Weddingbee

As it turned out, this small wedding was the best decision we made. I’ll never forget walking down the aisle, catching sight of faces in the crowd, and feeling so much love for each and every one of them. (Though unfortunately it meant I forgot to look at Mr T for his big reaction moment — urf!) Having everyone close heightened the sense of community — people were thrilled for us, happy to chip in and help create the day, interested in getting to know one another better. And they all know us so well that there was no one to impress.

That said, I have had friends who saw their wedding as a celebration for the community at large. Inviting absolutely everyone can increase your joy in different ways.

(Note you’re in for interesting discussions if you and your intended see this point differently! I’ll never forget the description by a groom who wanted a small wedding of negotiating this process with his bride, who was from Africa and believed the more, the merrier. He: “We can’t invite that person. He’s not our friend! He doesn’t even have friends!” She: “Well, isn’t that so much more reason to invite him??”)

What got me onto this topic was a post on the issue of size and budgets at A Practical Wedding (my new favorite “other-than-Weddingbee” wedding blog), which pointed out that expert types always say reducing your guest list is the best possible way to reduce wedding costs. Having been there, I agree with that the answer is … yes and no.

A smaller size cuts your food and beverage budget, without question. Also favors, chair rentals, centerpieces, invitations, and anything else where you pay by the piece. On a more philosophical level, I believe we saved a lot because we didn’t feel the need to impress.

On the other hand, many wedding costs are fixed. You’re going to pay the same for your dress, bouquet, site fee, music, photographer, etc., whether you have 3 guests or 300. So your expenditures per guest actually should be smaller at a big wedding.

No answers here. Just thought I’d put the topic out there for discussion…. What are your thoughts on big vs small weddings?
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Even their high-end evening bags are under $40:

And where was this $7.50 model when my mother needed a bronze bag for our wedding day?

Did you people know about this? What other fabulously inexpensive resources (bridal or otherwise) might I be missing out on? Please share!!

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MOH reading excerpts of a 12-year-old letter describing my “perfect man” … hours poring over old letters.

Reaction shots? … Priceless!

Love this glowing shot of my mother!

(Photos by Punam Bean)
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For fabric, I purchased a beautiful turquoise sari off eBay. I planned to attach a red vintage button to each and wrap around a note explaining the uses of lavender sachets. But, as the day got closer, I ran out of time and energy to actually make the sachets. Luckily, PaperMart came to the rescue — while buying bouquet-wrapping ribbon off their site, I came across these lavender-embroidered muslin bags. The new plan? Open bag, spoon in lavender, and tie. It saved SO much time!!

Each sachet cost about 80 cents but looked much nicer, thanks to the embroidered bags. And they were a huge hit with the females in attendance — a few gals admitted to taking a handful! Hopefully, our guests’ drawers will now smell pretty for many months to come….

Will you give away wedding favors?
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These orchid boutonnieres were only $1.44 each. (Though we had to purchase a 24-pack for that price — there were definitely extras!) We replaced the original white ribbon with red to match our color scheme.

The girls’ orchid bouquets were from the same source.

For my own bouquet, I again took advantage of the silk-flower savings to purchase a beloved flower that’s pricey when real — in this case, peonies! The bouquet was filled out with roses for contrast.

(Peonies from Save-on-Crafts were $2.79 for red, $3.49 for white. Roses were $1-4, depending on size.)

But I was slow in deciding what to do about centerpieces. And FMIL expressed a strong preference in favor of real flowers for the mothers’ corsages. So, a couple of weeks before the wedding, I was back online in search of live flowers.

We ended up purchasing through an online wholesaler called FiftyFlowers. And I highly recommend them. The flowers were beautiful at prices lower than the other sources I checked. Their customer service was fantastic — they phoned to recommend a change to our delivery date so the lilies would open by the time of the wedding, and they called again with reassurance when FedEx had to deliver a day late. The eco-girl in me feels guilty about flying them in, but logistically it’s pretty amazing that they were in the ground in South America one day and at my house the next!!

We purchased 100 stems of red Peruvian Lilies and 50 white Anastasia roses, for $110 each.

I found the lilies to be slightly disappointing in terms of color. That may be what happens when you order sight-unseen off the Web, but then again I’ve heard many stories where brides received something unexpected from their florists. Maybe that’s just how it goes with flowers…. Here’s the color of the real thing, versus the photo above:

But the roses were spectacular — enormous, snowy, and completely glorious. Rather than cutting them down into vases, we left them in enormous long-stemmed bouquets for tables at the ceremony and reception buffet. Sadly, no photo, but trust me on this one if you’re in the market for roses!

Overall, I was surprised by how long the fresh flowers survived. We received the lilies on Wednesday and the roses on Thursday so they would be open for our Saturday wedding. In fact, they peaked the day after the wedding, and both types remained beautiful for several days thereafter. So, a note to DIY brides — if you buy flowers that are tightly closed, you may be surprised how far in advance you can make the purchase.

In the end, I loved the ease of silk but the vibrant freshness of the real flowers. Each has its benefits for DIY brides. And, when in doubt, you can always mix and match!

Are you planning to “DIY” your wedding flowers? Will they be real or silk?
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(A favorite votive holder imported from home)

In a small space, the food itself can add a significant amount of decorative style. Especially when there are lots of tempting desserts!

In fact, there were so many desserts that we made bags for guests to take cookies home. We used the Chinese lantern design from the front of our invitations, some white paper bags from the food section at Michaels, and our trusty Gocco — the whole project took less than an hour. And it must have been a success because, while we ate leftover cake and cupcake for weeks (orange ginger buttercream frosting, mmmmm), there wasn’t a leftover cookie in sight!

Teaism has two levels, so we held the cocktail hour upstairs before everyone moved down for dinner and (what would have been) dancing. It was fun to have an actual staircase for the grand entrance:

People made themselves comfortable whereever they pleased (thank heavens, no seating arrangements to figure out). And then, party time!

(All photos by Punam Bean)

What are your favorite budget-decor ideas? Anyone else putting your guests on Decor Duty??
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(The whole area is just so darn photogenic — every house offered spectacular backdrops)

(In retrospect, I’m not a fan of the shawl and veil together. Yes, it was COLD! But have 10 seasons of ANTM taught me nothing, if I’m not prepared to suffer for the model’s art??)

(All photos by Punam Bean)
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