I feel like I’ve been such a bad blogger; it’s been nearly a week since I’ve written anything! I hope you accept my apologies… things have been pretty crazy around the Doxie household what with everything that’s going on this month.
That said, I’m excited to share our engagement party with you! Mr. Doxie’s parents are so incredibly sweet; they flew me to Canada this weekend to spend Thanksgiving with them. They also threw us an engagement party for about forty of their nearest and dearest. I was absolutely blown away by how warmly I was welcomed into the family. It makes me that much more excited to be Mrs. Doxie in May!
I had never been to an engagement party before, and I’ll be the first to admit that I was a liiittle nervous to meet everyone. I’m a pretty shy girl. But everything was positively perfect! The party exceeded my expectations, by far.
The decorations were appropriate!
Apparently everywhere. Is it something in the water? Global warming?
Mr. Ramen and I have entered the twilight zone in life when all of our friends and families are getting married/engaged. Last year, I attended a whopping 8 weddings. This year, we’ve collectively been invited to 7 weddings, not including ours… WHEW! (4 were in the month of August alone!)
In my extended family, one of my cousins has gotten married each year since ’06! (Ours will be the 2nd wedding in ‘09). On top of that, sister/MOH Ramen got engaged 4 months after me and will be getting married in the summer of 2010! (So that’s 2 weddings in my immediate family - in 6 months! yes, my parents are excited, haha.)
I had the extreme privilege of swapping places with my sister (remember, she hid and took pictures of my engagement from afar) and helping surprise her at her engagement back in April - and planned a surprise dessert celebration engagement party later that evening for her and her fiance.
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I think one of the most frustrating things about planning this wedding is feeling a little bit alone. I mean, I’m not so self-centered that I expect everyone else’s life to revolve around me, or our wedding. But sometimes, you just want some support, you know? I’m not even talking about some physical help, but to know that people actually care about what’s going on with my LIFE. Not just the wedding. Because my life is so much more than just one day. While support from the wedding blogging community (because I know we all go through this) is nice, it’s just not what I’m left wanting.
Sure, the wedding is important to me. I’m excited for it! It’s a big day! But… what happens when it’s over? Will anyone have anything to say to me? Will I have anything left to say to anyone else?
I think the thing that all brides battle is becoming so obsessed with planning the wedding that we forget that life doesn’t just end when we get the ring. I don’t want to be at a loss with all the “free time” I’ll have after the wedding (although I’m sure school will make sure I don’t have too many of those moments). I don’t want to dwell on the “what ifs” and “wish I hads” of wedding regret. I want to be able to smoothly move on into married life, and I don’t want my friends to say, “I’m so glad you’re back!”
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Where we left off in the story, Mr.DD and I were engaged!
Well, sort of anyway. There was still another engagement to pull off. One that required a little more preparation on my part…
First up was a test run with the mehndi (henna) artist we’re planning on using for the wedding.
Didn’t she do a great job?
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Remember my soap opera-esque cliffhanger from yesterday?
It’s true. Mr. DD and I got engaged twice.
The first time was the private proposal Mr. DD and I both wanted.
The second time was at the formal Indian engagement ceremony (called a mangni) that my parents wanted.
Scheduling the second event meant that I knew when both engagements were going to happen. The ring arrived one weekend and the mangni was two weekends after that. That just left the middle weekend open for a proposal (and I was busy Saturday—so it had to be on Friday).
Although it was important to me to make a mutual decision to get married, I was quite happy leaving the details of the proposal to Mr. DD. And, although I didn’t give him much time to work with, he was determined to surprise me a little bit.
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Sunday, July 27th, 2008. That’s the day that Mr. M got down on one knee in the middle of the Chicago Botanic Gardens and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. It was an incredibly special moment, and I was the happiest girl in the world.
Then he gave me this…
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Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
A few months ago I had a little brain scare and ended up in the ER for six hours. Although I am fine now, things were a bit scary. I had to get two bags of fluids. The nurses couldn’t find a vein. When a nurse finally got the needle in, I was relieved until my hand started to swell — the hand with my two day old engagement ring on it! It took me a few minutes to get it off but I managed. Close call!
Mr. S proposed to me with my mom’s original engagement ring… then he had me pick one out for myself! So now I have two. I don’t wear them very often because most days I am elbow deep in Play-Doh and worm bins, but when I do wear one I secretly giggle at it every time I catch a glimpse.
My set (vintage, 1940’s, bought from etsy.com):
What could I possibly be referring to? Well, wedding announcements! You see, Senora Carrie Bradshaw of “Sex and the City” once called the New York Times Weddings and Celebrations section “the single heterosexual woman’s sports pages”.
I LOVE looking at the New York Times wedding announcements. I don’t know how I started to read them, but all I know is that it satisfies my nosy streak each week.
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Getting engaged without a ring was a good option for us.
First, I’m a pretty particular person and I can’t hide my disappointment if a gift doesn’t live up to the image I have in my head (this has led to many hurt feelings on Christmas morning. Sorry, Mom! I love you even though I return all of your gifts every year!).
Second, Mr. Bunny didn’t feel confident enough to pick out a ring on his own. He wanted me to have something I loved.
He did warn me not to expect anything lavish. We’re reporters for tiny local newspapers and can barely afford to pay our bills, so I certainly wasn’t expecting a large rock.
In addition, he’d just had to pay for his surgery — and shortly before that, his truck had been in a 4-car pile up caused by an uninsured driver, so he’d had to foot the bill for the truck’s frame repair, too. 
Our family is good friends with the e-ring salesman, John, at the local Diamond Cellar, so I’d always imagined that I’d buy my ring from him. I just hoped that I would be able to convince Mr. Bunny to shop at DC.
The strange thing is that one of the other girls in the 4-car pile up happened to be John’s daughter! She and Mr. Bunny met on the side of the road while they were waiting for the police to show up. Mr. Bunny didn’t realize I knew her until he mentioned that she knew a friend of his — who, coincidentally, is the Diamond Cellar’s diamond buyer. Needless to say that it wasn’t too hard to talk Mr. Bunny into the idea that a visit to John was in order.
Initially, I was torn between a round cut and a princess cut diamond.
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The few months before we were “officially” engaged were torture! At this time (late February, 2008), my mom and dad, and his mom, dad and step-mom were the only people we had told of our intentions to seal the deal. They were instructed to keep their lips sealed tight.
We saw one potentially MAJOR issue to the wedding – when?? Mr. Bear Cub accepted the position in Chile with a start date of Oct 1, 2008. I was in the application process for a job nearby in Chile, but I had no idea if they would select me (this was the first “career” job I’d ever applied for!). If I was going to move to Chile with Mr. Cubbie, what would my visa status be if I didn’t get the job? Would I be a tourist? … Really?? I’d have to leave the country every 3 months! The thought alone was a nightmare. What if one of us got injured while we were living abroad? The other wouldn’t have legal power of attorney over the injured loved one! (Remember those legal reasons for which people actually marry?) They wouldn’t be able to see them, decide medical/legal issues… and probably worse things I don’t even know about! It’s really only for this reason that we told our parents we were “engaged” before it was legit – for legal counseling! (I know! So romantic, huh? 
) None of our parents are attorneys, but c’mon, parents are always the best place to start for life advice!
My parents told us about power of attorney and all that scary “what if” stuff. At this point, we toyed with the idea of being legally married before we left the country, and then getting “weddinged” the following year. We both would love for the wedding ceremony to contain the entire process in one fell romantic swoop, but for the time being we kept the courthouse wedding as an option if I were not offered the job in Chile.
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Yep, that’s right - we got engaged on what most people would consider an extravagant honeymoon in Thailand! Now before you think I’m made of money (which I’m not - remember I was in grad school!!), I have to tell you a little bit about a profession called: astronomy. No, not astroLOGY, ASTRONOMY. Don’t worry if you thought they were one in the same - about 75% of the random people I meet think they are! Alas, Miss Cleo, I am not (Duh! I’m Miss Bear Cub 
).
The Milky Way Galaxy, our home!
Anyway, astronomy is a rather small professional community. Add to the fact that there are as many sub-fields in astronomy as there are stars in the sky (hah!), and you find that your “coworkers” live on the other side of the world. Mr. Cubbie and I met in grad school for astronomy, and each of our research fields are completely alien to the other (heehee ).
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Dear Lovey-Magilacutty,
Exactly one year ago, you truly surprised me with your thoughtful and well-planned proposal. I’m sorry we can’t be together to honor the occasion today, but we’ll be celebrating an even bigger event very soon! Miss you and stay warm in Seattle!!
Happy engage-a-versary!
Love,
Miss P
P.S. And spanks for the hilarious e-card!!
It’s no secret my family has an addiction to junk food; hence the character choice, Miss Piglet! Mr. Piglet, on the other hand, rarely craves anything too sweet. He’s repulsed by my ability to eat Snickers and Starburst as morning treats, and usually convinces me to order summer versus spring rolls. According to my dentist, the last cavity found left no room for additional cavities on my back molars. Look Ma, no [mo] cavities. 
Allow me to digress for a sec and offer you a bit of insight into the logistical situation of our relationship. Although we’re merely an hour away from each other, I consider our relationship semi-long distance not only because we’re separated by the state line; but more so, [duh duh duhhh] THE beltway. We did it though! For five years, we mainly saw each other on weekends with the occasional weekday visit. Did I mention I’m still a piglet living at home? That means, the Mr would often come from Baltimore and head back up the same day. Boy, I heart him.
Ok back to the story! After one of our weekend soirees, I was shocked when Mr. Piglet pulled out a pack of Starburst from his jacket pocket just before taking me home on a Sunday afternoon. This is RARE I tell you.
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Mr. P’s proposal was extremely well-planned, thoughtful, and full of meaning (not to mention a few challenges)! I had planned on taking a girlfriend, Abby, to a very special 30th birthday dinner that Tuesday. Panicked after hearing our phone conversation a week earlier, Mr. P had to step in, as he had plans of his own! Somehow he convinced Abby to cancel the dinner (apparently calling and emailing her for almost a week). So, Abby reluctantly wrote me a last minute email saying that she couldn’t make it (for vaguely work-related reasons).
That evening Mr. P surprised me by picking me up from work, citing that he wanted to walk me home that balmy evening.
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I love summer nights in Boston. I love the comfortable temperature, the smell of summer rain and all the fun things to do outside. From free movies on the Esplanade to camping under the stars, we Bostonians know how to take advantage of our short summer months.
My absolute favorite summer evening activity is to take a trip out to the Berkshires. This region in MA is the summer retreat of the Boston Pops Orchestra, where they perform outdoors at Tanglewood. Laying out under the stars hearing the orchestra play beautiful classical pieces is so relaxing and peaceful… and oh-so-romantic! It was my secret dream to get engaged out in Tanglewood. Well, secret until the summer of 2006 when I blurted it out to some friends who came to Tanglewood with me that year. Sigh, me and my big mouth.
Fast-forward 2 years.
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