chance to mingle.

4. I made a photo collage of most of our guests and displayed it on an easel at the entrance. It gave guests something to do before the ceremony started and they had great fun looking for their picture. I color copied my 35 mm pictures and printed my digital pics on my printer so I could crop them without destroying the originals.

5. Having a really short ceremony. My bridesmaids thanked me because it’s hard to stand up there. We were also having a paebaek ceremony so a short ceremony was nice.

6. The paebaek ceremony. The company I used did a fantastic job and everyone LOVED it.

7. Including a description of the paebaek ceremony in our programs.

8. Putting vaseline on my teeth so lipgloss wouldn’t stain my teeth. I’m not used to wearing lip gloss and it really gets on your teeth. This is an excellent trick.

9. The disposable cameras and poems. My ringbearer probably single handedly used at least 3 cameras but I saw guests using them and I think some great shots will come from them.

10. Everyone loved the newsletters because we gave them details about our wedding party, our honeymoon and a timeline of our entire relationship. We placed them on each chair before the guests entered the reception area.

11. The tissue packets for the guests’ “tears of joy.”

12. Working together to create the perfect seating chart and putting the placecards at each setting. This took a lot of thinking on our part, but a big part of the success of the wedding was seating the right people together. Having designated seating was so much better than having guests carry their placecards over to their table and letting them sit wherever they wanted.

13. Signature drinks. We put the drink recipes in frames on the bar and guests ordered them all night. I think we went through 12 bottles of Starr African Rum. Love Potion was so yummy.

14. The Polaroid wishing well was great but we should have had an attendant for it.

15. The bathroom baskets. People really used the stuff in them… specifically the tampons.

16. Going around to each table and thanking everyone for coming. We got to meet friends and family from each side that we hadn’t met before. Our wedding planner thought that it took up too much time at her wedding, but I’m really glad we did it.

17. Not having a head table. Made it easier to just be comfortable and mingle with all our friends and family.

18. Having a band and a dj. The band did a great job - people were on the dance floor all night. The dj for the last 2 hours really turned the dancing up a notch. My flowergirl danced for 3 hours straight without a single break. I don’t think there was a single person who didn’t dance. This is a miracle for an Asian wedding!!!

19. Staying at the Ritz Carlton. I’d never stayed at a 5 star hotel before, but the Ritz was only $230 a night and a couple of blocks from our apartment. I booked a city view room and they upgraded us to a harbor view room with the Statue of Liberty right out our window because it was our wedding night. The service was absolutely impeccable. A+. You deserve to be pampered a bit on your wedding night.

20. Our wedding was from 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. It was the perfect length of time.

21. Leaving for our honeymoon 2 days after the wedding so we had time to rest, hang out with our family, and pack.

And we’re off to Spain today. See you next week!!!!